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(Trigger Warning: Other diagnoses with DID and onset)

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(Trigger Warning: Other diagnoses with DID and onset)

Postby goofygirl78 » Wed Nov 07, 2018 11:39 pm

I don’t know where to start except HI everyone! I am new and excited to have found a site that I can hopefully learn and grow from.

I was originally diagnosed Bipolar and to my doctors, that is what I still am. I do not deny that at least one of my alters suffers from Bipolar disorder however, I know they all don’t. I can go YEARS without showing a majority of symptoms associated with Bipolar. I have spent YEARS analyzing the Bipolar diagnosis and learned my triggers (mostly without medicine due to the meds making me feel suicidal more than not). I learned a lot over 7 years; that is before and after the alcoholism took effect. I have been a drunk since 1999 when I met my husband. Well, prior to meeting him but same year. I met him about a ½ hour away and was toting a ½ bottle of a fifth of vodka with me to his house. When I pulled it out, despite him telling me later that he was with an alcoholic prior, he was “impressed” that I could drink vodka and not overdo it.

I can only laugh now. Did he now think about the fact I had to drive home? I have had one DUI in my life.

So back to my alters. I accept that I am DID. I have many personalities; so many I can’t count. And some of them have names, but they never fully take over. Except one. I won’t name her here because I have a pseudonym online using her identity. The rest I project. Brandon, and then some dude (friend) with no face but a silhouette of a person including outline of a face named (usually) Derek. Then there is a female. I do not know her name. . .not even a little bit. I name her something different every night. Literally. Every single night. They are my group and I, as the host, am the leader. They all have their own diagnoses of mental illness; one is schizophrenic, another is narcissistic, and yet the other is chill and "normal." We all smoke and we all drink. That is our common thread. I used to be convinced that if I can quit smoking, I will become one again. I just don't think that anymore.

Btw, if you have not read the post here at


you REALLY NEED TO! I learned a lot about all of my myriad personalities. My main one is the Original. The Original is also my kid. My strongest personality is a 5 or 6 years old; I believe my dissociation began at age 4. I remember NOTHING but my mom told me that a neighbor, one of friends’ dads, caused me to run home frantically because “he was gonna put me in the oven.” I am certain I was sexually molested. From age 4, I masturbated and loved every minute of it. Still do.

It is hard having an Original that is also the kid. I see my younger self cowering terrified in a corner. I have only managed to console her once during my “conquering Bipolar with no medication” days. I actually successfully combated Bipolar. Very few symptoms anymore. Well, okay, upon thinking just now, maybe I just managed to suppress the Bipolar personality. Either way, works for me.

OMG. I just realized I could write a whole book. The point for this post is, I didn’t know I was DID until I attended rehab for alcoholism a few months back. I had always suspected to the point of saying to myself “Bipolar should be called “multiple personality disorder” and multiple personality disorder should be considered “multiple people disorder” since they “change ‘names’ and turn into completely different people.”

I’ve known I have different personalities in me for a long while. My name is the same regardless of who takes over, but others do take over. I can tell by actions and words. However, I didn’t accept what it was until I entered into rehab and began researching my illnesses.

Well, I won't continue to bore but want to say that I look forward to contributing, learning and growing on this forum.
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Re: (Trigger Warning: Other diagnoses with DID and onset)

Postby Everybodies » Sat Nov 10, 2018 7:50 am

Where do go once you've been through hell?
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