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Voluntary Section *possible trigger*

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Voluntary Section *possible trigger*

Postby Skaya » Wed May 01, 2019 2:58 pm

Hey, Jen here.

So we're in a mess atm because Jacob is extremely suicidal. We've been hospitalised, but as an informal patient, so if Jacob fronts he'd be more than able to claim to be another alter and leave under our rights as an informal patient. I've tried speaking to the nurses to say I'm not safe to be allowed out but they're not listening/communicating this and I'm scared senseless.

During therapy today, we discussed whether it's feasible to voluntarily be sectioned. If Jacob was on his own, it would be an undoubted section, because he's very dangerous to himself/us right now, but because I'm presenting as halfway composed we're on informal.

I don't know what to do. Any advice would be very very very welcome. Jen.
Em (25, f, host), Jen (19, f) Echo (4, f) Angel (9, f), Vivian (36, f), Jacob (13, m), Xavier (?, m), Oliver (?, m) SO Lex (f) may be mentioned.
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Re: Voluntary Section *possible trigger*

Postby MakersDozn » Wed May 01, 2019 3:40 pm

Hi Jen,

We're glad that you're staying safe. We've only been inpatient once, for two days 20 years ago, so we don't have much advice. But we do know from another thread that Echo seemed to be feeling afraid, so you may want to check and see how she's doing.

We hope that you all feel better soon.

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Multiple. Self-dxed 1996. Body 57f, no host or original. System of 47: 42 females, five males; 17 littles (7+under), nine middles (8-11), 14 teens (12-17+), five bigs (18+older), + a formless yin/yang duo. Oldest member is 25.

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Re: Voluntary Section *possible trigger*

Postby Skaya » Wed May 01, 2019 6:31 pm

Just had a disastrous meeting with the ward consultant and I am destroyed over it.

Basically, acute ward, doesn't understand multiplicity in the slightest. My lack of faith in the mental health services has just magnified out of all whack (again; we have trauma around mental health professionals so I'm hypervigilant of anybody doing this sort of $#%^) and I don't know where to start in fixing things, I feel broken. I feel like I'm completely crazy. Invalidated to hell. I don't know what to do.

And thank you for your reply, MDs. I know Echo's struggling, I'm trying so hard but it's difficult to keep things halfway sane. I'll talk to her and get some time with her and Lex tomorrow so she can hopefully talk through a bit of it.

Thank you. Jen.

Em (25, f, host), Jen (19, f) Echo (4, f) Angel (9, f), Vivian (36, f), Jacob (13, m), Xavier (?, m), Oliver (?, m) SO Lex (f) may be mentioned.
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Re: Voluntary Section *possible trigger*

Postby MakersDozn » Wed May 01, 2019 7:48 pm

Oh, man. So sorry, Jen.

Is there any way at all that you can reframe your situation to the staff in a way that emphasizes the self-harm urges rather than the multiplicity? We know that the multiple stuff is important, but your first priority is keeping yourself/ves safe physically. Do you have any idea what triggers Jacob's urges? Also, can you enlist Vivian's help in dealing with the staff?

And does Lex have any say with the staff regarding your treatment?

Just a few ideas. We know it's hard. You're not crazy or broken. We hear you, and we'll keep listening.

Mary, Allegra, and others
Multiple. Self-dxed 1996. Body 57f, no host or original. System of 47: 42 females, five males; 17 littles (7+under), nine middles (8-11), 14 teens (12-17+), five bigs (18+older), + a formless yin/yang duo. Oldest member is 25.

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Re: Voluntary Section *possible trigger*

Postby Skaya » Thu May 02, 2019 8:04 pm

Hi Mary, Allegra & others,

Thank you so much for your support, I can't tell you how much I needed to hear that.

I'm trying to do what you've suggested and reframe to staff, they're not very amenable to it right now but we'll get there. Lex helped in enlisting more sympathetic staff to help understand what's going on, she's really been helpful - however, she is at points barred from meetings etc. I'm trying to get her recognised as my formal advocate but that's a work very much in progress.

Vivian is currently focusing all of her energies internally and can't really afford concentration lapses, but - the good news - is that she and Xavier have been able to get in touch through external written notes. They're trying to find ways Xavier can help (he's doesn't occupy the same 'space' as other alters do so it's challenging) but it's looking promising.

I'm just really tired, and now quite angry, and very very scared. If I lose grip for a second, he'll take over. He already absconded once (and this STILL isn't enough of a red flag) and had to be brought back. IT's a nightmare.

Thanks for your support <3 Jen.
Em (25, f, host), Jen (19, f) Echo (4, f) Angel (9, f), Vivian (36, f), Jacob (13, m), Xavier (?, m), Oliver (?, m) SO Lex (f) may be mentioned.
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Re: Voluntary Section *possible trigger*

Postby MakersDozn » Thu May 02, 2019 8:33 pm

Glad you're making progress. We'll keep thinking good thoughts for you.

MDs
Multiple. Self-dxed 1996. Body 57f, no host or original. System of 47: 42 females, five males; 17 littles (7+under), nine middles (8-11), 14 teens (12-17+), five bigs (18+older), + a formless yin/yang duo. Oldest member is 25.

