Our partner

Can denial block new information?

Dissociative Identity Disorder message board, open discussion, and online support group.

Moderator: Violarules

Can denial block new information?

Postby lizisace » Sun Aug 12, 2018 8:58 pm

Hii, sorry I ask so many of the same type of questions, I hope I'm not annoying :o
My question is if denial is able to alter functioning/perception.

My denial is very bad the past week and I feel like it gets to the point where I'm not really able to function properly and it's bothering me a lot. Especially since so much weird stuff is happening that should confirm to me more that something's up. (like leaving things in weird obvious places without having memory of it, or having random light turned on, or following random book/travel blogs on tumblr without having ever looked for them or let alone follow them.. IDk everything is weird)

So the main problem is that yesterday I was texting my friend and I sent him two (kind of contradicting) messages about 3 hours apart, he was at work so he hadn't responded to the first one. but when I texted him the second message, I 100% believed that I had ignored him for the past couple of hours and that the message I was sending fit the conversation we were having. When I sent the message I read through our conversation of that day to make sure that nothing had happened that I had forgotten, and as far as I could see nothing had... However, the conversation was already about 7 messages later and I had already responded to him. I have no idea how i could have read over about a full page of messages 5 times, without seeing them.

So this makes me wonder if denial can cause us to block out certain information we get, or certain things we see that don't make sense, without us knowing?

also, when i read back old messages that I wrote when I didn't really feel like myself or was very emotional, or notes written in a different handwriting that my usual one I'm not able to read very well. It's like what I'm reading does not belong to me, and I will get a headache/feel dizzy or nauseated. Is this also part of denial?


thanks for the help

Liz
Liz, Brian, Kat & Rose
lizisace
Consumer 3
Consumer 3
 
Posts: 60
Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2018 9:17 pm
Local time: Wed Oct 17, 2018 8:30 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)


ADVERTISEMENT

Re: Can denial block new information?

Postby raptureblues » Sun Aug 12, 2018 9:24 pm

i can relate to this a lot, my ability to remember much of anything is generally poor but when the denial is bad, it's a lot worse. my therapist and partner both think - at least in my case - that an alter is controlling what i remember and making me feel denial to stop me prying into how the system works and memories i'm not supposed to be aware of, which ties in to things other alters have told me, but i have no solid proof of it, at least not yet.

i don't know if that sounds familiar or helps at all, but i hope things make sense soon. do you have a therapist you can talk this through with?
Dx: BPD / OCD / MDD / seeking formal DID/OSDD diagnosis

alice (23, f) / jones (23, m) / lain (??, nb) / bubbles (little, f) / werne (little, m)

journey thread + insiders weekly
User avatar
raptureblues
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 316
Joined: Sat Jun 16, 2018 11:42 pm
Local time: Wed Oct 17, 2018 8:30 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Can denial block new information?

Postby birdsong87 » Sun Aug 12, 2018 9:47 pm

it sounds like denial is leading to more amnesia. Those are the gaps in your memory.
amnesia is a very common experience in DID.
Dx: DID cPTSD
L (host); Mike (caregiver); Asti (co-host, achiever); Annett (teen protector); Maya (child); Thamara (child); Danielle; and others
our blog on resources: www.dis-sos.com
birdsong87
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 2748
Joined: Mon Mar 23, 2015 10:20 am
Local time: Wed Oct 17, 2018 8:30 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Can denial block new information?

Postby NyxX » Sun Aug 12, 2018 9:56 pm

I've always hated reading or rewatching things and I never really used to understand why and kind of just made excuses for why I didn't like it. But recently I've started to notice that it's because I'm missing bits. Like the other day I was reading a thread and could see 2 posts from the same person and I was confused because in the 2nd post they quoted someone who had clearly responded to the first post. And I was really confused and ended up deciding the person quoted must have deleted the post. When I looked at the thread again later that day because a new post had been made on it and suddenly there were all these posts that should have been there before but I had somehow not seen.

Since then I've been trying to pay more attention and I'm noticing I don't see things that I should a lot and it makes me feel really unsettled. And I've think my aversion to rereading or rewatching is centered around the not noticing things I should have.
nyx-usual poster
Nixie, The Pixie, Big ZuZu, Z, backup-known active alters
We might mention Ozalces he is our SO he made an account but doesn't use it much
User avatar
NyxX
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 810
Joined: Wed Mar 28, 2018 12:18 am
Local time: Wed Oct 17, 2018 8:30 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Can denial block new information?

Postby lizisace » Sun Aug 12, 2018 10:36 pm

thanks for your responds

raptureblues wrote:i can relate to this a lot, my ability to remember much of anything is generally poor but when the denial is bad, it's a lot worse. my therapist and partner both think - at least in my case - that an alter is controlling what i remember and making me feel denial to stop me prying into how the system works and memories i'm not supposed to be aware of, which ties in to things other alters have told me, but i have no solid proof of it, at least not yet.i don't know if that sounds familiar or helps at all, but i hope things make sense soon. do you have a therapist you can talk this through with?


I don't know if i recognize it or not. Especially today it felt like someone really wanted to help me get over my denial by leaving very obvious clues, and I do get the thoughts of 'oh that probably was an alter', but at the same time the thought of having alters just not clicks for me. It could be an alter trying to hide things from me, I do have days in which I feel like someone doesn't want me to know or find out more, but then that has to be someone I haven't met yet. Also, in the first encounter I had with Brian (the first alter I kind of knew the existence of), he was afraid of me finding out because according to him I wasn't ready to know about all of this yet, and he was trying really hard to hide from me. So it could be a similar situation, but I have no idea.

Also about the therapist thing, I have my intake thing on Tuesday, so I hope I get to the part where I can talk to them about these kinds of things soon.


NyxX wrote:'ve always hated reading or rewatching things and I never really used to understand why and kind of just made excuses for why I didn't like it. But recently I've started to notice that it's because I'm missing bits. Like the other day I was reading a thread and could see 2 posts from the same person and I was confused because in the 2nd post they quoted someone who had clearly responded to the first post. And I was really confused and ended up deciding the person quoted must have deleted the post. When I looked at the thread again later that day because a new post had been made on it and suddenly there were all these posts that should have been there before but I had somehow not seen.


thank you for this, this is exactly what I mean and it's driving me nuts. For me I feel like most of the umfort of reading back the things I wrote for me, comes from the things I wrote kind of being a confirmation that I sometimes feel like a different person and it scares me so much.
Liz, Brian, Kat & Rose
lizisace
Consumer 3
Consumer 3
 
Posts: 60
Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2018 9:17 pm
Local time: Wed Oct 17, 2018 8:30 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)


Return to Dissociative Identity Disorder Forum




  • Related articles
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: DuckToTheFace, Floralie, MakersDozn, puppieskittens, TeddyBear the helper, VioletFlux, Zor and 49 guests