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I am NOT delusional

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I am NOT delusional

Postby Skaya » Wed May 15, 2019 2:26 pm

Absolutely ######6 fuming - got a letter from the hospital we've just been discharged from, and the consultant there (who was an absolute wanker whichever way you slice it) has labelled everything we spoke about re: DID as 'delusional'. He called us deluded, dismissed everything we spoke about. I'm so ######6 angry I don't know where to start. It's also just really destabilising and upsetting. ARGH. I don't know how to process this. Jen.

Em (25, f, host), Jen (19, f) Echo (4, f) Angel (9, f), Vivian (36, f), Jacob (13, m), Xavier (?, m), Oliver (?, m) SO Lex (f) may be mentioned.
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Re: I am NOT delusional

Postby MakersDozn » Wed May 15, 2019 3:21 pm

Ugh.

Is this wanker's opinion going to follow you around as part of your ongoing treatment history? We hope not.

We can understand why you feel upset and destabilized. Whatever happened with Lex lodging a complaint? And do you have any means for contesting what the wanker wrote about you?

We're sorry this is happening to you.

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Re: I am NOT delusional

Postby KawaiiKitty » Wed May 15, 2019 3:36 pm

Sounds like the consultant is a bit of a ######6 moron. You should complain ain't no one got the right to treat you like $#%^.

Nadia.
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Re: I am NOT delusional

Postby Zor » Wed May 15, 2019 5:25 pm

Delusional disorders are more schizoaffective. It's a break from reality.

Dissociation is NOT delusional. Sounds like the person writing the discharge paperwork needs to brush up on what dissociation is in general, much less DID specifically.
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Re: I am NOT delusional

Postby Sarandipity » Wed May 15, 2019 6:01 pm

I was literally just assessing something similar myself last night.

Mandy who has been "asleep" and living in the inner world woke up last night. The overlord had created an inner world exactly like the outer world. This created immense confusion in Mandy and everything she was saying and feeling I realised if I walked into a hospital voicing that I would sound psychotic and delusional.

She felt unsure of whether everything was real or was she still in the inner world. Say to a psychiatrist "I feel like this isn't real" and your delusional or psychotic.

Then she felt like other people knew what she was thinking - which in an inner world ie your in your own head, people are constructs of outside people who are there to interact with so they would "know what she was thinking" again without myself knowing what was happening and being able to talk to Mandy, which I couldn't years ago, I would of just thought and said "I think people know what I'm thinking"

Anything, even something tiny, out of pattern from typical usual behaviour is seen as scary because in the inner world the constructs are built on traits and patterns of that person so if a person does something out of those normal patterns then the person is seen as potentially "not really them" because they are not behaving like the construct which then gives the feeling they're someone else - another alter who has somehow invaded and took the form of an outside person. Which is expressed if you don't know what's happening and have no communication with the alter who just woke up as "I feel like people aren't really themselves, like they've been taken over by someone else"

In the past I would of checked myself into hospital last night thinking omg I'm psychotic, I feel like everything might not be real, people can read my thoughts and they are taken over by other people. But last night between Mandy realising she must of been in an internal world that was the image of the external world, by me talking to her and by talking with the overlord and by a stroke of fate the electricity going off (that doesn't happen in a constructed inner world how it happens irl) and by checking certain physical things around me with Mandy I was able to get her to realise she was outside and all those feelings stopped.

We spoke to the overlord and said we don't think it's a good idea to have an internal world construct that mimics the outside because of these factors. Again I think this is linked to no-one waking up after 20 years because that's how we used to live, inside was like outside but we haven't needed to do that for years. It's a defensive mechanism so every part is in the know of the outside and if briefly needed they're there and up to speed but it has the above side effects and its unnecessary because we're not in a danger threatening situation. We woke up all other alters and they were very relieved. Everyone is back internally again except for me (Beth) the overlord /Mr or Mrs Brightside and occasionally the twins and/or no-one. The others are back to normal - yoga or at the pub or playing etc. The twins are working on therapy preparation and we're dealing with up front so the others can rest before therapy. That's the idea. It was a bad idea them being in an inside out world because of all the side effects that has.

So yes, it's terrible that so many DID symptoms are seen as delusional or psychotic because I've found being aware of myself and knowing myself and accepting parts and keeping up communication allows me to function better. There isn't need for antipsychotic and it isn't even delusional - it is the symptoms of a person waking up from a very long sleep.

That's how I see it. I had it with the twins, they were in a waking dream type thing. With Mandy it was pure confusion of am I still asleep or not and much quicker solved. It would of been very slow to solve if I didn't know 1. Mandy woke up 2. I could communicate with her to find out she was in a mimic outside internal world 3. I'd rushed to hospital to pour anti psych meds down my throat. I'd be worse now. Much worse. I know because it's what I used to do, I did know to talk to alters or about inner works, I would just get strange thoughts and feelings and think I was mad.