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Re: Voluntary Section *possible trigger*

Postby KingsleyHere » Fri May 03, 2019 11:13 pm

Can your regular T be of any help? So staff doesn't understand multiples..common problem here too....or just don't believe in it. You seem to be in close touch with Jacob. Can you just mouth his positions? Normally I'm very opposed to that, but the greater good is keeping everyone in a safe environment. We have one whose sole job is to make everyone believe we are *fine*. She's very good at it too. Unfortunately. Take care of yourself. Please keep us apprised. Thoughts & prayers are with you.
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Re: Voluntary Section *possible trigger*

Postby Skaya » Sat May 04, 2019 5:01 pm

I think you're right, he doesn't believe in it - just want to yell IT'S NOT THE ######6 TOOTH FAIRY, YOU DON'T GET TO DEBATE MY EXISTENCE but apparently that would be unhelpful, according to Vivian, so I've refrained.

Anyway.

Spoke to my T about it, and he's sent through an email to try and rectify the situation but I'm not sure it'll be enough. Won't see the consultant again until Monday so I guess I'll see when/if that comes to any type of fruition. Think said consultant will push for a Tuesday discharge which I'm fairly certain we won't be ready for so that'll be... interesting.

I might do what you suggest and mouth Jacob's position. I can do it, it just feels... icky, is the only word I can use. Deceitful. Which is ironic, as obv I use the body's name all the time because 98% of people who know us don't know we have DID. But with Jacob I feel like it's somehow crossing a line. I'll try and talk to him about it - we're usually very close but he's been so all over the place recently it's hard to really communicate with him, he's so hell bent on dying he seems to have little space for anything else.

Thanks both for your support and thoughts, really appreciate it. Jen.
Em (25, f, host), Jen (19, f) Echo (4, f) Angel (9, f), Vivian (36, f), Jacob (13, m), Xavier (?, m), Oliver (?, m) SO Lex (f) may be mentioned.
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Re: Voluntary Section *possible trigger*

Postby Sarandipity » Sun May 05, 2019 8:15 am

My take on psychiatric hospital since a very bad experience about 20 years ago is this:

Do not say anything to any of the staff. Do not trust them with your brain, they don't know anything about it or how to help you. Say you're suicidal if you need to stay in but other than that say nothing.

I've been in hospital since that time 20years ago. When life got too much and my system failed me.

I use the time to rest, let parts work through what they're working through without talking to staff about it. And I take time out to rest, recuperate, reorganise my system and work out myself how to actually help which ever part is struggling.

I make my room nice. I put vases and flowers in it. I have a colourful blanket because those places can be very depressing decor wise. I make pictures and do colouring which is therapeutic in its self and I stick them to the walls, again because the decor is dull and depressing. I make sure they let me outside to the small garden, if they don't want to let me outside I remind them I have human rights and a prisoner is entitled to time outside, do I deserve to be treated worse than a prisoner? I sign up for the gym immediately and exercise everyday and I make sure that if I'm walking around the ward that they note I'm exercising - I am not agitated. I walk at the same time every day to be careful. I implement a hospital routine. I go to the ward meeting in the morning. I sign up for any activity. If they then feel like they can flake on that activity I remind them they're messing with people's heads who are already struggling. I spend the rest of my time quietly relaxing in my room or outside and I work out what went so wrong internally that I'm stuck in thar God forsaken place.

Personally if I had a suicidal alter I'd find out what was making them suicidal. I'd only let that alter talk to any professional. They can help that alter with their suicidal thoughts, they are not equipped or educated to deal with your whole system. I'd ask for therapy over medication but I'd take something mild if it was that bad I felt I couldn't survive without it or get out of there without taking something.

Sorry things have got so bad you're in hospital. Wishing Jacob gets the help he needs and you're overall more settled soon.
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Re: Voluntary Section *possible trigger*

Postby exul » Sun May 05, 2019 3:19 pm

Hello Jen,

We just wanted to tell you that we feel what you're going through and we're very sorry to hear that you feel like you're not being understood by people who should help you and support you in this. Unfortunately in our own experience we found out that the only way to really make a MH professional who acts like that aware of what's happening is to "be evident" about it and clearly say what you're feeling at the moment, and towards them. Like saying that even though you understand that they might not understand, but that you know that you need help and you're feeling like they're failing to help you in this. But I perfectly know that it's not easy at all to do, and so it wouldn't be our first suggestion.

Since it sounds like you can keep contact with your T and with other close people that know you are in this situation, my first thought would be to keep them well aware that you think some of you might put the body in danger. If you can, spend as much time as you can with somebody else (if they won't let you stay in the hospital), and have a backup plan for when you'll find yourself alone. I don't know if your therapist has already told you this (they usually do, so this might sound repetitive and we're sorry about that), but having numbers to call and having a constant presence with you might make you feel more in control and more secure.

In the meanwhile, I too would advise to talk with Jacob and have the system support him as much as you can. I know that you're probably very stressed and tired since you're trying to get though this, so you'll have to grit your teeth and help eachother until more hep comes from the outside.

We really hope we helped somehow, we're very sorry to hear that you're going through this. You all are very strong seeing how you're dealing with this. Our thoughts are with you.
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