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keep on keeping on

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Re: keep on keeping on

Postby Efragment » Thu May 10, 2018 1:01 pm

You did it. Great. I hope you all can find something that will help you relax now.
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Re: keep on keeping on

Postby birdsong87 » Sun May 13, 2018 4:40 pm

oh my... Asti wrote an article, I translated it, now we are waiting for a shitstorm to come in.

chronic pain is still making life extra hard. but the fact that we could write an article is a good sign.
we will take things slow next week. as slow as we can.
Dx: DID cPTSD
L (host); Mike (caregiver); Asti (co-host, achiever); Annett (teen protector); Maya (child); Thamara (child); Danielle; and others
our blog on resources: www.dis-sos.com
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Re: keep on keeping on

Postby Menagerie » Mon May 14, 2018 3:02 am

The article is very good! I would stay far, far away from that treatment. It was a bit triggering just to read about the treatment, not to mention your experiences. Good on you guys for doing what you do.
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Re: keep on keeping on

Postby birdsong87 » Mon May 14, 2018 1:56 pm

We wrote about it because it is coming up again. we are going to have an interview with the possibly new T beginning of next month. she is another behavioral therapist, like our current one, and we are stilled scared of that a lot.
Annett called our current one safe enough because she is in a wheelchair and can't move. So it's a little less threatening. Writing what we wrote and sharing these examples brought up memories and those parts. we need more healing in that area. it is the weirdest thing to go to a T and expect them to help us heal the injuries we got from a T. in this case its the same city, they very probably know each other.
Dx: DID cPTSD
L (host); Mike (caregiver); Asti (co-host, achiever); Annett (teen protector); Maya (child); Thamara (child); Danielle; and others
our blog on resources: www.dis-sos.com
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Re: keep on keeping on

Postby TheGangsAllHere » Mon May 14, 2018 4:13 pm

birdsong87 wrote:it is the weirdest thing to go to a T and expect them to help us heal the injuries we got from a T.


Seems to be pretty common, from reading this forum. And I'm the poster child for it (or one of them)!! So not weird in the sense of uncommon. But certainly a weird experience. You're walking into the same type of place where trauma happened to try to have the same type of person who caused the trauma help you heal from it. It's always a question (to me) of whether it's bravery or foolishness...
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Re: keep on keeping on

Postby Efragment » Mon May 14, 2018 5:17 pm

TheGangsAllHere wrote:
birdsong87 wrote:it is the weirdest thing to go to a T and expect them to help us heal the injuries we got from a T.


Seems to be pretty common, from reading this forum. And I'm the poster child for it (or one of them)!! So not weird in the sense of uncommon. But certainly a weird experience. You're walking into the same type of place where trauma happened to try to have the same type of person who caused the trauma help you heal from it. It's always a question (to me) of whether it's bravery or foolishness...


Exactly:(

Birdsong, read your article.. oh my. I hope you're not doing that treatment again?
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Re: keep on keeping on

Postby birdsong87 » Mon May 14, 2018 6:01 pm

that was more than 4 years ago. we had just lost L4 and I was new to the job and in a lot of denial and we had zero cooperation within the team. it was a mess. to the point that I cant blame anyone for being clueless about how to treat us. we must have been utterly confusing. they observed us about 4 different dx and sent us away without having made up their mind.

no, we are not going back. ever. last time we went to that clinic for safety was a different ward and people were really nice.
yes, one of the doctors from that time is reading our blog and he is open to learn. I hope he is willnig to accept that this treatment wasnt good for us. we think he knew it was a mess. he hesitated to put us thru the worst of it. mistakes were done by his boss and others. I think we even hid it from him. we tried to hide everything... :roll:

it seems that for some of us just being in the same city and only minutes away from that clinic is a major challenge. and working with a dark haired woman. and a behavioral therapist.
the boy is Sascha, he is close die Danielle but our communication is hard (he is mute) and I am not sure if he can hear me. i can feel a little bit of him but its not enough to make sense so I am not sure how to help. I am so tired of this part of systemwork, where we are not getting anywhere.
i need a break. we havent written anything today. although we have 3 articles unfinished. I am tired of going thru the list of activities that could help S.
Dx: DID cPTSD
L (host); Mike (caregiver); Asti (co-host, achiever); Annett (teen protector); Maya (child); Thamara (child); Danielle; and others
our blog on resources: www.dis-sos.com
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Re: keep on keeping on

Postby Efragment » Mon May 14, 2018 6:20 pm

Was he the same T you talked about before, with whom you wrote? Very glad to hear you're not going back..

Do you know how Danielle interacts with him? Maybe you can trust her on this one and indeed try to relax?
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Re: keep on keeping on

Postby birdsong87 » Mon May 14, 2018 6:36 pm

we've had so many Ts over the last 4 years that it is getting confusing...
the one from the clinic... he sat with us, actually waiting and observing, not doing a lot. but after the clinic program we had a monthly appointment, for 3 years. we stabilized and he got to know us better. he never tried to treat us. he just listened and encouraged. in that, he never made terrible mistakes.
he always learned a lot from us and continues learning by reading our blog regularly. he has another DID patient who moved to his new clinic with him. he is now the boss of the psych part of that clinic. he gets to decide about treatment. he trained in PE for trauma treatment.... we hope that he will start proper screening for dissociation. it was not done in any clinic we have ever been to.
he is young. probably 37 now. and smart. I have great hope that he will become a really good one.

the T who just helped us is a DID expert from a different trauma clinic.

Danielle is not always close front/ co-con. and she is on the autism spectrum like S. We never figured out if that makes them get along better or worse... i will try stimming next, then reduced sensory stimulation and then the day will be over.
Dx: DID cPTSD
L (host); Mike (caregiver); Asti (co-host, achiever); Annett (teen protector); Maya (child); Thamara (child); Danielle; and others
our blog on resources: www.dis-sos.com
birdsong87
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Re: keep on keeping on

Postby Efragment » Tue May 15, 2018 10:50 am

Are you ok now? Had a somewhat good night?

I've been wondering about autism, BPD, etc, in the system. I don't know if it's possible for only a few parts to have that? It's nature, not nurture; how we handle nurture (in parts in stead of 'traits') is not how we can handle genetic stuff, I think.

However, trauma can worsen or even 'wake up' such conditions, so it can be that parts who dealt with more abuse, have the condition worse.

On the other hand; ptsd symptoms can look a lot like autism.

In both cases; you know how to communicate with them because you actually might understand them better than you think!
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