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A part has bonded with my son

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A part has bonded with my son

Postby ItsJustUs » Sun Dec 23, 2018 10:16 pm

Val usually hates most people and keeps to her self, really only interacting with my husband. Recently she was out and my oldest son recognized that it was none of the parts he's familiar with. He started asking her questions, and she was annoyed, so she went back in. The mb ext time she was out she actually interacted with him more, and now they seen to be friends.

I'm not complaining, and I'm not worried about it. It's just kind of odd. When I ask her why, she just shrugs her shoulders and doesn't have an answer.

For the record, he's 13 and while I would have kept the DID from him, one of the others told him


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Kitten 39F-Core, Delilah (age unknown)F- Protector/System Manager/Care Taker, Britney 17F- Former persecutor turned protector, Lilly 5.5F, Little Wolf (young, but age unknown) "job" unknown, Val- age unknown, Female entity, we think she is a protector
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Re: A part has bonded with my son

Postby TheGangsAllHere » Mon Dec 24, 2018 12:20 am

My kids are all young adults, and even though one still lives at home, he's busy with his own life. I've been struggling with how/when/if to tell them (I have three kids), especially since the middle one is back for the holidays.

I guess it's different if you have younger kids that are around all the time--It seems like I would have had to tell them if I had discovered parts back then. Or, I guess a part might have told them, like what happened with you.

I definitely have a part or parts that really want to be out to my middle child, but I think it's because she's very maternal and good with kids, and they want her to be like a mommy and to play with them, which doesn't seem like a very healthy motivation.

I don't really have to tell them--I'm not any different than I've always been, as far as they're concerned.

Anyway, I'm always curious about how people's kids handle the knowledge and how they interact with different parts.
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Re: A part has bonded with my son

Postby SOHank » Mon Dec 24, 2018 3:43 am

I'm glad Val is making friends! :D

I'm interested in hearing more about how people's kids handle it as well. SF and I have discussed talking with them. We don't want as SF is afraid it will get back to her parents and nothing good would come of that. :( At the same time, they are smart and the oldest (9) has asked things like, "Who is AJ?" So far, we just say "mommy's friend".

Emma does enjoy getting to play with them and watch cartoons, but Lou is mostly to afraid unless I'm there to. They just think "mommy is pretending". 8)
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Re: A part has bonded with my son

Postby ItsJustUs » Mon Dec 24, 2018 5:06 pm

I don't know the circumstances under which my children met my others. But the younger three know Lilly and Delilah, and the oldest also knows Val and Britney. None of them know Kiyiya/Little Wolf. .y youngest loves Lilly and they interact when she's out. The older two pretend they don't recognize her because it makes her nervous when they see her, for some reason.

My children were also told that this is something that is no one else's business and it stays in the family. They know that if something happens with an alter that worries them or makes them uncomfortable they can tell me or my husband and it will be dealt with. Fortunately that's never happened. Delilah is very strict but maternal and loves them the way an aunt would. Britney is like a bug sister who almost always acts annoyed with them, but cares and is in and basically acts like a sister. Val...she's different. She used to not really care about them, but made sure they were supervised and needs met because she understood caring for them is important, she just didnt have the emotional capacity to care beyond "I know this is what is correct and acceptable." And Lilly, well she's 5.5 so... yeah.

My husband and I have decided if a kid slips up and talks about the others outside, we will just say "Oh, those are our pretend characters for playing make-believe."
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Kitten 39F-Core, Delilah (age unknown)F- Protector/System Manager/Care Taker, Britney 17F- Former persecutor turned protector, Lilly 5.5F, Little Wolf (young, but age unknown) "job" unknown, Val- age unknown, Female entity, we think she is a protector
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Re: A part has bonded with my son

Postby TheGangsAllHere » Mon Dec 24, 2018 5:42 pm

ItsJustUs wrote:youngest loves Lilly and they interact when she's out. The older two pretend they don't recognize her because it makes her nervous when they see her, for some reason.


I think it would be frightening for kids to see their mom "turned into" a child younger than they are. Isn't it like having their mom disappear? Have you asked them why it makes them nervous to see her? This is the kind of thing I'm worried about for my kids, even though they are older.
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Re: A part has bonded with my son

Postby Jolly jo » Mon Dec 24, 2018 7:14 pm

I would urge caution.
Diagnosed DID with a few other states.
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Re: A part has bonded with my son

Postby ItsJustUs » Mon Dec 24, 2018 10:12 pm

TheGangsAllHere wrote:
ItsJustUs wrote:youngest loves Lilly and they interact when she's out. The older two pretend they don't recognize her because it makes her nervous when they see her, for some reason.


I think it would be frightening for kids to see their mom "turned into" a child younger than they are. Isn't it like having their mom disappear? Have you asked them why it makes them nervous to see her? This is the kind of thing I'm worried about for my kids, even though they are older.


You misunderstood. Lilly does not make my children nervous. My children make Lilly nervous.

And also, Lilly is never out unsupervised with the children. My husband is there, or Delilah keeps a close watch and forces a switch (Lilly going in and Delilah fronting) if a situation is questionable.

Until they knew about Lilly, if she was out the youngest child just thought I was playing with her, and the older two thought it was cute seeing "mom" play like a child with their little sister.

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Kitten 39F-Core, Delilah (age unknown)F- Protector/System Manager/Care Taker, Britney 17F- Former persecutor turned protector, Lilly 5.5F, Little Wolf (young, but age unknown) "job" unknown, Val- age unknown, Female entity, we think she is a protector
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Re: A part has bonded with my son

Postby TheGangsAllHere » Mon Dec 24, 2018 10:40 pm

You're right--I totally read that wrong. Sorry.

I'm glad your kids are so accepting.

I just don't want to burden my kids with my issues, or have my needs supersede theirs in any way.

I also don't want to make it be a big deal--like to have some big family meeting where my husband and I tell them--I don't want them to worry about me.

I also don't want to affect their relationship with their grandpa (they don't have a relationship with my mother, for the most part).

It's possible that these worries are unfounded--I don't know. But it does come back to how/if it would help them to know, and if it wouldn't, then I don't think I should tell them.
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