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Distinct identities with conflicting idea about partner

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Distinct identities with conflicting idea about partner

Postby bellic007 » Fri Nov 02, 2018 4:20 am

I am havibg conflicting about my needs, fromm childhood onwards i like girls who were dominant and strong. I desire them allthrough the days and i dont believed i havd enough qualities to welclme a girl like that. My biggest relationship goal was to get one like that. I had seen mamy pgraphy which portrays women dominance and sexually strong women,. I was infact addicted to lez pgraphy because it portrays strong wonens. But when it comes to life i became an entirelt different person, i started to intentionaly destroy the stremgth of women who liked me. I intentionallh want them to be weak, and repressed. Because of this two conflicting mindsets or even identities one that dwells on the imaginary fantasy world and the other that lives on the real world. I am having very great headache in my life. At one side i am waitong for a dominant girl and outside actually i dont really want them, like outaide i want to see myaelf stronger and in control..
I am sad i hurt some girls because of my double vehaviour i think it was a form of compartmentalizaion or dissociafion where something is taken out of consiousnes at certain time rather than working in an integrative manner. I am sad dissicafion has manifested in a weird way in my relationships.
Dx Body Dysmorphic Disorder
Self diagnosed Dissociative Disorder

Self Identified Parts
Smoker (M) 14 yo
Vyakulan (M) 23 yo
Nirali(M) 13 yo
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bellic007
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Re: Distinct identities with conflicting idea about partner

Postby NyxX » Fri Nov 02, 2018 10:26 am

Do you have a T? I think it would be a good idea to discuss these things with a professional because it sounds like you are being harmful to anyone your in a relationship with at the moment and it's important that any relationships you have be healthy.
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Nixie, The Pixie, Big ZuZu, Z, backup-known active alters
We might mention Ozalces he is our SO he made an account but doesn't use it much
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Re: Distinct identities with conflicting idea about partner

Postby bellic007 » Fri Nov 02, 2018 10:45 am

NyxX wrote:Do you have a T? I think it would be a good idea to discuss these things with a professional because it sounds like you are being harmful to anyone your in a relationship with at the moment and it's important that any relationships you have be healthy.


I had talked abt thisto a therapist but not like this in an open way i expressed my sadness in relationships.
Dx Body Dysmorphic Disorder
Self diagnosed Dissociative Disorder

Self Identified Parts
Smoker (M) 14 yo
Vyakulan (M) 23 yo
Nirali(M) 13 yo
User avatar
bellic007
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 494
Joined: Sat Apr 11, 2015 4:51 pm
Local time: Mon Dec 06, 2021 10:50 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Distinct identities with conflicting idea about partner

Postby NyxX » Fri Nov 02, 2018 11:25 am

I think you need to be open with them about this and the issues you have over having given up your addictions.
nyx-usual poster
Nixie, The Pixie, Big ZuZu, Z, backup-known active alters
We might mention Ozalces he is our SO he made an account but doesn't use it much
User avatar
NyxX
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1054
Joined: Wed Mar 28, 2018 12:18 am
Local time: Mon Dec 06, 2021 5:20 am
Blog: View Blog (0)


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