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Multi-faceted & semi-precious.

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Re: Multi-faceted & semi-precious.

Postby Amythyst » Sun Sep 08, 2019 5:53 pm

Thanks Gang!

Yeah thats definitely gonna be like top priority at our next session. Mike already had it on our notes for next week and that was before all this stuff happened.

V2
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Re: Multi-faceted & semi-precious.

Postby MakersDozn » Mon Sep 09, 2019 12:42 am

Echoing what Gang said plus one other thing. We seem to remember that L. didn't want to participate in any system meetings, but we're glad to see that she did.

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Multiple self-dxed 1996. Body 58f. System of 47: 42 ♀, 5 ♂; 17 littles (7+under), 9 middles (8-11), 14 teens (12-17+), 5 bigs (18+up), + a formless yin/yang. Oldest member is 25.

Notable: Charity 25, Deborah 23, Drew 23f, Mary 23, Rachel 23, Laura 17.5, Allegra 17, Cass 17, shawn 16f.
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Re: Multi-faceted & semi-precious.

Postby Amythyst » Mon Sep 09, 2019 9:17 am

Thanks MDs!

You're right, L. said she wouldn't come to the meeting room. She said she'd only attend if we were out in nature.

She 'joined' in our meeting yesterday but she didn't come into the room. She kinda tele-commuted or whatever from 'outside'...

Typing that out I guess it's kinda irrelevant cos its all happening inside our brain? Like whether its a meeting-room or a forest? :?

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Re: Multi-faceted & semi-precious.

Postby MakersDozn » Mon Sep 09, 2019 4:04 pm

Well, the location may be relevant to L. :)

Anyway, glad the meeting went well.

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Multiple self-dxed 1996. Body 58f. System of 47: 42 ♀, 5 ♂; 17 littles (7+under), 9 middles (8-11), 14 teens (12-17+), 5 bigs (18+up), + a formless yin/yang. Oldest member is 25.

Notable: Charity 25, Deborah 23, Drew 23f, Mary 23, Rachel 23, Laura 17.5, Allegra 17, Cass 17, shawn 16f.
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Re: Multi-faceted & semi-precious.

Postby Amythyst » Tue Sep 10, 2019 10:05 am

Yeah you're totally right MDs, L. cares alot about 'where' we do meetings and stuff. She loves trees and nature and stuff.

We're trying to figure out how to add some 'outdoors' near the meeting room, and I'm not sure if stuff has to like 'make sense' as a map or floor plan or whatever, or if it can be like 'impossible' stuff.

I kinda think we can do anything so 'impossible' is ok, but I dunno if everyone will accept that. Like it might be too freaky or whatever for some parts, so I don't wanna do something to make one person happy thatt makes someone else unhappy, kinda thing. :?

OTOH it's not like its all up to me anyways, stuff can get figured out without me and I'll just realize it's there later. So maybe I don't need to stress about it too much lol.

V2

p.s. Viola was here most of the day yesterday and was mostly in a better mood. :) We're totally gonna have some words with our T tomorrow tho about that stuff.
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Re: Multi-faceted & semi-precious.

Postby Amythyst » Wed Sep 11, 2019 8:00 pm

We had T today. We were already exhausted before going and we're double exhausted now.

We talked to the T about that stuff from last session, she kinda acknowledged it but I don't know if she really 'gets' it or not. We didn't go into details about how it affected Viola, cos Viola decided she didn't want to. I think she was feeling a bit selfconsious about her freak-out last week. :?

So we started doing a bit more of the meeting stuff but then kinda went off in another direction and ended up talking with L----. She wasn't in t he room but came to the void and talked from there.

T had some questions for her and a few things came up that... I dunno yet how to process. Stuff that feels like we kinda maybe suspected? Like it wasn't a huge shock to hear but it was still like troubling. Gonna take a while to even know how I feel about it, let alone find out how anyone else feels about it.

When it was done, I also got the feeling that like the past 2 years our DID has been on 'easy mode' and things are just gonna get harder in the future.

Like, most of the parts we've been working with aren't too traumatized? The ones who're active so far, are all fairly stable. But the ones who had the worst of it, who might still be in trauma time, we haven't really got to them yet but we're gonna hafta before long. And that's when stuff's gonna get really rough, I think. :(

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Re: Multi-faceted & semi-precious.

Postby Amythyst » Thu Sep 12, 2019 11:35 am

The past 2 therapy sessions have been 'good' and like we've maybe made some progress and stuff. But they've been super exhausting.

And it feels like there's been some kinda 'backlash' both times, like bad feelings that come up. Before the sessions we've had a lot of depersonalization and anxiety like someone doesn't want us going, and then afterwards theres denial, self-doubt, self-loathing, loneliness, and a desire to isolate ourself even more.

It was worse this time than it was last week, like last week it was easy to ignore. This week its not. Like this morning I just feel like there's something really, really, wrong with us but I can't really define it. Just... like we are wrong, bad, useless...

Now I've written it out I recognize it... I think this is coming from Waste. :( I dunno if that helps tho cos I don't know what to do about it. Guess we try to talk with them or something, try to help them... or at least try to get them to stop affecting the rest of us?

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Re: Multi-faceted & semi-precious.

Postby Amythyst » Thu Sep 12, 2019 12:11 pm

I've tried asking what we can do to help. What Waste needs or wants, what can we do for them.

The answer I get... feels like an impossible set-up. Like they want the impossible, so when it fails or doesn't happen then they can be justified and say "See! We really are worthless unlovable garbage! I was right all along!"

I don't think they're doing it like intentionaly to be a jerk. I think they just sort of truly believe we are worthless garbage and so the only way to 'prove otherwise' to them is just like impossibly high.

I dunno what to do.

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Ciara(10f); Em(22f); Teg(6f); Viola(17f); et cetera
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Re: Multi-faceted & semi-precious.

Postby MakersDozn » Thu Sep 12, 2019 2:37 pm

Hi V2,

Some system members just need more time than others to get on board. We'd say just keep on doing the things that are already working, and eventually Waste will see that this is a good thing.

Sending encouragement,

MDs
Multiple self-dxed 1996. Body 58f. System of 47: 42 ♀, 5 ♂; 17 littles (7+under), 9 middles (8-11), 14 teens (12-17+), 5 bigs (18+up), + a formless yin/yang. Oldest member is 25.

Notable: Charity 25, Deborah 23, Drew 23f, Mary 23, Rachel 23, Laura 17.5, Allegra 17, Cass 17, shawn 16f.
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Re: Multi-faceted & semi-precious.

Postby TheGangsAllHere » Thu Sep 12, 2019 4:59 pm

What do they want? Maybe it’s not impossible.
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