One step forward ,one step back. No one listens.

Everything was fine and a couple of people got added that have been dormant for a while and I feel like I'm going backwards and I'm getting really frustrated and feeling trapped because all the hard work that I've done to get to this point seems to be getting undermined and I don't know what to do.


I feel like I or we got the answers to everything but everybody seems to be hardcore black or white thinking no one wants to come and meet me halfway. everyone's pretty pig-headed.


It's like I'm telling them not to run into a brick wall and then they say there is no a brick wall... and I'm like I'm looking right at it !there's a brick wall ! and then they go,WHY DID you let me run into a brick wall? Then punish me when I already tried to show them the way. I'm flexible BTW. I'm writing this while I'm angry so it probably sounds like I'm being very forceful like I'm a know-it-all but I know that I'm open-minded I'm very flexible and I'm adaptable and I just need my alters to be adaptable that's all I need
I'm tired of this but ill keep fighting.

I do not have any answers.
But I can relate to what you are saying and experiencing.
We had gotten to a point where we were stable, switching was smooth, there was a high level of internal communication and cooperation. Our most volatile one had calmed down A LOT.

Then, one emerged who had been dormant for many, many years. Our little recognized V's voice. Once she started communicating with me she felt very familiar to me, though I do not really have memories of her. But, it threw the system into chaos. First because K was upset and put off at a new one coming out when she thought we were "done finding people." The new one was quite abrasive at times and fought against the system, and tried to convince us of things that she felt were true, but we knew were not.

Then of course it threw B (our volatile one) back into her previous habits and ways of viewing the world. The two had some sort of war going on, though it was more like B was starting and continuing, while V got to the point where she was tired of it and began ignoring B.

It has caused... well, a lot of what you have described.

I hope it will get better on the inside for us as well as you. I just wanted to offer my empathy.

Delilah

ItsJustUs wrote:I do not have any answers.
But I can relate to what you are saying and experiencing.
We had gotten to a point where we were stable, switching was smooth, there was a high level of internal communication and cooperation. Our most volatile one had calmed down A LOT.

Then, one emerged who had been dormant for many, many years. Our little recognized V's voice. Once she started communicating with me she felt very familiar to me, though I do not really have memories of her. But, it threw the system into chaos. First because K was upset and put off at a new one coming out when she thought we were "done finding people." The new one was quite abrasive at times and fought against the system, and tried to convince us of things that she felt were true, but we knew were not.

Then of course it threw B (our volatile one) back into her previous habits and ways of viewing the world. The two had some sort of war going on, though it was more like B was starting and continuing, while V got to the point where she was tired of it and began ignoring B.

It has caused... well, a lot of what you have described.

I hope it will get better on the inside for us as well as you. I just wanted to offer my empathy.

Delilah

Thank you aooo much for your reply. It really means a lot to me that we have a shared experience....I don't feel so alone in this strange little world us DID folks live in lol


Im feeling a little bit better but unfortunately everyone is scattered inside. Its a mess lol

I can't really offer advice, I suppose, but I can talk about my experiences and hope maybe the distraction or possible similar experience will help you feel better... ???

So I've found that in the few months I've been aware of this and dealing with it, there are times it goes well, smoothly, and times when it doesn't. Some times things are going well, then the brakes get slammed on for no reason or for some minuscule thing that you don't think would matter at all... I don't think the brick wall feeling is a bad thing, or a good thing... just a thing.

This seems to be the sort of condition and situation where constant change in how things progress (or fail to) is actually "normal".

I have had this happen. For a while I was getting almost daily email (and sometimes journal entries- these my T prefers to external email communication) with Pixie... and a few from one or two others... but that stopped cold one day. I had no contact for about a week, maybe a little more. Then it just began, but it's not as constant or regular. At least, it isn't at this point. I keep trying to be hopeful it will be soon...


As for dormant ones surfacing... I still have parts I am aware of and know of that haven't had much (or any) direct communication with me yet.
So for dormant ones, I haven't had that happen yet, but I know one of mine almost never talked to/with me before I knew what they were... I have not heard from her yet. Two others had literally NO communication with me, at all, before... and I have no idea if/when they will suddenly appear or begin to communicate.