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Inner cooperation

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Inner cooperation

Postby Sarandipity » Fri Jul 06, 2018 9:01 pm

I just had this thought about "inner co-operation" When non-multiple people have inner conflict (the head verses the heart for example) they still have inner conflict!! It literally just occurred to me. Non-multiple people have inner conflict, it causes them upset. So non-multiple people are not so different when in turmoil. The difference is I suppose they won't have inner conflict over whether they like ham or not, what religion they are (sometimes they do), or such conflict over clothes etc.

But they still have inner conflict. Do they have inner dialogue? Do they have an inner discussion with themselves on their issue? I'd be really lonely if I wasn't my own best friend, if I had no inner conversations. Sure it's societally unacceptable - I'm guessing, I dunno. But I'd miss myself if we weren't all here so to speak. Sometimes I internally ask myself "who feels like..." (doing whatever is needed doing) and usually someone volunteers or a few do. How do non-multiple people do stuff they don't feel like doing? How do they live so lonely in themselves?

I've never thought of these things before but reading you guys here I get stuff you're saying and also because you're having struggles I started to think about how I cope and then thought hang on a minute how do non-multiple people cope at all?- I've never thought about it before. As a kid I thought everyone was like me and then I thought "oh no there's something wrong with me" but I never stopped to think about how people who are not like me think and cope and no wonder they're lonely alot. It's weird to imagine just one singular way of being trapped alone in a body - actually it's really f'in scary.
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Re: Inner cooperation

Postby Lightfire » Fri Jul 06, 2018 9:49 pm

When I was alone in this body (or thought I was) my inner dialogue went like this: I need to do this, this, then this. Or how am I gonna get this? It was just me thinking to myself about how I was gonna do things. I rarely had inner conflict because I ranked things from least to most important. I put priorities over pleasure. I was never lonely. Probably because I like my solitude. Come to think of it, I can't recall anytime I was lonely.
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Re: Inner cooperation

Postby Amythyst » Fri Jul 06, 2018 10:08 pm

It is our understanding that singletons do maintain an inner monologue and can experience internal conflicts. Both Violets have discussed this at length with one of our best friends.

The difference, according to the friend, is this: Her inner monologue is just that - a monologue, one voice. Even when she is debating it or 'arguing' it is still only her. She may weigh pros and cons of a given decision or situation, or examine differing opinions, but it is always only herself participating.

When we in our system experience an inner dialogue, it is more than one voice. When we have an inner conflict or debate, it is more than one 'self' participating.

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Re: Inner cooperation

Postby Ozalces » Fri Jul 06, 2018 10:17 pm

As a non-multiple I can tell you that the idea of having multiple individuals in my head is a scary concept, most likely for the same reason you find the concept of being alone in your head scary.

Inner conflicts are usually resolved by considering the various factors involved, the biggest factors are usually desire & finances.

The process of making the decision involves a lot of umming and aahing, as reasons to do or do not are considered

I should also point out that the decisions can be about anything but the ones that provide inner conflict will always relate to something they are passionate about

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Re: Inner cooperation

Postby Windsoar » Sat Jul 07, 2018 11:16 pm

Ha,ha,ha..just had a similar conversation with my T. He calls himself a SPD...single personality disorded. I was relating how after a recent surgery, I had periods of quiet & found it very disconcerting...probably caused by drugs. But We could call on them if needed. Also cuz the alter who takes care of medical/doctor relations needed to be out more. T related how after a medical crisis of his own, his wife took notes when meeting with doctors. T apparently nodded like he was present & understanding when he really wasn't present & understanding! One of my alters asked why T just couldn't ask another insider to be present or take notes. Even volunteered to loan him an insider if it ever happened again. Yea, they aren't all clear on how this works!!! T also pointed out that DID s generally accomplish much more than SPDs & are also more talented. SPDs, as he explained, will think: this & this needs to be done today. Then end up eating pizza & watching TV. We say the same followed by whose going to do it. And it gets done! Kathy at DiscussingDissociation list like a hundred benefits to bring DID.
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Re: Inner cooperation

Postby Johnny-Jack » Sun Jul 08, 2018 12:31 am

I would love to hear a panel discussion, as something on YouTube, with singletons and multiples discussing this exact issue. It's a question I've often pondered and asked others -- how does my inner experience and decision-making differ from others -- and it would certainly educate an open-minded listener.

Of course, I couldn't participate, even if I were 100% out as multiple, because I believe I wouldn't do it "right." Honestly, I (okay, host Johnny) have such a drive to appear sane -- specifically, not at all insane -- it's overwhelming and colors what gets said and how it's delivered in front of virtually anyone who isn't a multiple or a therapist/psychiatrist.

I remember well taking a vacation shortly after we confirmed the DID and alters began to wake up or participate. The memories are 100% as if I went with a bunch of people. It was the opposite of lonely, unlike many prior solitary vacations. Posts here and in my journal recorded much of it.
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Re: Inner cooperation

Postby Sarandipity » Sun Jul 08, 2018 12:21 pm

Johnny-Jack wrote:I would love to hear a panel discussion, as something on YouTube, with singletons and multiples discussing this exact issue. It's a question I've often pondered and asked others -- how does my inner experience and decision-making differ from others -- and it would certainly educate an open-minded listener.

Of course, I couldn't participate, even if I were 100% out as multiple, because I believe I wouldn't do it "right." Honestly, I (okay, host Johnny) have such a drive to appear sane -- specifically, not at all insane -- it's overwhelming and colors what gets said and how it's delivered in front of virtually anyone who isn't a multiple or a therapist/psychiatrist.

I remember well taking a vacation shortly after we confirmed the DID and alters began to wake up or participate. The memories are 100% as if I went with a bunch of people. It was the opposite of lonely, unlike many prior solitary vacations. Posts here and in my journal recorded much of it.


