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Can dissociation be pleasant?

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Can dissociation be pleasant?

Postby exul » Tue Apr 16, 2019 10:58 pm

This might be a stupid question, since I know that for definition, if dissociation becomes part of a clinical diagnosis it has to be a complaint, and therefore something not pleasant and probably dysfunctional.

But considering that I may still not know how dissociation works, since sometimes it can be very subtle and I really just brush it off as being something else, or I simply don't have the self-consciousness to recognise it readily enough, I wanted to know if somebody has ever experienced dissociation as a pleasant feeling?

Like, I never knew if I could call this depersonalization or derealization, but most of the times it feels like I'm under some sort of light drug, or like being tipsy. I would be maybe walking on the street, and (for example) feel like I see way more clearly than I normally see. Everything would seem strange, and images in my head overlap with reality (not like hallucinations, but it's like I just managed to turn my eyes around to look directly inside my head, and I would not understand if what I'm experiencing is reality or what I'm imagining). It's a very strange and alienating feeling (like I would feel connected to everything, but at the same time disconnected from the world and my life), but it's not at all unpleasant to me. It actually feels like I'm outside a world where I don't really want to be, so it's pretty relaxing. It can feel confusing sometimes, and my head might sort of spin, but it never causes panic or anxiety. Just neutral confusion.

(I don't take any medication, never used any drugs, and have no medical condition that could explain this stuff, so that's why I'm asking as if it's dissociation)
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Re: Can dissociation be pleasant?

Postby Floralie » Wed Apr 17, 2019 2:24 am

Yeah, I loved it as a teen. Sadly I didn't know what it was, so I couldn't believe it was really true, but that I just imagined I was on drugs.. It's weird how I was experiencing plenty of weird things, but just couldn't trust my experience to be true. At some point I even thought I have brain tumor because of that, but when I told about it to a doctor, I couldn't remember any symptoms, although I read a lot about symptoms of brain tumors and was convinced I had it. But then I forgot it all when tried to talk about it. And that's why I was very fascinated by drugs also, because I couldn't believe my experiences were true, but I wanted them to be because I loved I was able to go away from reality. So I started self-medicating.. wanted to go deeper in my mind, away from real things, was interested in meditation and yoga as ways to get in touch with the subconscious and feeling like I was on acid trip. That is still the way yoga and mindfulness affects to me, they get me under self hypnosis, not closer to reality.

I was maybe something between ages of 9 and 12, when it started so clearly I started to pay attention something weird happens to me. And at first it was weird and scary, I couldn't tell when I was sleeping and when awake. Tried to talk about it to my sister, but she didn't understand what I meant. And I felt I'm just so far away from other kids, so different, my reality is different from theirs, because of all inner stuff no one understood. But at some point it changed, and I wanted to be weird and different and in my head and "do drugs" by dissociating or by self medicating.. And at some point I also tried meds that caused hallucinations. I've never done any illegal drugs, not even cannabis, but I used medicines with opioids in them, and dissociatives and hallucinogens. But all legal, prescription free stuff. I would've wanted to do "real" drugs, but I was too lost in my mind, and I didn't want to be friends with those kids who would've known where to get them. I wasn't like them, they were loud and troubled way too different way from how I was like, they were more like my parents, and I was just walking dissociation.

I don't remember if I had symptoms before having those feelings like living in a dream and if I had, how they felt. But as a teen I did love it. Well, I remember having out of body experiences at school and at school I also realized the problem about not knowing the difference between dream and reality. But I don't think it was only school where symptoms happened, maybe they felt normal at home, and that's why I only realized them when they started to be out of place? I can't be sure tho.

Lucas managed to lost himself into a hypnotic kind of state few times accidentally, and didn't really feel like wanting to wake up from it. I was co-conscious and it felt really good. And Lucas doesn't like feeling drugged at all, it's a trigger to him.. but in that hypnotic or dissociative state he was happy to be in. And he was worried to come out of it. He was scared if him felling in it made him too vulnerable, and someone is gonna abuse him because of it, and he wanted to stay in that state of mind where he couldn't care less. He was worried to come back, that what if he comes and then gets abused, because he was in so vulnerable state, but when abuse starts he's not in safe place anymore and he needs to regret coming out of it. It felt safe to him to be where he can not be hurt, because nothing is true so it doesn't matter.
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Re: Can dissociation be pleasant?

Postby vix » Wed Apr 17, 2019 7:19 pm

I love dissociation! I know saying it like that doesn't sound entirely healthy but I can't help it. My life is very very stressful and I'm very happy that I don't have to remember it all or sometimes I feel much better than I'm supposed to at that moment.

My experience is a bit different because when I dissociate I just feel like there's a certain distance between me and the reality, and then afterwards I don't remember what happened. Also as per our system works, people front through me and Lee and Lisa are usually my favourite to cofront with since they are the most positive and funny parts. Especially with Lisa I usually feel much lighter and away from real world stress, not even able to care about things. So it's fun.

I don't lose time at all, I'm stuck in front but I would really like to lose time sometimes. I ask people to just kick me off front sometimes or pull the plug but it just doesn't work, I just end up dissociating a bit more lol
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Re: Can dissociation be pleasant?

Postby VioletFlux » Thu Apr 18, 2019 10:45 am

I think different 'kinds' of dissociation can be pleasant, but it all really depends on a lot of things.

Last night Violet was fronting but a few of us were coconsious with her. And at one point she had a sudden wave of depersonalization and derealization, and she said, "Woah did you all feel that? The edible just kicked in." (referring to a cannabis product.)

And I reminded her, "We didn't take any edibles. You're just dissociating." And then for the next two hours she was basically just sort of floating around (but still hosting) and feeling high, while Melissa and I were using the body through her.

It's not always a good feeling, but it seems that sometimes it is.

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Re: Can dissociation be pleasant?

Postby exul » Sat Apr 20, 2019 9:27 am

VioletFlux wrote:Last night Violet was fronting but a few of us were coconsious with her. And at one point she had a sudden wave of depersonalization and derealization, and she said, "Woah did you all feel that? The edible just kicked in." (referring to a cannabis product.)


I feel this. I never actually smoked, but the feeling I get is similar to when I'm tipsy. That's why I find it very pleasant most of the time, if I'm not doing something important that can be impeired by it.

vix wrote:I love dissociation! I know saying it like that doesn't sound entirely healthy but I can't help it. My life is very very stressful and I'm very happy that I don't have to remember it all or sometimes I feel much better than I'm supposed to at that moment. [...]

I don't lose time at all, I'm stuck in front but I would really like to lose time sometimes. I ask people to just kick me off front sometimes or pull the plug but it just doesn't work, I just end up dissociating a bit more lol


Same here! I also almost never lose time, but sometimes I would really like to. Evene because it can be stressful to observe everything that happens when you don't feel in control of your own body. Tried telling them to fully switch, but like you said, ended up feeling even less "there" but still remembering and observing everything.
And yes, those waves of dissociation also help me with "handling" strong emotions. Not very good tho, I think.
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Re: Can dissociation be pleasant?

Postby subversiverisks » Sun Apr 21, 2019 6:48 am

Here u are making someone else sitaution more important than ur own! To make the dad the abuser end ur dissociation from his self loathing stance is the most irresponsible stupid conundrum that u put someone is very dumb and just from a point nothing else to do! Is like the equalivalent of hating still hating !!! What the ###$ is wrong dissociation is the most wonderful life saving thing ever! Is artisty in motion it mind numbing and needed! DON'T EVER FORGET IT!!! ITS A BLESSING
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