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Body name

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Body name

Postby fireheart » Fri Apr 12, 2019 6:22 pm

I have a new T, and she is very confused that there is no part with the body name.
She said something about how that would be the original and/or the host... but... I don't think I have an "original" and we've always changed hosts. There is no part with the body name.

We see it as sort of like an undercover name. Like the FBI helped us to move and this is our new given name, and no one should find out our actual names (the names of the parts).

How can we explain this to the T?
I want her to call me, the main fronting part, by my name when she refers specifically to me. I told her my name, and then the next session she said she is going to call me <body name> because that is how she got to know me.... ??? :(

I'm a bit triggered because I feel like she didn't listen to me and didn't take it into account. A protector part sent her an email asking to please call me by my name, not anything else.
And she replied: "I don't know what to do with this."
We'll discuss it next session, but in the meantime...
I'm trying to think of ways I could explain.

Any tips are welcome.
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Re: Body name

Postby birdsong87 » Fri Apr 12, 2019 6:32 pm

we think Ts who think in terms of 'original' are not up to date with DID knowledge. How old is she? :roll:
try to explain it in person again. if she refuses to use your name she should give you a pretty good explanation why.
Asti&Annett
Dx: DID cPTSD
L (host 1); Asti (host 2); Annett (teen protector); Maya (child); Age (observer); Thamara (child); Danielle (aut. teen); Mike (caregiver) and others
our blog on resources: https://www.dis-sos.com
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Re: Body name

Postby fireheart » Fri Apr 12, 2019 6:37 pm

Hah. She is in her seventies.
I told her about the theory of structural dissociation (although I did not mention the name of the theory specifically) - I hope she knows about it. :?

But also, it seems like a normal human decency thing to call someone by their chosen name? I think she is willing to call the other parts by their names, so I don't get it.
Maybe there is an explanation.
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Re: Body name

Postby MakersDozn » Fri Apr 12, 2019 6:42 pm

Our T is 79 and she's always called us by our preferred name(s).

MDs
Multiple. Self-dxed 1996. Body 57f, no host or original. System of 47: 42 females, five males; 17 littles (7+under), nine middles (8-11), 14 teens (12-17+), five bigs (18+older), + a formless yin/yang duo. Oldest member is 25.

Frequent: Charity (25), Mary (23), Laura (17.5), Allegra (17), Cass (17)
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Re: Body name

Postby birdsong87 » Fri Apr 12, 2019 6:47 pm

it used to be practice to force patients to 'see themselves as one person'
only talk about themselves in singluar form and only be called by their given name.
if that is this Ts approach it is terribly terribly outdated.
try to figure it out in conversation. Some people are just bad with emails. especially older ones or those who are best in person...
A&A
Dx: DID cPTSD
L (host 1); Asti (host 2); Annett (teen protector); Maya (child); Age (observer); Thamara (child); Danielle (aut. teen); Mike (caregiver) and others
our blog on resources: https://www.dis-sos.com
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Re: Body name

Postby fireheart » Fri Apr 12, 2019 7:05 pm

Yes, I'll try to figure it out.

She also said last time that she wants parts to ask my permission and then her permission to come to therapy? Somehow that is really scary, too. (Feels intrusive for some reason? Like, let the system do their work? I think everyone would be way too scared to make themselves explicitly known and to hear a possible no). Sigh. Always hard to work with a new person.

@MDs, I'm really glad to hear that!
I also think it may be because my name is more of a "function" than a normal name. But it is still my name and the only one that seems to fit. :?
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Re: Body name

Postby Ponyta » Fri Apr 12, 2019 7:20 pm

fireheart wrote:She also said last time that she wants parts to ask my permission and then her permission to come to therapy? Somehow that is really scary, too. (Feels intrusive for some reason? Like, let the system do their work? I think everyone would be way too scared to make themselves explicitly known and to hear a possible no). Sigh. Always hard to work with a new person.

I'm sorry- but that makes me and the other protectors very angry. She doesn't sound any good to us. It doesn't sound like she specializes in DID. Or if she does- she's not good at it. If our therapist told us that then there would be problems. We should not need permission to come or to speak. Our therapist doesn't have any problem with it. In fact- she welcomes us to speak. Plus it's very disrespectful to not call you by your preferred name. That's just not right.

I'm sorry y'all have to deal with that. If it was us- if she's not willing to change- we would find someone else. Someone who will respect y'all.
Body:(Female-28)

There are A LOT of us (Over 70.....due to that)......we're updating our signature to reflect those who might post.

Protectors:
Weirdo (Male), Wolverine (Male), Blaze (Male), Brian (Male),Shadow (Male)

Others:
Bandit (M), Matt (M),Mary (F), Blue (F), Gloom (F), Rage (F).....
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Re: Body name

Postby vix » Fri Apr 12, 2019 7:47 pm

Tbh we don't think she's up to date and specialising in DID either. Our therapist has never referred to me with the body name, and especially not since I realised which part I am. And actually the only person who refers to us with body name there is the secretary. Our T has never called any of us with the body name.

Body name for us is just our collective name sort of? Like we do have a system name for us but body name is sort of like, regardless of who is fronting they won't be offended being called with the body's name. If someone is out but a specific alter name is used, then they might get upset. Body name is just. People see this body outside and that's what they refer to it. It's like sharing a shirt with multiple people, you'll still call it "the red shirt" regardless of who's wearing it.

We think it might be better for you if you change therapists (if you're able to) or at least ask them to read on it?
dx: DID, ADHD, depression, anxiety, bulimia

system of 21
Mia [host] 25
Lee [caretaker] 29
Caroline [caretaker] 24
Andy [protector] 19
Lisa 7
Simon 5
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Re: Body name

Postby MakersDozn » Fri Apr 12, 2019 8:40 pm

fireheart wrote:Yes, I'll try to figure it out.

She also said last time that she wants parts to ask my permission and then her permission to come to therapy? Somehow that is really scary, too. (Feels intrusive for some reason? Like, let the system do their work? I think everyone would be way too scared to make themselves explicitly known and to hear a possible no). Sigh. Always hard to work with a new person.


Oh, FFS....Sorry, but she's being ridiculous. Not to mention that she's implying that you (the one in front) are somehow more important than the others.

Like you said, she should let the system do its work. She doesn't get to decide which of you come to therapy. You (plural) make that decision.

Laura and others
Multiple. Self-dxed 1996. Body 57f, no host or original. System of 47: 42 females, five males; 17 littles (7+under), nine middles (8-11), 14 teens (12-17+), five bigs (18+older), + a formless yin/yang duo. Oldest member is 25.

Frequent: Charity (25), Mary (23), Laura (17.5), Allegra (17), Cass (17)
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Re: Body name

Postby birdsong87 » Fri Apr 12, 2019 10:24 pm

when she agreed to work with you she agreed to work with all of you.
how much of an extra permission does it need.
we would probably have left the room if she had said that to our face. and not to return with a special application to be allowed to speak
:evil:
Dx: DID cPTSD
L (host 1); Asti (host 2); Annett (teen protector); Maya (child); Age (observer); Thamara (child); Danielle (aut. teen); Mike (caregiver) and others
our blog on resources: https://www.dis-sos.com
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