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keep on keeping on

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Re: keep on keeping on

Postby birdsong87 » Mon Jun 11, 2018 11:54 am

I think we still get into struggles about control something...
Asti wants to organize starting with the new T
and I am somewhere else emotionally. mainly scared of continuing therapy.
But Mike says... he gave like a complete anaylsis of what HE saw in the new T. he is good at that.
but it wasnt what I saw. So now I have to trust him too...
I am kicking and screaming and it is no fun to watch or be there. :roll:
Dx: DID cPTSD
L (host); Mike (caregiver); Asti (co-host, achiever); Annett (teen protector); Maya (child); Thamara (child); Danielle; and others
our blog on resources: www.dis-sos.com
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Re: keep on keeping on

Postby NyxX » Mon Jun 11, 2018 12:07 pm

Could you let Atsi and Mike and anyone else that's ready go to see the T and you hold back until you feel ready?
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Re: keep on keeping on

Postby birdsong87 » Mon Jun 11, 2018 12:35 pm

I let Asti tell her that we can agree to try.
I wish there wasn't the pressure from the old T who would go thru info with the new one for support...
then we would have had time to make a second appointment so I could talk to her and see if she is different with me than she is with Asti.
Cause if she talks to me like she talks with Asti I will run away crying. seriously. It was a horror to watch that initial interview. so overwhelming.
Mike says she is different and adapts to who is sitting there. but I need to see it for myself.
but it doesnt really matter if I see it before or after we agree to treatment, cause we can stop going there any time. we won't lose anything if we quit this time. it is this or nothing, so the health insurance won't block us for anything we could get.
this decision was a little forced. But I can decide when to start. it doesnt have to be right away. cause I really need some time to process leaving the old T. It's not like I can throw that away like trash and just move on.
Dx: DID cPTSD
L (host); Mike (caregiver); Asti (co-host, achiever); Annett (teen protector); Maya (child); Thamara (child); Danielle; and others
our blog on resources: www.dis-sos.com
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Re: keep on keeping on

Postby NyxX » Mon Jun 11, 2018 12:46 pm

Could you call or message the new T to tell her what your feeling and your worried she will be the same with you?
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Re: keep on keeping on

Postby birdsong87 » Mon Jun 11, 2018 12:57 pm

I don't see a need to call her for that. We can figure it out next time we see her.
We just need to make sure I can front for that.
Dx: DID cPTSD
L (host); Mike (caregiver); Asti (co-host, achiever); Annett (teen protector); Maya (child); Thamara (child); Danielle; and others
our blog on resources: www.dis-sos.com
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Re: keep on keeping on

Postby NyxX » Mon Jun 11, 2018 1:00 pm

I hope it goes well for you
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Re: keep on keeping on

Postby TheGangsAllHere » Mon Jun 11, 2018 3:31 pm

It makes sense that you would all have different takes on the new T and different feelings about starting with her. You don't have to trust her yet just because they are more comfortable with her. Also, whoever fronts should probably let the T know your feeling about how the T talked with Asti and how that style/approach wouldn't be right for you. Maybe it would be easier for you to front if the T already knew that?

I/we don't seem to have any control over who fronts when we see the T. I can't decide ahead of time who's going to be there, and he's only just starting to be able to tell who might be talking to him. Mostly based on how we're using pronouns at the time to refer to each other.
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Re: keep on keeping on

Postby birdsong87 » Mon Jun 11, 2018 3:45 pm

we have someone in the system who decides who fronts most of the time. Someone who manages us. It is very uncomfortable and that part thinks they are above us foot soldiers...

Asti made sure that the old T gets to talk to the new T. As it has been mostly me working with her and Asti being critical in the background she will be able to give the T a brief introduction of the system before we start.
Dx: DID cPTSD
L (host); Mike (caregiver); Asti (co-host, achiever); Annett (teen protector); Maya (child); Thamara (child); Danielle; and others
our blog on resources: www.dis-sos.com
birdsong87
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Re: keep on keeping on

Postby birdsong87 » Wed Jun 13, 2018 2:23 pm

I am trying to make us fit for the future and get some stuff done.
concerning health insurance, legal status and all that.
But L just starts to... howl... when I try to focus on getting $#%^ done. :roll:
She is not exactly in a good place but I don't know what to do. Except slow down and not get $#%^ done.
6 days to our court date. That will be tough. It is also the last giant challenge for the month. hopefully.
It means we can work with a new paper work lady and I don't have to fight my urges to strangle the old one for being an impertinence. it includes us going to court were a judge has to be convinced that we are helpless, confused and unable to take care of ourselves so that they will give us a support person. It feels humiliating and I am not sure if I can sell it. L needs to go. She is very convincing right now.
Dx: DID cPTSD
L (host); Mike (caregiver); Asti (co-host, achiever); Annett (teen protector); Maya (child); Thamara (child); Danielle; and others
our blog on resources: www.dis-sos.com
birdsong87
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Re: keep on keeping on

Postby BeccaBee » Wed Jun 13, 2018 10:16 pm

we are cheering for you birdsong.

we believe in you
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☆~I take Prazosin for nightmares/insomnia and it's a miracle!! ~☆

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