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Why dont they talk to me

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Why dont they talk to me

Postby Dnester » Tue Apr 30, 2019 7:24 pm

I have been tryimg hard to give the chatter a chance to talk. Last night I could tell a child alter was out because the thoughts sounded kind of childlike. Like they were getting excited about things like a child would. I said you guys can talk to me about anything. They do not speak and whenever I try to communicate with them it just sounds like me putting thoughts in my head. I want them to communicate the way others here describe them communicating. This is the main reason I cant accept I have this disorder. Thorne has never spoken but I feel her emotions.
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Re: Why dont they talk to me

Postby TheGangsAllHere » Tue Apr 30, 2019 10:35 pm

Dnester wrote:They do not speak and whenever I try to communicate with them it just sounds like me putting thoughts in my head. I want them to communicate the way others here describe them communicating.


The way I, and several others on here, have described them communicating is EXACTLY LIKE THAT! It sounds like "me putting thoughts in my head." Why can't you accept the way they do communicate with you?

Those thoughts that sounded childlike--that was HOW that child was communicating. You say "they do not speak," and at the same time describe them speaking.

Why don't you talk to them about what they are already talking about? You can comment on the things that child was getting excited about, for example.

I find these posts so frustrating--I can only imagine how the parts must feel when they are talking to you and you keep saying, "you guys can talk to me about anything," but you don't actually listen to what they're saying.
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Re: Why dont they talk to me

Postby Dnester » Wed May 01, 2019 12:47 am

They do speak but they dont answer back like they are another part of me. For instance last night the chatter said something about a jacket I liked or something like that. (If I dont write it down I dont remember the next day)and the chatter also was like Jaaaacket! kind of childlike. When I say hey can you tell me about the jacket nothing was said then some other random chatter not related to that popped up. There have been times where they have answered me back but it feels like I am just making this stuff up in my head basically it doesnt seem like anyone else. I know its just me making stuff up because its things that arent true like its me Pippa when it could not have been Pippa. I feel like I just totally made up ages and no one told me ages. I also get very random thingd that pop in the chatter like I am President of the United States. That cant be coming from another part of me because that is not real. Im not trying to trigger people.
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Re: Why dont they talk to me

Postby Johnny-Jack » Wed May 01, 2019 2:08 am

I don't know, of course, but it's possible you're seeking an ideal that doesn't happen in your system.

Long back-and-forth internal conversations have never worked for us. Journaling back and forth works better, letting the body dissociate so that typing sort of comes from anyone. I don't really know how that worked and we don't do it nowadays but probably could.

A more effective method for us is for the person fronting to talk and ask a simple question then pause to listen to an answer from inside. We do this in therapy too. But asking a dozen complex questions in a row? I wish.

Long worded dialogues have never worked for us. The best communication has been from monologues, someone fronting and either speaking aloud back to everyone or someone fronting and journaling (the latter only works for those old enough to be comfortable writing or typing).

Whatever you hear or don't, try talking aloud to everyone and tell them what's happening, that you want to communicate but it doesn't seem to be working well so you're trying different things. Try to suspend any self-doubt whatever you try, as in relax. I've actually said "thank you for sharing, doubt."
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Re: Why dont they talk to me

Postby brockovich4321 » Wed May 01, 2019 10:10 pm

George says the adult has to meet the child on their level, not the kids meeting the adult on their level..

We have a little girl who never spoke, until someone figured out she could be triggered with a certain type of ice cream (basically we ate it, and became her momentarily, and had flashbacks of happy times which we are normally cut off from and we're able to bring the experience back into our memory and hold it)

Nightly after that we let her have that ice cream and be a kid (she liked to dance and draw so I set those activities up for her) Very quickly we gained her trust and she started sharing things with us.

Long story short, it turns out she actually CAN'T speak. She has a speech delay and stutter and she's very self-conscious about it so she's 'gone mute'

Verbal communication is hard for her so others are learning how to read her cues, met her needs and talk for her.
30yo female, formal Dx DID, aka 'me'..

The others: Steph, Emma, Rowe, Asile, Georgie, chels, becs, stac, TJ, Tots, Miche, May & Fae (MU, MB & OB)
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