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I have a Jane

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I have a Jane

Postby Sarandipity » Sat Dec 22, 2018 4:38 pm

So I was writing about memory in the "Liar" post and reading replies and thinking "I can't remember everything" and an internal voice said "I can" Usually this type of comment I call "ego" If I here what I call an exagerative statement that seems big headed I call it my ego.

This time I said (inside my head) - "that's just ego talking" and then I thought "um is it" and the other internal voice replied "Jane"

On the one hand it's annoying to have another "part" - sorry Jane, not personal - but on the other hand not a shock. I sort of knew about Jane because if there's a name I'm drawn to but not keen on it usually is a part name. I have this image of the name Jane as organised, know it all but quiet type which kind of tells me it's an internal or part name but she's never really announced herself or wanted to communicate as in clearly "hi it's Jane..."

My memory is very strange. I don't know how to explain it but I'll try: on the one hand it's terrible but give me a few moments and I remember the most crucial piece of info to whatever is going on around me at the time - if I ask. So I think Jane is keeping notes (figuratively speaking because we tried jounalling but we didn't like it, it caused upset and confusion and parts talking to eachother via written word was slow and annoying and we thought unnecessary for us, they don't really want to talk to eachother).

We asked Jane a couple of questions, can't remember what they were now lol, things like who does this or that for example, while we had her so to speak and I'm glad to know about Jane because if she is a memory bank or keeping log it's good to be able to call on her by name.

Anyway I wondered if you guys would feel an affiliation to a name, kind of stereotype the name with characteristics, and then discover its a part?
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Re: I have a Jane

Postby IainEtc » Sun Dec 23, 2018 12:48 pm

Hi Jane!

Hi Sarandipity,

For a long time if Host heard someone say "Iain" he'd feel like they were calling him but then not really because his name isn't Iain. He kind of knew it was something but didn't know what. It was confusing him.

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Re: I have a Jane

Postby Exploring » Sun Dec 23, 2018 8:58 pm

This is so interesting to me because I was talking with my therapist about this! Sometimes names will pop into my mind and I asked where the difference was between just randomly thinking about a name and having it mean something. For example, shortly after things started happening and trauma started coming into focus a few months ago, there was an occurrence during which I felt as if someone was there with me, and then stepping in to take away my knowlege. As I wrote about it in my journal, a name inserted itself into my thoughts. I recently had another pop up, although I can't remember the circumstances now. It had that feel to it too, like the mental equivalent of being gently nudged. It was also not a name I would pick myself, which was helpful because that way I couldn't slip into "ahh, what if I'm making it all up" mode because if I were I'd pick names I like (no offense, J!). I'm still wondering what the difference would be between just thinking of a name and that name actually having relevance as far as parts or whatever are concerned tho.

I mentioned in my introduction thread that I don't feel like I have a name, but I will sometimes feel a connection with other names than the given name, and the feeling of connecting with the names will come and go.
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Re: I have a Jane

Postby TheGangsAllHere » Sun Dec 23, 2018 9:44 pm

It was very surprising to me when I first started knowing about parts and having them tell me their names, that the names weren't ones that I "liked." They weren't names I would have picked if I were naming something (a pet, a stuffed animal, a character in a story, a child). That was so strange to me. Some of the names are related to stories that I've read or TV shows that I watched as a child, but that's something I've only figured out later.

I guess that's one of the things that has helped me believe that this is all real. Also, the way that they each have their own memories. They share them with me, but there are things that I ONLY think of when a certain part is co-conscious with me, or in front, or whatever.
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Re: I have a Jane

Postby Johnny-Jack » Mon Dec 24, 2018 4:01 am

Hi, Jane!

TheGangsAllHere wrote:It was very surprising to me when I first started knowing about parts and having them tell me their names, that the names weren't ones that I "liked." They weren't names I would have picked if I were naming something (a pet, a stuffed animal, a character in a story, a child). That was so strange to me. Some of the names are related to stories that I've read or TV shows that I watched as a child, but that's something I've only figured out later.

I guess that's one of the things that has helped me believe that this is all real.

This. Exactly.

Exploring, what you wrote about a name sort of inserting itself into your thought is quite familiar too. Like Iain we had names that when called out weren't neutral to us, they were kind of "disrupting."

A few years ago we wrote down the name Bartholomew because it felt "owned." About a year ago we met our little guy with that name. Usually there's not such a long waiting period.
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Re: I have a Jane

Postby Sarandipity » Tue Dec 25, 2018 12:31 am

Thank you for replies. Unable to elaborate much at present but didn't want to pop by and say nothing.
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