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Intake new T is next week, how to prepare

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Re: Intake new T is next week, how to prepare

Postby Bejer » Thu Aug 02, 2018 3:03 pm

Hi D, that's very nice of you:) It's next week (the post is from this monday (to me it feels like a longer time ago as well:))) if it all goes through, so thanks for your encouragement!
F 37 Dx; DID & PTSD
Previous Dx; ADHD, BDP, Bipolar, PTSD, DPD, IQ >130 (all by different T's. Don't know yet which of them were false)

Five hosts; B, Ex, J, Er, R, who all have several 'younger versions', and subsystems D & X.
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Re: Intake new T is next week, how to prepare

Postby ItsJustUs » Thu Aug 02, 2018 3:08 pm

Bejer wrote:Hi D, that's very nice of you:) It's next week (the post is from this monday (to me it feels like a longer time ago as well:))) if it all goes through, so thanks for your encouragement!


Oh, well. I feel a bit silly. I thought it was from last Monday. *sigh*
My apologies.

I suppose it is the thought which counts. :)

D
Kitten 39F-Core, Delilah (age unknown)F- Protector/System Manager/Care Taker, Britney 17F- Former persecutor turned protector, Lilly 5.5F, Little Wolf (young, but age unknown) "job" unknown, Val- age unknown, Female entity, we think she is a protector
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Re: Intake new T is next week, how to prepare

Postby Bejer » Fri Aug 03, 2018 9:33 am

Exactly, it's the thought that counts and the thought was/is very nice of you!:)
F 37 Dx; DID & PTSD
Previous Dx; ADHD, BDP, Bipolar, PTSD, DPD, IQ >130 (all by different T's. Don't know yet which of them were false)

Five hosts; B, Ex, J, Er, R, who all have several 'younger versions', and subsystems D & X.
Bejer
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Joined: Fri Jul 27, 2018 12:21 pm
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Re: Intake new T is next week, how to prepare

Postby TheGangsAllHere » Fri Aug 10, 2018 3:18 am

Did this happen yet, Bejer? If so, how did it go? (If you feel like sharing). This T sounded like a good one, so I'm curious to hear how the intake went. Hope it went well!
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Re: Intake new T is next week, how to prepare

Postby fireheart » Fri Aug 10, 2018 6:57 am

yes, I hope so too! Take care <3
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Re: Intake new T is next week, how to prepare

Postby Bejer » Fri Aug 10, 2018 7:46 am

Wow, thank you for asking <3

It was the day before yesterday. Yesterday I spent all day in bed because it was very intense and also confusing/worrying (B thought from the very beginning that she has DID, he bluntly asked, and she told me that she was treated for a severe cptsd and broke contact with her family just a year ago. And the talk about this was just a few minutes, the rest of the session ofcourse also resulted in a lot of activity, inside).

I'll write more about it when the thoughts calm down.

<3
F 37 Dx; DID & PTSD
Previous Dx; ADHD, BDP, Bipolar, PTSD, DPD, IQ >130 (all by different T's. Don't know yet which of them were false)

Five hosts; B, Ex, J, Er, R, who all have several 'younger versions', and subsystems D & X.
Bejer
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Re: Intake new T is next week, how to prepare

Postby Bejer » Fri Aug 10, 2018 2:27 pm

It's really 'consuming' other impressions, this subject. And I don't know what to do with it. She's nice, professional, but I'm worried. When talking about earlier experiences with T's, I felt once again how deep those trauma's go; I'm scared to pieces already. And it's no coincidence that B thought she has DID and that she was telling me about her process yesterday. Confusing as ^%$^#^and I don't know if it's responsible of her to treat traumatized people. Because if B already saw it, she still has triggers and stuff.

And I also don't want to disrespect her:( It's ofcourse very strong of her to have that process next to her quite big career as a T and supervisor. That's bad ass.

But here I am, talking about her also being traumatized, and not about my treatment. And if I quit sessions with her, there's nothing else.
F 37 Dx; DID & PTSD
Previous Dx; ADHD, BDP, Bipolar, PTSD, DPD, IQ >130 (all by different T's. Don't know yet which of them were false)

Five hosts; B, Ex, J, Er, R, who all have several 'younger versions', and subsystems D & X.
Bejer
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 336
Joined: Fri Jul 27, 2018 12:21 pm
Local time: Sat Oct 20, 2018 6:02 pm
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Re: Intake new T is next week, how to prepare

Postby Bejer » Fri Aug 10, 2018 2:44 pm

Found her because I collected all my 'guts' and emailed Onno van der Hart (from one of those worldwide known 'did bibles') to ask him if he knew something/somebody, because I couldn't find anything after the place with the bad T closed the door on me when I got into crisis.

