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keep on keeping on

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Re: keep on keeping on

Postby birdsong87 » Sat Jul 30, 2022 9:16 pm

the homework is actually what we have wanted help with all the time while the T was gone. the urges are there for trauma-specific reasons (not a regulation problem) and could easily be lethal if we can't figure out how to redirect them. Always having to hold that back has been a main reason for the recent burnout. so it is actually part of a crisis intervention to solve that issue before anyone else burns out.
I am trying to take things slowly. only one bigger task a day. a lot of rest. I have been doing this body-focused relaxation exercise recently that helps me a lot. as far as I understand it the pain is escalating because of stress. we have always had flares when we get stressed. and I get triggered a lot. everyone is stressed a lot. it kind of makes sense. hope to be able to see my doc or hear from him about an email to figure out what else to do to manage pain.
we were able to talk to several friends today. it is pretty rare and it helped a lot. We might also have ice cream with a friend tomorrow. not being all alone in this makes a big difference. thanks for reaching out @TheGang
Dx: DID cPTSD
host ; Asti (host 2); Annett (teen protector); Maya (child); Age (observer); Thamara (child); Danielle (aut. teen); Mike (caregiver) and others
birdsong87
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Re: keep on keeping on

Postby birdsong87 » Thu Aug 04, 2022 10:24 pm

I think we are making progress with our T. When I listened back to the recording of the last 2 sessions (reluctantly, I don't like to hear myself) I noticed that the way she tries to approach emotion, the way she is trying to communicate empathy, is actually triggering. one of the main female abusers did that. We noticed weird gaps before when the host would feel totally not understood and when we listened back the T was right there, saying all the right things. Somehow she was unable to hear it. it makes perfect sense when there is actually a trigger there.
Being able to write her really helps. She keeps confirming it and that helps me to be more open when I write. We've had a bit of meta communication about talking about emotions and there was some understanding about how tricky it is and how narrow the window where we can tolerate it. It was good to see that she really does understand.
We've made big progress with Age. I am so glad that she basically made her own progress because I don't feel like I am much help. But she understood what our T was trying to say and totally came up with a solution that seems effective and smart. I do wish we had the same for D. but well. One problem at a time.
it looks like the pain is slowly going down. it was a pretty bad flare. I just want everything to calm down.
Dx: DID cPTSD
host ; Asti (host 2); Annett (teen protector); Maya (child); Age (observer); Thamara (child); Danielle (aut. teen); Mike (caregiver) and others
birdsong87
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 4095
Joined: Mon Mar 23, 2015 10:20 am
Local time: Thu Aug 11, 2022 12:34 pm
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Re: keep on keeping on

Postby TheGangsAllHere » Fri Aug 05, 2022 5:55 am

That all sounds really positive. I'm intrigued by what you've discovered by recording your T sessions. I wonder if I should try that. I know that in the performance I was just involved in, I would recall things from rehearsal a certain (upsetting) way, but then when I watched the videos we were sent to use for practice, I would see that things had gone a completely different (more positive) way than I had thought. It would make sense that the same thing happens with our T.

Anyway, I'm so glad that you're making progress!
TheGangsAllHere
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