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Is it possible to have CONSTANT dissociation?

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Is it possible to have CONSTANT dissociation?

Postby honestlywhatever » Wed Sep 12, 2018 6:53 pm

I told my psychotherapist today that I experience literally constant dissociation (both derealization and depersonalization) -- however it can fluctuate in intensity a bit.

She then said that it doesn't sound like it's dissociation I'm experiencing because that is something that comes and goes -- not something you have constantly.

Is this true?
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Re: Is it possible to have CONSTANT dissociation?

Postby VioletFlux » Wed Sep 12, 2018 7:29 pm

As best we can remember, our previous host had a kind of low-level depersonalization thing that lasted for a few years. It maybe varied in intensity, like you said. But it was always there. She didn't know about dissociation though, she thought it was something like depression.

And depending how you look at it, we've had dissociation going on for pretty much our whole lives, with various entire 'personalities' and chunks of memory dissociated away where we were unaware of them.

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Re: Is it possible to have CONSTANT dissociation?

Postby Floralie » Wed Sep 12, 2018 9:16 pm

You know how you feel, T can't tell you that. Your symptoms might be uncommon, I don't know if it is or not, but your symptoms can't be wrong. It's not your problem to fit into the range of symptoms your T is used to dealing with. It's their problem to find out how to help someone with the kind of symptom they haven't treated before.

My problem is to trust on what I feel , if someone would argue with that. I think that is common with people with DD. So I understand why you are asking. But thinking about it as an outsider, she can not tell what is possible and what is not. Even if you would be the first person ever in the world history to have constant dissociation, then you would just be the one who proofed it can be experienced all the time. You are the source of inside knowledge of what you have, your T needs to respect. No outside source can be better.

Don't think about if something is common, look inside and think are your symptoms truly what you claimed them to be. If they are, then that is what you have. Your symptoms can't change just to make your T to be right. Defend your experience. That is how T's are suppose to learn.

I like my own T because she made it so clear I am the one who has everything in me. I have all the symptoms, but also have all the answers. Her job is to help me find my answers, because I don't know where they are. But everything I need, is in me. It's her job to respect us and learn from us, because there are no answers which would be same for everyone. People need to find their OWN ways and make their lives as they wish them to be.

I feel very defensive instantly, when hearing about Ts who think they are authorities to their patients.
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Re: Is it possible to have CONSTANT dissociation?

Postby phillipasfriends » Thu Sep 13, 2018 12:03 am

I'm not sure how I would classify it but we really relate to this feeling as well. When I was in highschool I can remember having one moment of what I called "hyperreality" in the whole year, which was when I felt like I was really looking out through my eyes and could see and feel and process what was happening around me. I think I've had about 3 this year, and now I can recognise that it's when any part is fully out, like all the way somehow, which makes me think that for the vast majority of the time we are all experiencing some kind of low-grade maybe derealisation/depersonalisation where we don't really feel like we're in the world or have a strong concept that we exist. I'm trying to fight it at the moment at it seems almost impossible, like an automatic reaction or maybe a block in our brain.

In terms of your T, everyone is so right in saying you know you. At the end of the day you are the one who experiences these symptoms, and if you aren't feeling satisfied with an explanation that someone else gives you then chances are there is a very good reason. It feels like the entire health care system is set up to put people in a place where it's kind of scary to be assertive with a T and to ask for more investigation into something that doesn't feel like the right fit for you, but it's probably a good litmus test to see how willing your T is to work with you and your ideas by starting a conversation about it if you feel like it could be worth it. :)
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Re: Is it possible to have CONSTANT dissociation?

Postby TheGangsAllHere » Thu Sep 13, 2018 12:17 am

Floralie wrote:You know how you feel, T can't tell you that. Your symptoms might be uncommon, I don't know if it is or not, but your symptoms can't be wrong. It's not your problem to fit into the range of symptoms your T is used to dealing with. It's their problem to find out how to help someone with the kind of symptom they haven't treated before.


I completely agree with this. It's sometimes possible to be using terms in different ways, and the T can say, "well, I think of this word as meaning this, and you're using it to mean that; let's try to find a way to make sure we understand each other's meanings."

But you're clearly having constant something, and you've found that the terms depersonalization and derealization fit what you're feeling. A T should NEVER be telling you that you're NOT having the experience that you're describing. They can offer a different description, but that's all.
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Re: Is it possible to have CONSTANT dissociation?

Postby raptureblues » Thu Sep 13, 2018 11:39 am

i nearly always have some level of dissociation (depersonalisation, derealisation, amnesia) going on at any given time. it does fluctuate but moments where i'm 100% present with good memory recall are rare. i've been told a few times by mental health professionals that i "can't" be dissociating that much and that it'd have to have a "trigger" for it happening, which left me confused and at a loss. from what i've been told by my current therapist and PODS, some level of near-constant dissociation comes part and parcel with having DID.

either way, what you feel is what you feel, anyone trying to tell you that what you're feeling is "incorrect" somehow are stupid.
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Re: Is it possible to have CONSTANT dissociation?

Postby Loveandfree » Thu Sep 13, 2018 12:54 pm

How long have you felt like you’ve been in constant dissociation? I can stay in a constant dissociation for months at a time. I hate the feeling. Like as another poster said, you feel what you feel and dissociation or depersonalization can’t be confused. It’s a distinct feeling, you ABSOLUTELY know if you’re constantly in it.
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Re: Is it possible to have CONSTANT dissociation?

Postby Bejer » Thu Sep 13, 2018 1:06 pm

This is absolutely not to be rude or anything, but I kind of agree with the T's. It comes and goes in respons to triggering happenings or feelings. If it's constant, then there must be a constant trigger(s) in your daily life? Maybe try to find out what's triggering.
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Re: Is it possible to have CONSTANT dissociation?

Postby Loveandfree » Thu Sep 13, 2018 1:25 pm

Just a thought, maybe when you’re feeling it less intensely, perhaps that’s when you’re not in it but are either dreading going back in it or trying to cope with it happeneing. Maybe the less intense moments is your mind trying to fight the depersonalization itself? If your mind is constantly in it or fighting it then you may not ever feel “at rest”? If you dislike it as much as I do then it would be natural for you to want to try to avoid it which is enough stress in itself to trigger.
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Re: Is it possible to have CONSTANT dissociation?

Postby sleepingwolf » Thu Sep 13, 2018 1:33 pm

We have that!

I'd say we've been living with constant disassociation, derealisation and whatever else for around 9 years now...at least. And this was only when we started noticing...anything...about what our daily live was actually like!

I'd say we have moments, for a second or two, about every other day, where we don't have anything and things seem to 'fit'. It's like the world, and ourselves, giving us a little 'hello'. Levels are certainly much lower, year on year they lessen...but will they ever drop below 99% of our daily life? I don't know.

I used to really not like it one bit, but now I think we're all kind of used to it, and don't push against it much.

We aren't too interested in the world, in some ways, or have much experience of it...so that certainly plays into it. We're not desperate to go canoe some rapids, lets put it that way!

We do love nature though, and all forms of Art. Over the years these have helped.

Good luck with it....you're not alone. Not at all!

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