He's been her supervisor in the past and I wonder if he knew about this.

Trying hard to supress conspiracy thinking (the fear that she's a programmed survivor and that he's part of that). Because if I go there, I can't trust a single DID-T in this country.

:(

***triggerwarning, abuse by T's*****

And this hits such a big trauma. My very first T at the age of 9 who payed my mother to abuse me. 20 years later in the same place a T who did a lot of emdr/hypnosis none of the parts remember anything about and a few months ago that T who claimed to be an expert while she was not and brought up the name of a knowm criminal who was part of the abuser group (haven't told any T about that, exept maybe the one from those sessions we don't remember) in the very first session and screwed things up bigtime.

It's big and it's messy and I do nót know who to trust and that's legit.
F 37 Dx; DID & PTSD
Previous Dx; ADHD, BDP, Bipolar, PTSD, DPD, IQ >130 (all by different T's. Don't know yet which of them were false)

Five hosts; B, Ex, J, Er, R, who all have several 'younger versions', and subsystems D & X.
Bejer
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 336
Joined: Fri Jul 27, 2018 12:21 pm
Local time: Sat Oct 20, 2018 6:02 pm
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Re: Intake new T is next week, how to prepare

Postby TheGangsAllHere » Fri Aug 10, 2018 4:00 pm

I'm confused. Who is B? And you're saying that the T said that she herself has "severe" c-ptsd and broke contact with her family a year ago?? What the actual f*ck???

Honestly, that would scare the sh*t out of me. She would have to be reassuring me constantly that her own stuff wasn't getting in the way of my treatment, if I was even willing to stay. Every single thing she did or said in a session I would want to be sure she was doing for my benefit and not to meet some need of hers, and she would have to be self-aware enough and honest enough to tell me. (Of course, come to think of it, I do that with my current T anyway, and I don't think he has a history of any kind of trauma...)

It did sound like the contacts you had with her were very positive, and that she was sensitive, caring, and perceptive. And great DID therapists are hard to find. I just think in a situation like that, especially given your past experiences, I would want to take a very long time to cautiously build up trust (probably a good idea in any case).
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Re: Intake new T is next week, how to prepare

Postby Bejer » Fri Aug 10, 2018 4:16 pm

TheGangsAllHere wrote:I'm confused. Who is B?


Sorry, he's one of the hosts and a protector, he already emailed her paranoid questions because he thought he saw DID. During session, when she said 'we' in stead of 'me/I', he immediatly fronted and asked her straight to the face is she has DID.

TheGangsAllHere wrote:And you're saying that the T said that she herself has "severe" c-ptsd and broke contact with her family a year ago?? What the actual f*ck???


And when he asked her, she told this, yes:( She even changed her name (and B already asked her about that in the email, because van der Hart used another name for her; she said; I'll tell you in the first session)

TheGangsAllHere wrote:Honestly, that would scare the sh*t out of me.


Yes:(


TheGangsAllHere wrote:She would have to be reassuring me constantly that her own stuff wasn't getting in the way of my treatment, if I was even willing to stay. Every single thing she did or said in a session I would want to be sure she was doing for my benefit and not to meet some need of hers, and she would have to be self-aware enough and honest enough to tell me. (Of course, come to think of it, I do that with my current T anyway, and I don't think he has a history of any kind of trauma...)

It did sound like the contacts you had with her were very positive, and that she was sensitive, caring, and perceptive. And great DID therapists are hard to find. I just think in a situation like that, especially given your past experiences, I would want to take a very long time to cautiously build up trust (probably a good idea in any case).


Thank you. I'm really not sure now. Because yes, she's indeed very sensitive, understanding and smart. But good heavens:(
F 37 Dx; DID & PTSD
Previous Dx; ADHD, BDP, Bipolar, PTSD, DPD, IQ >130 (all by different T's. Don't know yet which of them were false)

Five hosts; B, Ex, J, Er, R, who all have several 'younger versions', and subsystems D & X.
Bejer
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 336
Joined: Fri Jul 27, 2018 12:21 pm
Local time: Sat Oct 20, 2018 6:02 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

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