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My mind is scattered and disassociated due to marijuana

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My mind is scattered and disassociated due to marijuana

Postby WeAreOne420 » Tue May 15, 2018 9:57 pm

Ive had DID since childhood obviously lol i didnt become aware of it until I started smoking hevily and it changed my brain chemistry and pattern up of my alters up and I havent been the same. It makes me angry at myself but I also know there was no way to have known. But I do somewhat regret not stoping smoking 3 year ago when I started having bad oanic attacks. I just coukdnt stop. Still can't...I dont want to while I dont want the consequences of it.


Last week I had some edibles and something terrible happened. It was like my head caved during raoid cycking...abd now my core is inside but theres an outside and a vortex next to it.

Like I messed myself up.

Now the good part is i made contact with parts of myself i havent been able to reach in quite some time.

Which is what ive been using weed for anyways. A way to move throughout my aystem and to contact others.


Its a catch 22.

Havent smoked or ate weed in over 42 hours. I love the idea of just letting go but the dependency is strong,my will Is kinda weak and thats usually the only time I feel semi grounded to myself.



Guess I just want someone to tell me that everything is going to be ok. That i havent messed up my brain and that I can be ok.

This last round really caused me to be sepert
ate in my co con thing si im experiencing mild amnesia.


I'm just so nad at myself but I know I have to be be careful with that because I also understand why I needed it to cope. I have ocd ..I have an obsessive addictive personality and when I started smoking i was so young...

So theres some forgiveness as well.


Overall,I might sound horrible but im actually doing better than normal....which is crazy. Lol


wish me luck.
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Re: My mind is scattered and disassociated due to marijuana

Postby Efragment » Tue May 15, 2018 10:04 pm

Hi:)

Lived together with a stoner for five years and grew up between addicts, but I've never used anything myself, until three years ago, when I discovered that THC is the only thing ever that will help me sleep... and, indeed, connect better.

I only smoke when I go to bed; strict rule we never cross.

You will be ok, this feeling will pass, but please wach out with the eatables; you never really know how much you take.
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Re: My mind is scattered and disassociated due to marijuana

Postby WeAreOne420 » Wed May 16, 2018 12:17 pm

Efragment wrote:Hi:)

Lived together with a stoner for five years and grew up between addicts, but I've never used anything myself, until three years ago, when I discovered that THC is the only thing ever that will help me sleep... and, indeed, connect better.

I only smoke when I go to bed; strict rule we never cross.

You will be ok, this feeling will pass, but please wach out with the eatables; you never really know how much you take.



Yep. I added a teaspoon of cannabutter to a delicious gravy abd yeah...

I'm feeling a lot better.


Its just rough because some of us are serious pot heads while other aren't as bad off and im left feeling like an azzhole in the middle who wont stop "hurting myself". Its a rough spot to be in but im already feeling better.
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Re: My mind is scattered and disassociated due to marijuana

Postby myce » Fri May 18, 2018 1:33 am

Hello WeAreOne420
I am addicted to marijuana. I first tried it when I was 13 and both my parents smoked. I stole it from them at first. My old man is 70 is still smokes. My mom quit years ago. I don't think either of them are better or worse for it. They seem content with their lives. Marijuana might impair you but it won't kill you. Some people have very intense/frightening experiences but that is not my experience. Once I overdosed on edibles and was so sleepy I was late to work the next day.

It isn't as dangerous as alcohol or other drugs. It can sap your ambition over time and make you more lazy. It changes the dissociative states and may aggravate them. It wastes my money and some parts of me don't even like it. I decide to quit, then go to buy more. It is legal in my state. Thing is, it quiets the noise in my head. It calms me down. It is becoming recognized as a treatment for symptoms of PTSD. It is a catch-22.
major dissociative disorder, 42f
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Re: My mind is scattered and disassociated due to marijuana

Postby WeAreOne420 » Fri May 18, 2018 11:49 am

myce wrote:Hello WeAreOne420
I am addicted to marijuana. I first tried it when I was 13 and both my parents smoked. I stole it from them at first. My old man is 70 is still smokes. My mom quit years ago. I don't think either of them are better or worse for it. They seem content with their lives. Marijuana might impair you but it won't kill you. Some people have very intense/frightening experiences but that is not my experience. Once I overdosed on edibles and was so sleepy I was late to work the next day.

It isn't as dangerous as alcohol or other drugs. It can sap your ambition over time and make you more lazy. It changes the dissociative states and may aggravate them. It wastes my money and some parts of me don't even like it. I decide to quit, then go to buy more. It is legal in my state. Thing is, it quiets the noise in my head. It calms me down. It is becoming recognized as a treatment for symptoms of PTSD. It is a catch-22.



I know exactly what you mean. A few tried to quit only for to go south we me abd host i believe.


It agrivated my entire condition butnits thebonly way to move roubd mym system cmabd communicate with the hard to reach. Plusbibjust love smoking but I dont smoke ciggs .


It is a catch 22. I had a hell of a morning so im going to go smoke now.
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