Hi ArbreMonde,
That's a lot a realizations to be dealing with. I hope you can do some self-care.
Good news about the workman!
--the Gang
Moderator: Johnny-Jack
TheGangsAllHere wrote:Hi ArbreMonde,
That's a lot a realizations to be dealing with. I hope you can do some self-care.
Good news about the workman!
--the Gang
Lust in another topic wrote:♥ One of the relationship I/we have been trapped in, involved a guy who pretended to "help" us and "heal" us and "save" us.
***************************TW : abuses of all sorts*************************
♥ All he did was: manipulate us - especially me, triggering me into fronting - into behaving the way he thought would mean "healing". Refusing to allow us to express our "bad" emotions (such as, being angry at our past abusers, beind depressed because of the trauma, being stressed because of autistic overload), to engage into "bad" activities (liking Pokémon games, liking Tamagotchi ((he even searched our bag for our Tamagotchi and "confiscated" it until the battery died)), liking "true crime" shows ((he would yell at us for watching them)), liking unicorns ((he even had us throw away some of our unicorn plushies)) etc.), to have difficulties engaging into "adult activities" (driving is hellish because of autistic overloads, cooking is difficult because of dyspraxia and lack of parental teaching into cooking, a lot of us don't like to have sex ((which lead to him raping us almost on a daily basis while making us feel guilty for "forcing him to rape us")) ).
♥ He was angry that we needed an outside therapist and would calculate our respective shares of participating into the paying of rent, food etc. without accounting for the therapist payments, meaning that we could never buy ourselves nice things because we were out of money at the end of the months - making us dependend on him and his willingness to give us presents, in order to have clothes or shoes or furnitures or paying the cat's vet bill.
♥ Each time we showed signs of not being perfectly 200% happy about being with him, he would be abusive in all sorts of way, including guilt-tripping us for feeling bad or having trauma. He sometimes became physically violent if we reminded him of our past traumas. He abused us when we made our transgender coming-out.
♥ But when talking with people outside of the relationship, his point of view always was (and I'm sure it still is) that he was doing his best to help me/us get better, and I/we were abusively unwilling to get better and abusively refusing sex to him and abusively making him pay for our clothes. He also "punished" us for seeing his car had a flat, by making us pay for the tire replacement, as if noticing the flat was the same thing as creating the flat.
♥ He went as far as keeping our meds away from us because "if you keep taking them you'll become addicted" or "if you take more than 3 meds per day it means you're just as sick as having AIDS and obviously you are NOT as sick as AIDS therefore you have to pick 2 of the 3 but you cannot take all 3" (he included "vitamin supplements" and "painkillers when the periods are so bad I'm waking up in the middle of the night crying out of pain" in the "3 pills a day" count).
********************END TW************************************************
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