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Parts outing only for few minutes

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Parts outing only for few minutes

Postby Floralie » Sat Jan 12, 2019 7:02 pm

Does anyone else have it like we do now? Parts come and go, but mostly they are here only for a couple of minutes and then they'll be gone again. I can't tell for sure if they sometimes hang out somewhere near for longer period of time, maybe they do, but they seem to come to the body with me only to visit very briefly.

I'm thinking what is it about, what's the point. Or is it their way of being polite, to come for a moment so I know they are close, although I can't feel them after that. I don't know what do they do afterwards, did they just came to see what's going on?

It's like maybe twice a week Sami or Fourteen comes. Fourteen can come to a longer time as well, but doesn't always. Sami hasn't really been here more than few minutes, sometimes less than a minute. I know they are aware of plenty more stuff that's going on, than just about the time they visited, so it can be they hang where I can't feel them if not looking on purpose.

There are few longer visits, but they I have felt like I would be someone else, but don't know for sure who. A teen who only wants to sleep. That teen was here one day few weeks ago and slept the whole day, and this week the teen came to sleep for two days.

How much your parts have fronting time? Do you have parts who front more depending if it's summertime or winter? Or do you have different tasks for different parts in everyday life?

When you co-front, is it clear for you how you move, or does it feel like you'd be pushing and pulling same bodyparts at the same time?
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Re: Parts outing only for few minutes

Postby raptureblues » Sun Jan 13, 2019 6:54 am

parts only being out for a short time used to be how things worked for us. under our "old set-up", the others could only slip out for a little while before having to go back in because fronting was something they weren't allowed to do. lain and charles had established our old set-up back when we lived with our abusers.

Floralie wrote:I'm thinking what is it about, what's the point. Or is it their way of being polite, to come for a moment so I know they are close, although I can't feel them after that. I don't know what do they do afterwards, did they just came to see what's going on?


it could be they're just poking their head out. i get that even now with the others, where they'll be near to the front and speak with me and generally observe what's going on at the front before going back inside. i don't know how much they're aware of when they're not close to the front like that. it could also be accidental, i know sometimes the others don't realise they're that close to the front and are just as surprised as me that they were out at all.

Floralie wrote:How much your parts have fronting time? Do you have parts who front more depending if it's summertime or winter? Or do you have different tasks for different parts in everyday life?


before we agreed to a different set-up, the longest a part could front was an hour or two at best. i would have very little awareness of their presence and switches were sudden and random. "big switches", if that makes sense, happened pretty sporadically (once a month if that), and "little switches" would happen more often, but i had so little awareness of it that i'd often not realise these things happened, or i'd just think i acted weirdly because it was too subtle for me to figure out the truth. the others were taking what they could get, basically.

we had a discussion at the start of this year about having a new set-up, because the old set-up didn't work anymore. the old set-up meant i fronted 99% of the time, and i wasn't managing to function at all. not eating, not sleeping, no energy, fatigued to an extreme degree both physically and mentally. i would dissociate constantly and to a severe degree.

our new set-up has changed things quite a bit. we switch a lot more, and the others have been out for a maximum of 5-6 hours currently. we decided to split tasks between us to see if it's improved overall functioning and it has, a lot actually. we still deal with fatigue because of physical health problems, but it's nowhere near as bad as it was before.

i normally wake up and make breakfast and/or lunch, jones has some time in the early/mid afternoon and he usually handles showers, i briefly take over again to hand over to charles, who cleans a little and makes dinner, then either me or lain will eat dinner (charles doesn't like eating) and will put the body to bed. it doesn't always work in that exact way, but that's the rhythm we've fallen into. currently, the only time where it's notably different are when we're menstruating. jones finds it immensely dysphoric and can't front at all while we're dealing with that, so we cover for him until he can handle fronting again.

i wasn't sure we'd even be able to change things, especially that dramatically, but lain can influence that kind of thing quite a bit, so after lain and charles agreed to at least try a different set-up, it was pretty instant. neither of them have quite settled into this new set-up though, so we'll still get moments where lain will suddenly lock everyone out, usually because they panicked over something. we've been trying to learn to do co-con more and generally be more aware of each other, and that's happening a lot more slowly. i barely remember what's happening in my day-to-day anymore because of the switches (though my memory was pretty poor before this too because i was dissociating so often), so we try and keep a log of switches so i have something to look back on.

Floralie wrote:When you co-front, is it clear for you how you move, or does it feel like you'd be pushing and pulling same bodyparts at the same time?


it's a little hard to tell. i think it's more that we'll keep changing body language styles, if that makes sense. we all have particular quirks to our body language that are different to each other (which we realised in part ourselves and mostly through people like our therapist and my partner). we also have different outside voices. so in co-fronts with jones, for example, i'll find the body will keep moving to sit in the way he sits, and i'll find my hand keeps running through my hair in a particular way, which is a particular quirk of his, and the outside voice will occasionally sound like him and jones would be talking as himself (so referring to me in the third person, much lower voice, different speech pattern).

hope all that rambling is useful somehow.

- alice
alice (18~23, she/her), jones (14~23, he/him), lain (9~14, they/them), charles (~30, he/him), bubbles (<9, she/her), rose (~12, she/her), werne (~12, he/him)

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