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Multi-faceted & semi-precious.

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Re: Multi-faceted & semi-precious.

Postby ArbreMonde » Sun Sep 15, 2019 11:36 am

Regarding Waste being "lost" I have heard some systems put together "rescue missions" to help the members stuck in the "there and then" come back to the "here and now".

I also agree that re-parenting with physical people is too risky. Maybe finding other system members who could care for Waste like parents, might be a better idea?

--Zami--
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Re: Multi-faceted & semi-precious.

Postby Amythyst » Sun Sep 15, 2019 12:26 pm

Hey thanks Zami,

Yeah we kinda know 'where' Waste is, and we do have L---- who can get to those places. I think tho that we can't 'rescue' anyone until they're ready and they want to be rescued. It's gonna take some time and stuff.

There's also Guardian who's keeping some of those like Waste 'protected' and stuff. Like its a 2 way thing, he protects us from them, protects them from us, from the outside, whatever. In the end tho it means they're more isolated and more dissociated, so they're really outta touch with like the present and the outside world and stuff.

I think we're gonna hafta work through him too, like to get him to start relaxing a bit before we can even really start working with the ones hes protecting.

We've heard of other systems having parts who're like, motherly or whatever, who can care for littles or other parts that need it. So far we don't have anyone in our system who can do that.

(Ok Rebecca's done it once, for a couple minutes, in an emergency, but we've never seen her do it again.)

I kinda wonder if its cos we never had good role models or whatever for that? Like we never learned how to be like that cos noone was ever like that for us? Maybe. I dunno.

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Re: Multi-faceted & semi-precious.

Postby TheGangsAllHere » Sun Sep 15, 2019 7:39 pm

While there's no way to actually be re-parented by an outside person, a good T can help with a lot of attachment needs that were never met. Not with dependency needs, but with modeling healthy caring attachment and emotional closeness.

But the first step is to just be aware of those feelings and those needs. It sounds like Waste is starting to express themselves more, and that you guys are recognizing feelings that come from them. I guess just being open to hearing about them and being as available to listen as you can--that's something important that you can do right now.
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Re: Multi-faceted & semi-precious.

Postby Amythyst » Mon Sep 16, 2019 9:43 am

Thanks Gang,

Yeah we're trying to like, be aware and stuff. It's hard sometimes, like first its hard not to just automatically ignore / push away the feelings. And then its hard sometimes to remember / recognize where they're coming from. But we're working at it.

I dunno about the attachment stuff and 'emotional closeness' stuff with our T. That feels like its gonna take a long time to understand.

Right now I'm feeling kinda disoriented and stuff. Woke up thinking I could sleep in cos I was convinced it was Sunday... realized it was Monday and that I lost the day. :? Been a while since I had a whole day of missing time like that. :(

Even tho I can see on the calendar and stuff that its Monday, I keep forgetting & thinking its Sunday again. :?

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Re: Multi-faceted & semi-precious.

Postby Amythyst » Tue Sep 17, 2019 10:14 am

So I seem to be stuck fronting at the moment. :x

There were a couple yucky chores that noone wanted to do, then me and V2 made a deal yesterday, I'd take over and do the chores, for a couple trade-offs. That was fine, but then when I tried to get her back after, I couldn't find her. :(

I tried before going to sleep. I tried when we woke up at like 2am. I've been trying on and off the past hour. Can't find her, can't hear her, dunno where she's at. :?

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Re: Multi-faceted & semi-precious.

Postby ArbreMonde » Tue Sep 17, 2019 11:19 am

Being stuck front alone is a nasty feeling. Stay strong! And when V2 will be back, I hope you'll have the explanations for it all.

-X-
Multiple system Dx autistic, depression, c-PTSD...

he/him | she/her | they/them

Active system members {this is a sub-system}:
oOo van Hohenheim | oTo Trisha | & Urielle {~ Theia|# Uriel} | - X (also answers to: Solomon, David, Scar) | // Ulysses | ♥ Lust | {Pride|Wrath} | -- {Zami}

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Re: Multi-faceted & semi-precious.

Postby Amythyst » Tue Sep 17, 2019 3:56 pm

Hey thanks X.

I think there's something the others want me tto do, thats why I'm stuck right now. I gotta do the thing then it'll be ok. I think / hope. :?

In the meantime theres stuff going on outside, around our house. Like people in hi-viz clothes doing noisy work with noisy machines. It is driving us up the wall. So much stress and stuff. Plus its intermittent, theres noise then there's not. Then there's shouting then there's not.

Its really hard to keep focused and finish anything? Like theres a dozen things on our todo list and I think I've started half of them but finished 2 of them? I just keep getting distracted and forgetting what I'm doing and starting something else.

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Re: Multi-faceted & semi-precious.

Postby Amythyst » Wed Sep 18, 2019 10:48 am

I'm back again. I was back when we woke around 2 this morning.

But our memory's been glitched again. You know that sort of cliche thing where they ask "whats the last thing you remember?" I got nothing.

There's memories, but I don't know which is the 'last' one, nothing's in order. I don't remember anything of the past week.

Just finished going through our journal and our twitters, and now i'm catching up here, to figure out what's been going on.

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Re: Multi-faceted & semi-precious.

Postby Amythyst » Wed Sep 18, 2019 8:29 pm

I need to get better at telling our T what we wanna focus on.

We went straight from like normal "hello how are you" stuff to up wasting most of the session talking about our lost memory. I'm sure we already talked about this when it happened last time. It's just a thing that happens, we're pretty sure we know why, we didn't hafta waste our session going th rough it again. :?

I gotta learn to be able to tell her like "no we don't wanna waste time on this" and change the subject. I dunno why I can't do that. It's like I just start asking questions and never think about what I wanna say just think about answering her next question. :x

Then towards the end she started saying how we could enlist L---- to help deal with the parts who're still like deeper into dissociation and stuff, and we know that's gonna take a long time and a lotta work and stuff.

But then we wasted even more time cos she was like so vague. Like "L---- can help [redacted] be less scared." and it's like, yeah maybe, but how? How do you want L---- to do that? L---- was like, "this is a goal not a mission. Tell me how you think I can help them, not just what you want the end result to look like." :x

Then suddenly we were outta time. So when I was in the parking lot writing stuff down L---- was still talking and was like "Maybe before we start digging in deep to try to help parts that are really hard to get to, we should start by helping the ones who're already standing around here right infront of us? Like Janet, Charlie, Melissa, Viola, V2...?"

And I was like, "yeah, good point, just cos they aren't buried in deep doesn't mean they're not holding onto trauma or bad feelings." and also like "wait, Viola and me?" :(

Now I'm kinda scared that I've got problems I don't even know about. But also kinda angry about having to wait a whole week to get to the stuff that came up at the very end of this session that feels like we wasted. :x

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Re: Multi-faceted & semi-precious.

Postby MakersDozn » Wed Sep 18, 2019 9:03 pm

Hi V2,

Did L talk directly to the T or through you?

And we're wondering....maybe what seemed like the session going by too quickly was really someone else coming out and you not being aware?

Or we could be completely wrong. Just wondering.

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