Yep, me too - want to appear 100% sane or at least not insane. Our drive is also to "remain sane" because of having derealisation issues and other extreme experiences. So we strive for balance, to live life fully but without overload which causes what we see as actual insanity.
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Re: Inner cooperation

Postby Pikapiciu » Mon Jul 09, 2018 5:05 pm

Hi everybody.

I am a non-multiple or “singleton”, and yes, inner conflicts in fact do happen to me.
As someone else already pointed out these occur when I must decide upon matters involving my inner passions and principles.
Heart vs Head vs Fear vs Will vs Duty vs Pleasure vs Moral and so on ( In essence, emotion Vs rationality).
Personally, I do have some discussion of sorts with myself. The actual “me” keep reasoning with…well, “me”, about what would be the best thing to do in the given circumstances,
pondering about the pros and cons of the possible choices, and possible outcomes.
But since there’s only one self governing my body, I only have my own perspective to appreciate the situation, which can be quite limiting: sometimes the choice isn’t obvious and the conflict freeze my mind to the point that I get stuck in the middle as I can’t come up with a clear decision. What I usually do when I’m experiencing such difficulties is talking with people whom I trust, or even strangers (yes, it happened) asking for advice and for their view about the situation, so to help me see things from a different angle. It gives me the inputs I need to get out of the impasse and tip the balance in order to take the decision.

About loneliness…well since there is only one “me” I cannot be my best friend, yet I suppose it strongly depends on one’s sociability and attitude. I don’t mind being alone at times.
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Re: Inner cooperation

Postby Sarandipity » Mon Jul 09, 2018 6:20 pm

Windsoar wrote:Ha,ha,ha..just had a similar conversation with my T. He calls himself a SPD...single personality disorded. I was relating how after a recent surgery, I had periods of quiet & found it very disconcerting...probably caused by drugs. But We could call on them if needed. Also cuz the alter who takes care of medical/doctor relations needed to be out more. T related how after a medical crisis of his own, his wife took notes when meeting with doctors. T apparently nodded like he was present & understanding when he really wasn't present & understanding! One of my alters asked why T just couldn't ask another insider to be present or take notes. Even volunteered to loan him an insider if it ever happened again. Yea, they aren't all clear on how this works!!! T also pointed out that DID s generally accomplish much more than SPDs & are also more talented. SPDs, as he explained, will think: this & this needs to be done today. Then end up eating pizza & watching TV. We say the same followed by whose going to do it. And it gets done! Kathy at DiscussingDissociation list like a hundred benefits to bring DID.


Lol single personality disordered

In a medical thing I had to do that was horrible I switched to the state that really doesn't care if hurt. The more the woman seemed to try to hurt me - it seemed to annoy her I wasn't hurt - the more jokes I cracked, chatted to the other nurse lady there. It was a much better state than when I'm anxious and worried like when I hurt my leg and I didn't know how bad it was. I knew I had to feel all pain or they'd send me home like when I'm in labour and they told me I'm not because I'd be screaming with that level of real contractions and my waters break at home. With my leg the doctor just lightly touched it and I was in agony screaming, he sent me for an xray but luckily it was just badly infected.

So I do often see it in a plus way. The only time I find it a negative is when around a person who is abusive in some way because I dissociate alot which has then lead to extreme derealisation, depersonalistion, fugue and luckily I've always ended up in a hospital - misdiagnosed loads but in a safe environment. There's been points where I could of easily wandered off but my family or someone who knows me alerts the police. It hasn't happened, touch wood, for years. There's even pluses to that though - I was stressed out and a bit down and sitting looking at my back gate and I thought I could just walk out it and not come back. Then I thought why don't I? And I realised I actually love my life, I've forged my own life since escaping home and I love it. But if I really wanted to I'm perfectly capable of walking out that back gate - I've felt happy and free since that realisation.

I know it's a horrible disorder in many ways but I know I'd not of done half the stuff I've done without it or survived all the stuff I have or found ways to thrive. Probably or possibly I'd of done "better stuff" or been more "successful" but I really don't think I'd have experienced all I have experienced. I dunno, it has its downsides but it does have a few upsides.
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Re: Inner cooperation

Postby RedHound » Wed Jul 11, 2018 1:46 pm

Sarandipity wrote: I know it's a horrible disorder in many ways but I know I'd not of done half the stuff I've done without it or survived all the stuff I have or found ways to thrive. Probably or possibly I'd of done "better stuff" or been more "successful" but I really don't think I'd have experienced all I have experienced. I dunno, it has its downsides but it does have a few upsides.


I'll second that; it's tough and confusing at times, but overall, I think the help in overcoming past and new traumas (as well as finding someone to help out or do something in my place) makes it more than worth it.

For instance, I recently went through a really rough period with an abusive/bully co-worker who acted in ways similar to part abusers and triggered all kinds of anxiety, panic attacks, DP, and DR symptoms in me. There were days I couldn't get myself out of bed (let alone to work) where Az stepped up and got me there and then stayed with me or took over for encounters and the aftermath of those encounters. I know that I would not have pulled through that year or found the strength to confront my managers and HR about the situation (and eventually quit) if it weren't for him. I had help from my very supportive partner as well, but he couldn't be with me all day the way Az could, so having an Alter can really be a life line.

I also wouldn't trade the relationship I have with Az for anything (and I hope to develop a similar bond with the others). We may disagree fairly often in little things, but his friendship and support have meant so much to me over the years, and I never want to face the world without him.
Host: "Q" age: 32 *not the original
Azrael "Az" age: 17 (can age slid up)

We're still getting to know the others; limited internal communication and years of suppressing/ignoring them has made this difficult.
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