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advise on trusting yourself

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advise on trusting yourself

Postby lizisace » Thu Nov 08, 2018 4:22 pm

hii, I need some advise for dealing with thoughts and feelings. over the past couple of days I have been thinking a lot about some of my reactions to different things and why I react to them the way I do. sometimes when i'm doing this suddenly sentences come up in my brain that seem very extreme and would alter my view about my life a lot if they were to be true.

My question is how you deal with vague memories and feelings of which you don't know if they're true or not? Because right now i feel very lost in all of these thoughts that might be true (and give me a lot of new information that suggest a specific traumatic event), or might have been made up for attention and sob story value (which is something i don't want at all, but i feel like i'm making DID up so this goes very well with that)


i hope this isn't too vague, and thanks for your help. i will also talk to my T about if when i have the guts to, but i just don't want to give her fake information that might harm me finding things out about myself in the future.
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Re: advise on trusting yourself

Postby NyxX » Thu Nov 08, 2018 5:34 pm

I decided it doesn't matter if all the bits and pieces of memory and history are real or not. It doesn't matter if its a jumbled mess that doesn't make sense because it's in the past and I am safe now. And deciding it doesn't matter isn't saying it doesn't matter what happened or we don't matter just that my memories don't really matter because I can't ever imagine truly being able to completely trust them. Our memories are so fragmented just having half a minute of continuous memory from our childhood only applies to 3 of the fragments I have and that is for what I believe is 2 separate memories.

What matters is how we feel now and how we connect with ourselves and the world we live in now. Because no matter what happened in the past what is happening now is real. And if we did make it up it was because its the only way we could make sense of the mess that is our memory. Or we made it up because it is somehow more bearable then the truth and if that is the case how bad was it really?
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Re: advise on trusting yourself

Postby TheGangsAllHere » Fri Nov 09, 2018 4:39 am

lizisace wrote:hii, I need some advise for dealing with thoughts and feelings. over the past couple of days I have been thinking a lot about some of my reactions to different things and why I react to them the way I do. sometimes when i'm doing this suddenly sentences come up in my brain that seem very extreme and would alter my view about my life a lot if they were to be true.

My question is how you deal with vague memories and feelings of which you don't know if they're true or not? Because right now i feel very lost in all of these thoughts that might be true (and give me a lot of new information that suggest a specific traumatic event)


Maybe it would help to think of those sentences as being true for the particular part who is expressing them. Then you don't have to get into a debate about whether they are "really" true. Just accept that part's experience and try to react the way you would if a close friend told you those things and wanted support and understanding.
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Re: advise on trusting yourself

Postby lizisace » Fri Nov 09, 2018 7:13 pm

thanks for your help.

to Nyxx, I haven't thought of it that way and it sounds really positive to be able to do that. I still need to start everything in trauma recovery, so I don't think that would work for me right now, but I definitely want to be able to look at it that way in the future.

and to TheGangsAllHere, I am still starting to figure all of this out so I don't know if it are other parts that are telling me these things, but I guess I will try to look at it that way and see what will happen. :)
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Re: advise on trusting yourself

Postby Zor » Fri Nov 09, 2018 8:36 pm

We struggle with this, too, sometimes... Zor finds it hard to know what is him and what is us at times. But he's new to us being here and still trying to like figure it out. We all are, really- learning to like cope with life as it is now, with all of us knowing we all are connected and exist and stuff.

Take it slow, take it cautiously, and like look for the others - meaning, try and like get them to open up maybe? Ask them, write to them maybe, if it is them or like something they want if it feels like "not you" somehow.

If you have a T, talk to them, too. Maybe that guidance can help you. :)

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Re: advise on trusting yourself

Postby lizisace » Sat Nov 10, 2018 12:00 am

I briefly talked to my T about it today, but we're only going to be seeing each other until the end of this month and then i'll move back to being on the waiting list, so she doesn't want to get into trauma things now and risk us being unsafe during our break from therapy, which I understand. Besides that she is very against my idea of making things up, since she as an outsider/T believes me and thinks what I say is true and she doesn't think anyone can make these things up that well, and specifically for memories she says that I don't have a reason to make this stuff up so why would I assume that I have. and then even if the whole thing is made up, it is still such a good explanation that it must have some truths to it.
So i guess i'll just have to go with the idea of my feelings about my past having some truths to them..
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Re: advise on trusting yourself

Postby Westy » Thu Nov 15, 2018 10:57 am

I can relate to your post, I used to get caught up worrying whether things were accurate or not and would flit between denial and acceptance. I think doubt has a way of returning to us time and time again.
I find free-writing/journaling helps a lot when you want answers, I found out about a young altar who's "job" it was to lie and deceive people so that no one would come close to the real truth, a sort of misguided way of protecting others on the inside. I still tend to take thoughts, memories, images and the like with a pinch of salt.

I would perhaps look at things objectively, if a friend or loved one were to confide in you the thoughts you are talking about, and you could see evidence of those things in their day-to-day behaviour and how they reacted to things, then wouldn't you believe them?
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Re: advise on trusting yourself

Postby subversiverisks » Sun Nov 18, 2018 1:24 am

I wouldn't I'd safe as possible until there is nooooo choice.
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