for the protectors [venting and advice]

this is for protectors like me who wanna help their host and have no idea how or just want advice in general on how to protect...

-Steve

Viola is going through a lot of stress and it's making her extremely aggressive and angry towards mainly herself. How can I help relieve some of the stress she's feeling?

alexs wife doesn't like me. I'm too blunt and she always thinks I'm him. If she doesn't care enough to try to help my depression. Should I even care if she and the host work?

ThatPerson wrote: alexs wife doesn't like me. I'm too blunt and she always thinks I'm him. If she doesn't care enough to try to help my depression. Should I even care if she and the host work?

I think that you should make sure she knows that it's you and not the host. I think it's good to care that the host loves her, but you should make it clear to his wife that she needs to be able to accept the host's alters as well. I would talk it out with the host first though.

This is a great thread. And I have feeling it can become quite popular, too. After all, all alters are protectors.

ThatPerson wrote: alexs wife doesn't like me. I'm too blunt and she always thinks I'm him. If she doesn't care enough to try to help my depression. Should I even care if she and the host work?

How about if you let her know when it is you and not Alex fronting?

And how about if you tell her how to help you with your depression?

What she can do, explicitly.

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Violarules wrote:Viola is going through a lot of stress and it's making her extremely aggressive and angry towards mainly herself. How can I help relieve some of the stress she's feeling?

Blow steam with her using relaxing techniques. Since listening to relaxing music, to training, doing some creative work, going for a walk, eating something delicious and healthy, caring of Sasha, etc.

Sea

Seangel wrote:This is a great thread. And I have feeling it can become quite popular, too. After all, all alters are protectors.

Violarules wrote:Viola is going through a lot of stress and it's making her extremely aggressive and angry towards mainly herself. How can I help relieve some of the stress she's feeling?

Blow steam with her using relaxing techniques. Since listening to relaxing music, to training, doing some creative work, going for a walk, eating something delicious and healthy, caring of Sasha, etc.

Sea

Relaxing techniques? Like what exactly?

Violarules wrote:Relaxing techniques? Like what exactly?

Listening to relaxing music, meditating, swimming, doing some training, walking, running, painting, drawing, colouring, screaming (in a safe place), smashing stuff (that are replaceable or non important), sleeping, looking at the stars, doing nothing, anything that might give you all a break.

ThatPerson wrote:and she always thinks I'm him.

Maybe you can get a pin or something similar, like a police officer wearing a badge when on duty. At least until she learns to tell you apart by other means.

Seangel wrote:

Violarules wrote:Relaxing techniques? Like what exactly?

Listening to relaxing music, meditating, swimming, doing some training, walking, running, painting, drawing, colouring, screaming (in a safe place), smashing stuff (that are replaceable or non important), sleeping, looking at the stars, doing nothing, anything that might give you all a break.

this made me smile a little bit. relaxing is not part of the self-concept of many protectors. being constantly alert, making sure that everyone is save, everything is taken care of.... it makes stuff like "painting" and "taking a break" sound like... like other people can do that.
i am trying to learn how to relax better. if i find something that works i will let you know!

birdsong87 wrote:

Seangel wrote:

Violarules wrote:Relaxing techniques? Like what exactly?

Listening to relaxing music, meditating, swimming, doing some training, walking, running, painting, drawing, colouring, screaming (in a safe place), smashing stuff (that are replaceable or non important), sleeping, looking at the stars, doing nothing, anything that might give you all a break.

this made me smile a little bit. relaxing is not part of the self-concept of many protectors. being constantly alert, making sure that everyone is save, everything is taken care of.... it makes stuff like "painting" and "taking a break" sound like... like other people can do that.
i am trying to learn how to relax better. if i find something that works i will let you know!

I really like Angel's ideas and in light of what you just said...maybe a martial arts class. Of course it depends on what you're into but its a good way to learn how to protect in an effective manner and without anger. And it can be relaxing too