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How would you take thos from a therapist

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How would you take thos from a therapist

Postby Dnester » Sat Aug 10, 2019 11:04 pm

My old therapist went on vacation. She hugged me and said she would be coming back but if I chose to stay with my new Psychologist she would understand since she is nuturing and I need that and is experienced in DID. I emailed her and said are you hinting for me not to come back. She said that was brave to ask and just like with her I had a good relationship she thinks that I could have one with the new therapist as well but she would be there to come back to. Well my old therapist is back. She said she thinks I need to make sure me and my new therapist come to an agreement that we are both finished with our work. I just feel like she doesn't want me coming back.
Body 43 year old female
I have 4 or 5 that take over from time to time
They are Thorne (aka Veronica), Gray, Abela, and Tessa (aka Tez) Abela was the first to appear then Thorne.
To many fragments to list (lots of littles)
4 or 5 adult fragments
My signature is subject to change as I learn more about my system.
Dnester
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Re: How would you take thos from a therapist

Postby IainEtc » Sat Aug 10, 2019 11:57 pm

Hi,

We went through the same thing. Our old T had to leave and sent us to a new T. We asked our old T like a thousand times if she was leaving because we'd done something wrong. She said 'no'. Every time. We had to work to believe her words and not our fear.

Good luck.

Iain
Iain - 14, Colin - 17, Evan - 7, Cody - 16, Raven, & Host - the adult out front

When they say 'be yourself',
which one do they mean?
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Re: How would you take thos from a therapist

Postby Una+ » Sun Aug 11, 2019 1:25 pm

A therapist who does not want to see a client any more has many more direct strategies for making it so. And it is their job to say what they mean and mean what they say. Most importantly, what the therapist wants should be of no concern to the client. As her client it is not your job to accommodate her in any way.

She is asking you to make a conscious decision and be up front about it too, by formally terminating with one therapist or the other.

You can talk about this with the current therapist. You can even talk about your fear that the other therapist does not want to see you anymore, and work on letting go of that fear.
Dx DID older woman married w kids. 0 Una, host + 3, 1, 5. 1 animal. 2 older man. 3 teen girl. 4 girl behind amnesia wall. 5 girl in love. Our thread.
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Re: How would you take thos from a therapist

Postby lartiste » Sun Aug 11, 2019 5:36 pm

Hey there,
I personally don‘t think your old T doesnt want to work with you anymore, but I definitely understand your anxiety! I think your T just wants to make sure you don‘t feel like you „need“ to keep seeing her, if you think the new therapist is a better fit for you.
Would you rather stay with your old T or do you think you might benefit more from the new T? Any answer is okay here. You will figure out what‘s best for you, I believe in that.
If your therapist didn‘t want to work with you anymore, they‘d let you know directly. They would tell you that they think you two should part ways. Most therapists are very honest about their feelings towards your relationship. It doesn‘t benefit the therapist if they lied to you, it wouldn‘t benefit you either, so I think we can trust your therapist here and believe that they just want the best for you.

Sending you calming vibes,
Julia
Body is 19, System of 5 (so far):
-Julia/Jules, 19, Host
-Lucy, 8-11
-Sunny, 5-8
-Annie, 4
-grey thing?
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Re: How would you take thos from a therapist

Postby Dnester » Sun Aug 11, 2019 10:56 pm

She isn't a DID specialist. She is a EMDR specialist. Maybe she feels I should stay with the DID specialist since she admits she knows nothing about it. Then come to her after I have dealt with that. Two problems with that. She's 73 she could be dead by then and 2 I am not working towards integration at this time.
Body 43 year old female
I have 4 or 5 that take over from time to time
They are Thorne (aka Veronica), Gray, Abela, and Tessa (aka Tez) Abela was the first to appear then Thorne.
To many fragments to list (lots of littles)
4 or 5 adult fragments
My signature is subject to change as I learn more about my system.
Dnester
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Posts: 711
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Re: How would you take thos from a therapist

Postby TheGangsAllHere » Sun Aug 11, 2019 11:09 pm

Nothing you wrote talks about how YOU feel and who YOU would rather work with. That's what everyone who wrote is telling you is the most important thing. If you feel like you have a better relationship with the one who just got back, then you should see her. If you feel that the current one is a better fit, then keep seeing her.
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Re: How would you take thos from a therapist

Postby Dnester » Sun Aug 11, 2019 11:52 pm

I dont really know. My therapist that just got back from vacation thought a little bit of everything was wrong with me which I didn't like. I had and have maternal transference with her though that I dont have with my Psychologist. She doesn't know anything about DID but is very good at grounding and mindfulness and trauma. My psychologist thinks everything is DID. She is suspect in her practices but she is also very knowledgeable about DID. I feel closer to my T that just got back.
Body 43 year old female
I have 4 or 5 that take over from time to time
They are Thorne (aka Veronica), Gray, Abela, and Tessa (aka Tez) Abela was the first to appear then Thorne.
To many fragments to list (lots of littles)
4 or 5 adult fragments
My signature is subject to change as I learn more about my system.
Dnester
Consumer 6
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Posts: 711
Joined: Tue Apr 03, 2018 10:38 pm
Local time: Thu Aug 22, 2019 7:16 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: How would you take thos from a therapist

Postby Una+ » Mon Aug 12, 2019 3:00 pm

So, for you, key questions now would be:

1. Is the maternal transference with the EMDR therapist a good thing for you at this time, or not? Are you ready to work through it, or work with it, or is it more likely to get in the way?

2. Are you ready to work with the EMDR therapist now, or should EMDR be postponed until you are more stabilized?

3. If you work with the DID therapist now then you face the prospect of no future opportunity to work with the EMDR therapist who is in her 70's. Can you face terminating with her? Can you go back for occasional "check in" visits?

There are all questions you can talk through with either or both therapists.
Dx DID older woman married w kids. 0 Una, host + 3, 1, 5. 1 animal. 2 older man. 3 teen girl. 4 girl behind amnesia wall. 5 girl in love. Our thread.
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Re: How would you take thos from a therapist

Postby Dnester » Mon Aug 12, 2019 9:14 pm

I talked with my therapist she said she would work with me with my transference issues and do her best to help me with my DID. She said I needed to let my Psychologist know what is going on though.
Body 43 year old female
I have 4 or 5 that take over from time to time
They are Thorne (aka Veronica), Gray, Abela, and Tessa (aka Tez) Abela was the first to appear then Thorne.
To many fragments to list (lots of littles)
4 or 5 adult fragments
My signature is subject to change as I learn more about my system.
Dnester
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 711
Joined: Tue Apr 03, 2018 10:38 pm
Local time: Thu Aug 22, 2019 7:16 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: How would you take thos from a therapist

Postby KingsleyHere » Tue Aug 13, 2019 3:40 pm

A younger one was talking to T about dying. We have both recently had deaths in our families. T also had a birthday & commented that in prior years he would of considered someone his age an old man. She panicked & asked if he was going to die. He replied he didn't plan on it! He said it was his job to help us learn to take care of ourselves. Make those decisions that were best for us & handle them well.Sounds like that is what your T is asking. Decide which T will move you forward. Finish up the work with the other. Her job was helping you be able to do that.
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