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[life journey thread]Tales from the WorldTree

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Re: [life journey thread]Tales from the WorldTree

Postby YunaTheSummoner » Wed May 11, 2022 12:18 pm

So are you fully integrated now? so there's just one.. 'Morwan'?
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Re: [life journey thread]Tales from the WorldTree

Postby ArbreMonde » Wed May 11, 2022 4:13 pm

Yes and no.

I am a bit like a reverse hydra : one head many bodies. A lot of "background" things still need work, but for the everyday identity, it's kinda fused. Though I can still feel the different zones inside, like one can feel one's organs and muscles separately.

Moreover there is still a lot of trauma work to do.

It's just kinda fun to see that most people seems to be integrating "bottom up" and I am doing it "top down".
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System host/umbrella identity: Morwan

Journey thread | DID ressources thread

This too shall pass. It shall pass like a kidney stone, but it shall pass.
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Re: [life journey thread]Tales from the WorldTree

Postby ArbreMonde » Thu May 12, 2022 10:46 am

So many things in 24 hours. I'll try to keep track.

First, I ended my psychiatrist appointments. I did my best to wrap it up respectfully. I listed the things she helped me with/for. I apologized for the times I was a difficult patient, for my difficulties to create a proper therapeutic alliance with her. I assured her that I would keep taking my meds and have the prescriptions refilled by the general physician - and go back to her and her specific knowledge of this all if I feel like I need to adjuste the dose or the molecule. I also told her I'll certainly be calling back when I need psychiatrist papers for this or that medical procedure and to expect me to call and place apps for that when I'll need the papers.

I also showed her the progress I made lately, assured her of the support I have in terms of friends, girlfriend, DID therapy, autism support, overall medical support for the more biological stuff that I still need such as keeping track of my hormones, weight, overall health state, and so on.

We parted ways on good terms and she assured me her door would always be open and I told her I'll make sure to call and place an appointment whenever I'll need her in the future.

Closure. Good and proper therapy closure. I was able to do that. Me.

(Theia in the background: "Of course you are, you silly goose!" She tends to call me "silly goose" for a lot of things lately. :roll: )

Second, before the appointment with the psychiatrist, I was able to deal serenely with the fact that I forgot which intercom number to call (she switched location since the last app). I checked through the glass door that I could see her name on one of the letterboxes inside, tried to read the intercom number, failed, tried to call her phone number, failed (she has no Internet nor landline yet since she arrived like, monday in her new building), so I just picked an intercom number at random and asked if the person knew which number was hers. Rang a kind lady who told me which one it was. No stress, no sweat, mind blown.

Third, since i had some time between the end of my appointment and the time when the "taxi bus" would come pick me up, I went to the nearby grocery store. I used to know it by heart because I used to live in the same street at this store, a couple years ago. I arrived and see everything was chaotic inside because half of the store is being re-done so, the shampoos are sat between the tomatoes and the apples.

I did not panic. It took me some time to find my way in the aisles with all the chaotic mess it was, but I managed. I took what I wanted to take and not what I felt I had to take because sales. I did NOT dissociate because "panic everything is in chaos AND it is different from what I remember it to be". Moreover, when I was waiting for the "taxi bus", I was starting to fee hungry. And... I did NOT want to eat the snacks I had filled my bag with. I wanted to come home and cook a proper meal.

It blew my mind.

Not so long ago I would have caved in and slipped into misadapted eating behaviors. Not this time. I did not even need to engage into an inner conflict with myself in order to manage. I went straight for "I wanna go home and cook and eat a proper meal". And a yummy meal I ate. (Mungo beans, garlic smoked pork sausage, spring veggies, spices and herbs - with a pear and a kiwi for dessert.)

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Autistic | ADHD | DID | transmasc (they/them & he/him)

System host/umbrella identity: Morwan

Journey thread | DID ressources thread

This too shall pass. It shall pass like a kidney stone, but it shall pass.
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Re: [life journey thread]Tales from the WorldTree

Postby TheGangsAllHere » Sat May 14, 2022 5:00 am

Sounds like you did a great job all around with those various challenges.

And it's also good that you can notice and appreciate your successes.

It's great to read about your progress.
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Re: [life journey thread]Tales from the WorldTree

Postby YunaTheSummoner » Sat May 14, 2022 7:47 am

well done for not panicking! We've not managed to get to the point of not panicking at all when 'Bobby or Kit have been too near the front in public.

I'd like to achieve it one day but they prefer to just stay well out of the way when we have any appointments or social events to attend. I think we will end up with all the 'social alters' blending as one new host for dealing with the outside world and Bobby and Kit maybe blending but only coming out around the house or when they can get the dog out with no-one else about.
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