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How far we have come, do we let things be?

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How far we have come, do we let things be?

Postby fmkeylock » Wed Feb 07, 2018 1:40 am

Ok not sure but I feel we are on a very good path.........We went from 14 months ago from alters openly presenting themselves, complete amnesia, severe headaches/seizures to now where we have very little switching and the host out front most of the time. Yes a lot of hell in-between..............

What I see and what he has said.......I see very little of the protector but rather traits of the protector and host together most of the time out front..........The littles x2 come out both of their traits are presenting together. I say we are currently 90/10 with the host being out front
and littles being out...........The host saying that he, the protector, and 2 littles are always watching and paying attention and the host is in full control and the others can no longer take control unless the host puts them forward...................I asked the littles this, they said yes they no longer can come out unless the host allows them too, they have lost that control to come out on their own.................There does not appear to be internal fighting going on at all and we have cooperation.........................

The last two weeks he has grown a great deal when I put him on house arrest for taking off and now he is not allowed to stay home alone or go fishing or nothing, note even youth group. He realized that he really screwed himself. I also notice a big shot of testosterone hitting as his voice is getting deeper and cracking. Is it possible that he is maturing some and that is helping him overall? Side Note We did agree to give back youth group starting next week in return he goes to tutoring for math. So I said I trust you for tutoring I will trust you for youth group. I thought a good trade off.

Yes we have our teenage issues but DID direct issues I am seeing less and less.................I don't talk about integration, I let things be and keep on trying to produce and maintain cooperation...........

I guess the baseline I have is knowing where we were 14 months ago to where we are now and it appears he is doing amazing......................I feel like keeping on the course we are going and just keep on doing what we are doing, not sure what else we should do. I just don't know what to expect for long term and it is not like I can run down to the local DID T and say what do you think.
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Re: How far we have come, do we let things be?

Postby Una+ » Thu Feb 08, 2018 2:32 pm

He is doing amazing! Good job, mom.

Re "let things be", that depends what exactly you mean. To me it does not sound like he needs EMDR at this time. He certainly does not need EMDR from a quack. There is so much else going on for him right now that arguably is higher priority: keeping school and social life on track, physical growth and maturation at a prodigious rate, and staying safe. You have read what sources there are about treating adolescents with DID, right? They all say that getting a handle on what is going on inside is harder and yet in many cases resolution of the dissociative disorder per se is much easier, compared to working with an adult.

Unfortunately, sometimes the apparent resolution of DID is only superficial because a suppression treatment has been applied. But I am fairly confident from reading all that you have posted here, that in your son's case what is going on is not suppression. And if it were suppression, then it is to some extent by his own choosing and there will be opportunities for him to enter a future "definitive treatment" of his own choosing. So, either way, not a problem.

Have you asked him what he thinks, how he wants to proceed?
Dx DID older woman married w kids. 0 Una, host + 3, 1, 5. 1 animal. 2 older man. 3 teen girl. 4 girl behind amnesia wall. 5 girl in love. Our thread.

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Re: How far we have come, do we let things be?

Postby IainEtc » Thu Feb 08, 2018 4:01 pm

Hi fmkeylock,

I just wanted to say that we didn't get any therapy when we were little but the most important thing was learning how to manage our system so we could get along in society. How to manage switching and memory and stuff like that. So now Host has a pretty good life with a job and house and friends and stuff. That wasn't about fixing the DID mostly just learning how to deal.

I'm glad you son is learning. Please let him know our system hopes his system grows up to have a good life.

Iain
Iain - 14, Colin - 17, Evan - 7, Cody - 16, Raven, Host - the adult out front

When they say 'be yourself',
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Re: How far we have come, do we let things be?

Postby fmkeylock » Thu Feb 08, 2018 7:07 pm

Una+ wrote:He is doing amazing! Good job, mom.

Re "let things be", that depends what exactly you mean. To me it does not sound like he needs EMDR at this time. He certainly does not need EMDR from a quack. There is so much else going on for him right now that arguably is higher priority: keeping school and social life on track, physical growth and maturation at a prodigious rate, and staying safe. You have read what sources there are about treating adolescents with DID, right?

Have you asked him what he thinks, how he wants to proceed?


I don't feel like we need to rock the boat as far as the DID goes but rather keep our focus on his teen stuff, girls, school, social life and so forth but make sure we continue to check in with his system cooperation.....He does not want to integrate, and I agree with that, as the original overall dysregulation we have had from the beginning is still there. There is a course in March given by Francis Waters about the understanding of pregnancy and birth trauma and how that sets up for dissociation disorders and overall dysregulation. I will buy it after this years conference in Chicago as that is part of his healing as well......But I am pleased about his progress in controlling his system, now we need to start getting at the core of his overall perception of how he views life and others. Example just yesterday he was going off about how his brother and sister, age 8 and 5 have been picking on him since they were born. But he has always been like this but now maybe someone has answers as to how to get deep down in there to help overall regulation.
Mother of a 12 yr old DX with DID (other DX's, ODD, ADHD, Bipolar, PDD-NOS, I think these all = DID)
3-7 yr old little male slider "Little Austie"
10 yr male Luke
Satan alter, currently MIA
Just starting our journey, or lets say just starting the journey that makes sense now....Many more adventures to come.
fmkeylock
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Re: How far we have come, do we let things be?

Postby fmkeylock » Thu Feb 08, 2018 7:19 pm

IainEtc wrote:Hi fmkeylock,

I just wanted to say that we didn't get any therapy when we were little but the most important thing was learning how to manage our system so we could get along in society. How to manage switching and memory and stuff like that. So now Host has a pretty good life with a job and house and friends and stuff. That wasn't about fixing the DID mostly just learning how to deal.

I'm glad you son is learning. Please let him know our system hopes his system grows up to have a good life.

Iain


Thanks so much Iain, I am pleased about his control of his system, and happy for him that he is learning so fast. I have talked to a couple of parents with DID children and it is not the same. My heart breaks for them, as it does for all children and adults. I value your input you provide, and yes managing his system is the upmost importance and I agree about "Fixing the DID". I love every part of him and just want him to be able to do teen stuff. A little selfish on my part I am so in love with his little parts, I love all the parts, but the little parts really have my heart. I think it the mom thing. I feel grief just thinking that someday they may not be there anymore. I know we need to do what is best for him and it is his choice, as of now he wants to keep his parts, so I am find with that. I am not ready to let my littles guys go yet....silly right...
fmkeylock
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