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Friend thinks he may have DID

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Friend thinks he may have DID

Postby Exploring » Sun Jan 06, 2019 11:51 pm

A friend of mine is looking into wether he might have DID. He has another friend who has recently discovered they're part of a system and my t and I've been looking into parts (of whatever nature) as well. Now he has started losing time. I'm not in a position to know if he does or doesn't have DID, but I find it very confusing and overwhelming to deal with that he's suddenly dealing with this so soon after it's come up for me. I'm aware hearing about something from someone else can make you aware of similar experiences of your own. But I am so in over my head with just my own stuff to make sense of that I feel intensely resistent to his process. While I know it's possible for both of us to deal with a similar issue at the same time, I think I feel like this is disrupting or somehow taking away from my experiences. I'm already doubting myself so much without someone else stepping in and telling me about their stuff. I think it also bothers me that I usually try to be lowkey about the possibility of having parts so as to keep an open mind and not say something that ends up being false and he's out here suspecting having DID, having done almost not research, after what initially were two instances of timeloss and just. I want to be supportive! He's been supportive towards me! I'm sure he'd be ok with me letting him know that I can't help atm, but the feeling that I should be able to gnaws at me. :/ He'll occasionally text me updates and I understand that it's on his mind and he wants to share but I don't know what to do with it if he tells me he's lost time completely out of context or something.

Anyone have any advice on how to deal with this? Nt so much in how to approach him but how I can not let it affect me so much. Have any of you been in similar situations before?
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Re: Friend thinks he may have DID

Postby BeccaBee » Thu Jan 10, 2019 11:17 pm

hmmnnnnn.......that's a tough one. I don't. but maybe a bump on your thread will help.
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Re: Friend thinks he may have DID

Postby Dwelt » Fri Jan 11, 2019 10:37 am

I kind of get the feeling.
When I first though about DID then finally accepted the idea after months of denial, one of my friend met a guy on the Internet, with a system way more dissociated than us. She invited him in our Skype group, and I felt uncomfortable for a long while. He had full switches while we were co-conscious and co-present without any warning, things were unstable for both of us at the same time.
And I felt guilty for feeling uncomfortable, because he was a nice guy, very sensitive and caring for the others. I didn't want to bother him with my issue, I was afraid of making him feel guilty, so I never told him the entire truth, just enough to make him understand why I could behave weirdly sometimes.
Those negative feelings stopped after a while, when we became more stable and built some cooperation inside our system, and I was able to totally enjoy his company and his alters.

Aside of that, after few months of dating, my (now ex) girlfriend started to look into DID for herself. She was thinking about that because of one or two depersonalization times, and because of a meditation where she met "someone".
She never made any researches as she was waiting for me to educate her about DID, so she was asking me tone of questions and it was stressful for me to answer when I was dealing with it too.
I finally told her that I couldn't answer to everything and gave her the link of this forum and few other resources I had. She never really looked at it and finally found it too hard to investigate and forgot about it.

There's also one of my friend who discovered her system two years or so after the first guy joined us. The discovering was huge for her, and she couldn't handle to be in touch with two other multiples with their own issues that looked like hers. Her system was triggered by ours, and finally she told us she couldn't handle it anymore, it wasn't against us, but she was too unstable to be able to talk with us.
It was sad, but we understood why she did that, and she's welcome if she wants to come back one day.

All of this to say, I don't think you can be unaffected by this. It's up to you to see if you can handle it safely. If you can't, you don't have to feel bad about that and no one can blame you for that. No one have the same resources and abilities. Just talk about it with your friend.
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Re: Friend thinks he may have DID

Postby subversiverisks » Sun Jan 13, 2019 7:41 pm

Actually, it is a god send to have friend link up with you on the journey even if in different phase.....
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Re: Friend thinks he may have DID

Postby Exploring » Wed Jan 16, 2019 5:27 pm

Thanks for bumping, BeccaBee! :)

Dwelt wrote:All of this to say, I don't think you can be unaffected by this. It's up to you to see if you can handle it safely. If you can't, you don't have to feel bad about that and no one can blame you for that. No one have the same resources and abilities. Just talk about it with your friend.


Thank you! Your reply was really helpful in that it made me feel more validated in how I felt. I relate to the situations you've described too. I'm sorry about your ex though, that must of been super stressful and exhausting to respond to!
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