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Alter Won't Follow Meal Plan

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Alter Won't Follow Meal Plan

Postby Skaya » Tue Jan 08, 2019 7:14 pm

Hiya,

So I'm struggling with different alters wanting different things. Jen and I front the most and do quite well with it, we've found a compromise, which is a meal plan box that has sufficient meals and snacks to keep Jen full while still helping us lose weight. We are overweight, and we have a 15-year history of bulimia to contend with on mine/Jen's parts so it's a really difficult issue.

However.

It's been a week, no weight loss. I'm freaking about the programme (separate issue) but discovered that certain parties, notably Jacob, has been eating things outside the programme and it's potentially why there's no weight loss. Jacob is not very communicative at the best of times and I didn't even fully realise he's been buying food/fronting enough to manage that. I don't know how to talk to him about the need to lose weight; he hates the body as much as the rest of us but that's more gender dysphoria than weight concerns.

Any ideas?
Em (25, f, host), Jen (19, f) Echo (4) Angel (9), Vivian (36, f), Jacob (13,m). SO Lex (f) may be mentioned.
Skaya
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Re: Alter Won't Follow Meal Plan

Postby VioletFlux » Tue Jan 08, 2019 7:30 pm

We've been struggling with this sort of problem for nearly a year. :?

I don't know what to suggest with a part who isn't as communicative. We've been working on making some deals and stuff, and trying to find non-food alternatives so noone feels like they're being denied or left-out.

Is Jacob noncommunicative with everybody? Or just yourself? I'm wondering if you could have another part act as a mediator or whatever, to try and help you and he to talk or whatever.

Or if you have an internal helper who can talk on his behalf, like if there's other things he wants, or if the food is satisfying something for him other than hunger.

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Re: Alter Won't Follow Meal Plan

Postby birdsong87 » Wed Jan 09, 2019 6:28 am

I guess it would help to notice the reasons for eating outside the plan.
disagreeing with weight loss? disliking the kind of food? wanting more freedom to choose? being scared of something? not having noticed that you are trying to follow a plan?

we do meal plan, but we are also flexible about it, because different days come with different needs and sometimes it is better to make changes.
also, a week is no time at all when it comes to weight loss!! you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself here. the healthy way to lose fat is slow and steady. we were adviced not to lose more than a pound a week. especially if you are careful not to slip back into ED thinking you need to take it slow.
weight is actually not a very good indicator of what is going on with the body.
if you do workouts you will grow muscle mass. muscle weights more than fat. it might mean that you are actually gaining weight because you grow as much muscles as you lose fat. that doesn't mean you are not losing fat! it just means that the scale SUCKS at telling you what is really going on in your body
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Re: Alter Won't Follow Meal Plan

Postby KawaiiKitty » Wed Jan 09, 2019 6:45 am

We have this problem alllll the time - we're on Drew Baird's PCOS diet plan
Not everyone chooses to follow it
J
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Re: Alter Won't Follow Meal Plan

Postby Skaya » Sun Jan 13, 2019 10:10 am

Thank you guys for your replies <3

VioletFlux wrote:Is Jacob noncommunicative with everybody? Or just yourself? I'm wondering if you could have another part act as a mediator or whatever, to try and help you and he to talk or whatever.


Well, he and Jen get on reasonably well as they're both teenagers and both have rebellious streak, but even within those parameters he's very abrupt. Doesn't like fronting, otherwise I'd ask Lex to help in conveying messages. Vivian may also be able to help, so I'll ask her.

Also, sorry you're also struggling with this, although in a way it's comforting to know I'm not alone in tackling this kind of issue!

birdsong87 wrote:I guess it would help to notice the reasons for eating outside the plan.
disagreeing with weight loss? disliking the kind of food? wanting more freedom to choose? being scared of something? not having noticed that you are trying to follow a plan?

we do meal plan, but we are also flexible about it, because different days come with different needs and sometimes it is better to make changes.
also, a week is no time at all when it comes to weight loss!! you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself here. the healthy way to lose fat is slow and steady. we were adviced not to lose more than a pound a week. especially if you are careful not to slip back into ED thinking you need to take it slow.


I completely agree, esp about muscle/how it weighs more than fat - and that rationality is dying a death in the face of blind panic and eating disorder >.< I like your idea of intentionally trying to keep flexibility, but I'm on the Asperger's spectrum and find it very challenging to not have a very rigid meal plan, so it's hard to find a balance that suits everybody present.

KawaiiKitty wrote:We have this problem alllll the time - we're on Drew Baird's PCOS diet plan
Not everyone chooses to follow it
J


Sorry to hear that J, how do you tend to try and manage it?

Thanks everybody again :) much appreciated!
Em (25, f, host), Jen (19, f) Echo (4) Angel (9), Vivian (36, f), Jacob (13,m). SO Lex (f) may be mentioned.
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