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Treatment options / do you need a specialist T?

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Re: Treatment options / do you need a specialist T?

Postby fireheart » Mon May 04, 2020 7:02 am

Things haven't been easy, but we're managing.

Something to remember:
A T explained a new metaphor/tool to us: puzzle boxes. Periods in your life have their own puzzle box. However, sometimes the pieces get mixed up. So, you can gather all parts inside and look at the pieces of the present and gauge whether they are in the wrong box.

We love puzzling, so this is a very concrete metaphor to us. Maybe someone else also likes it.
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Re: Treatment options / do you need a specialist T?

Postby fireheart » Fri May 22, 2020 6:31 am

Next week we have therapy again, so I think that we should be able to wait until then to share anything that's important or coming up. I don't really have words for what's happening inside, but my opinion is that I should be able to self-soothe. And even if I'm struggling with that, it's okay, because it will motivate me to learn how to do it better.

Bottom-line: I don't want to depend on the T, especially when nothing "big" is going on.
I want to be able to solve it by myself...

Plus, I've been feeling shame/like I take up too much space. I'm feeling pretty dysregulated. Lonely. Bored. Scared.

I'm having a bit of a dilemma, because I think that we will "build a shield" if we DON'T reach out to the T (and next session will be more difficult). But if we DO I feel like we're asking/needing way too much.
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Re: Treatment options / do you need a specialist T?

Postby TheGangsAllHere » Fri May 22, 2020 6:50 am

It sounds like something important is going on and that it feels important to share it with the T now rather than push away the feeling of wanting to connect. Of course you can survive without contacting her, but it sounds like there's a feeling that doing that will come at the cost of walling yourself off from deepening the connection.
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Re: Treatment options / do you need a specialist T?

Postby birdsong87 » Fri May 22, 2020 7:23 am

we feel like that a lot. strong needs for independence but also the need for support or even help and a real struggle to figure out if it is right or wrong...
we try to figure out whose impulses all these are. some of us will always vote for distance and walls, but especially when it gets difficult and they feel like we need to be protected. distance is our primary way of protection. but it helps to see who wants to have the contact too. if it is needy Littles and maybe we can take care of it ourselves. or if it is literally me who needs another adult for support, or stuff that we honestly don't know how to solve.
it can help to get some distance and do a reality check. maybe it is a situation where help is needed and someone just wants distance because that is the only way they know how to act when something is painful or tricky.
maybe it would help to look at it as something different than right or wrong. it is just one step on a long path. asking for help once won't make us dependent. not asking will not suddenly create this huge wall that is impossible to get past in the rest of all the future. if it is just one step we could take it and see if we like the results or not. then we can still adjust the direction we are going next time.
Dx: DID cPTSD
L (host 1); Asti (host 2); Annett (teen protector); Maya (child); Age (observer); Thamara (child); Danielle (aut. teen); Mike (caregiver) and others
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Re: Treatment options / do you need a specialist T?

Postby fireheart » Fri May 22, 2020 7:48 am

Thanks, Gang and birdsong.

I ended up texting to ask if the T is working today and that I think we would benefit from a short conversation, but that I don't want to ask for too much and it is no problem if it isn't possible. She replied that she has a busy day, so feels reluctant to promise anything.

That feels really safe, because it means that she is protecting her boundaries - which means that I can relax a bit on trying to do that for her. That already seems to resolve a bit of the "stuckness" inside.

Thanks for the reminder to find out what is going on inside and to pay attention to the nuances. Some of us definitely feel much safer when having distance.
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Re: Treatment options / do you need a specialist T?

Postby MakersDozn » Fri May 22, 2020 10:52 pm

We're glad that you reached out to your T, fireheart, even if she wasn't able to see you. And that you see the positives in the boundary that she set.

And we hope that you're able to resolve whatever is happening inside.

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Notable: Charity 25, Deborah 23, Drew 23f, Mary 23, Rachel 23, Laura 17.5, Allegra 17, Cass 17, shawn 16f.
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