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Memories

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Memories

Postby Exploring » Wed Jan 02, 2019 10:48 pm

How can I tell if there's a chance something actually happened vs. it being just a random thought / something influenced by outside factors like media etc.?

I had one scenario come up that, while possible, I don't know when it would have happened / in what context and especially who would have done such a thing to me. I can no longer access the 'memory' and can no longer recall any sensory information of it. I 'lived through it' once as it came back and any details disappeared while I was still writing about it. What details I do remember - even if I can't access them - don't seem to fit with anything I know about my life though.

Then sometime ago, I came across a topic on the internet. What I came across was unsettling, but I found myself thinking That happened to me too in this matter-of-fact way. Which startled / surprised me. I've always had a vague feeling of something similar happening to me. However, I never gave it much weight. As with the other scenario, there is no way this would fit anywhere in my timeline. The other one I can see happening without anyone noticing, and the way I react to certain related stimuli would at least support it in some way even if I have no other way of verifying it. With this one though, someone would have had to notice, and as far as I'm aware it was never discussed. Although many things that should have been noticed and discussed weren't by my caregivers, this seems too unlikely even for my mother to be ignorant of.

There's other, less 'out there' (but still bizarre to me) ones.
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Re: Memories

Postby TheGangsAllHere » Thu Jan 03, 2019 2:26 am

Exploring wrote:How can I tell if there's a chance something actually happened vs. it being just a random thought / something influenced by outside factors like media etc.?


I think it's felt to be more likely that something actually happened if you have intense feelings or body sensations associated with it. Or like you said, the way you react to certain triggers.

I'm not sure there's a benefit to focusing on trying to verify what actually happened. If a part thinks that it happened, and is reacting to that "memory," then you'll have to deal with the effects of it.
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Re: Memories

Postby Sarandipity » Thu Jan 03, 2019 7:12 pm

I agree with Gang. Body memory. If you're unsure if it happened or not go with "it was real for that part" "happened to that part" and support them as such whilst also somehow staying rational, if you really believe it's a false memory, to "it's not real" It's very difficult.

When dealing with outside toxic people it's necessary to look like you believe their lies whilst at same time remembering they're lieing. It's sort of like that but more in a caring way than a defense way.

I'd work with "it's true" and then if its turns out to be untrue that's great but if it is true then you're already working through it.
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