Until mainstream doctors and psychiatrists have accepted this disorder and learnt about it we will not be going near one. I don't think that's happening in my lifetime.

Sorry to hear you had this experience, its awful to reach out and be told stuff that is unhelpful and counterproductive. Wishing you so much good will. From every part of my system
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Re: I am NOT delusional

Postby Zor » Thu May 16, 2019 3:49 pm

Sarandipity wrote:I was literally just assessing something similar myself last night.


I just had this same conversation with people (the day before yesterday), even a few staff, in a non-profit group for "destigmatizing mental illness". Yet on their page they list a character from an anime title as DID- b/c she delusionally believes she is a famous person she's an agent to, and tries to ASSUME HER LIFE.

This is delusional. NOT DID. And they don't understand the difference- and worse, this particular character, through her delusional state, manipulates both the person she believes she is and a stalker - the latter to violent actions (even murder, and trying to murder the star)... and winds up institutionalized.

THIS IS NOT DID. Trying to explain to them the difference was like trying to pull teeth from an angry snake... and worse yet, they cited a fan-made WIKI page and another fan made page where an enthusiast costumer wrote an article... THOSE say "DID" or "maybe DID"... so THAT was their "expert" basis for it. Despite that _I_ was posting a half dozen LEGITIMATE links.

There's a TON of cluelessness and ignorance out there. We have to constantly be on guard for it and aware of it. Sadly, we've got a VERY long fight ahead of us to change public perception of DID and dissociation in general. :(
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Re: I am NOT delusional

Postby Skaya » Thu May 16, 2019 9:14 pm

MakersDozn wrote:Ugh.

Is this wanker's opinion going to follow you around as part of your ongoing treatment history? We hope not.

We can understand why you feel upset and destabilized. Whatever happened with Lex lodging a complaint? And do you have any means for contesting what the wanker wrote about you?

We're sorry this is happening to you.

MDs


It's always gonna be on my notes, now, so I'm ######6 livid about that. Lex is still lodging a complain (thank god) but it doesn't change his uneducated bastard 'opinion'. I just can't believe that this is going to be a thing, now. He also mentioned, quote "possible thought insertion" delusion as well, so fabulous, I'm now being recognised as having something more akin to psychosis than DID in his eyes. Go figure. I'm beyond livid. No clue what I can do, either, beyond continuing to work with my main team who know my case better and can vouch for me. Thing is, it's massively knocked my trust and confidence in the psychiatric profession so me and Jacob particularly trust NOBODY right now. Even Lex, which is complicated and we're trying to work around, but ARGH. Thanks for your support, it really does mean the world.

KawaiiKitty wrote:Sounds like the consultant is a bit of a ######6 moron. You should complain ain't no one got the right to treat you like $#%^.


Hey Nadia. Totally agreed. We're doing our best, our SO is submitting a big complaint about how we were treated during this admission so hopefully that helps but seriously, ######6 moron is so not what we needed and has been so destablising :( Jen

Zor wrote:Delusional disorders are more schizoaffective. It's a break from reality.

Dissociation is NOT delusional. Sounds like the person writing the discharge paperwork needs to brush up on what dissociation is in general, much less DID specifically.


Couldn't agree more. I'm just concerned that now it's gonna haunt me on my notes that I'm schizoaffective rather than dissociative, which is massively unhelpful as we're looking to have a referral to specialist dissociative services later this year. This is the last thing we need.

Sarandipity wrote:I was literally just assessing something similar myself last night.
...
Until mainstream doctors and psychiatrists have accepted this disorder and learnt about it we will not be going near one. I don't think that's happening in my lifetime.

Sorry to hear you had this experience, its awful to reach out and be told stuff that is unhelpful and counterproductive. Wishing you so much good will. From every part of my system


God I feel you, it's making me want to withdraw a long way away from all psych services for the foreseeable future, but we don't ahve that option, we're not functional enough to manage without at least *some* exposure to psych services, and I don't esp want to die and I don't really know how to manage any of this $#%^ because it's making it worse, not better, to keep trying to make people understand what we're experiencing and how this works. Everything is being pinned on the specialist referral, and if that falls through, it'll be utterly devastating to everybody. I don't know how we'd come back from it.

Zor wrote:There's a TON of cluelessness and ignorance out there. We have to constantly be on guard for it and aware of it. Sadly, we've got a VERY long fight ahead of us to change public perception of DID and dissociation in general. :(


God it's so. ######6. depressing. I don't know how we're expected to live and thrive or even just ######6 live when this is the kind of $#%^ we're faced with. It's not fair. I know it's petty but it's just not ######6 fair. Jen.
Em (25, f, host), Jen (19, f) Echo (4, f) Angel (9, f), Vivian (36, f), Jacob (13, m), Xavier (?, m), Oliver (?, m) SO Lex (f) may be mentioned.
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