How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Good luck, and I hope you can get through this without it weighing you down too much.

Vi

feeling out of place, unbelonging

I do hope you feel better.

Things are a little less problematic right now. We screwed up our estrogen and touched off a lot of problems, but it isn't just that. I feel bad for having a meltdown and causing Vi so many problems. Things are better now.

Lilith.

Feeling unheard and alone...

Deafgirl369 wrote:Feeling unheard and alone...

I'm sorry. I know that feeling and how awful it is. I hope you are better today.

Vi

Not really, I actually feel worse. I received some bad news yesterday. Now I'm all out of sorts. The switching is bad today.

That really is terrible. I do hope things get better not worse and that you will all be ok.

Take care,
Vi

I've been seeing a new therapist for a few months after 4 years of not being in therapy and was diagnosed with psychotic depression and was put on sick leave for 6 months (don't have a job actually but still).

Currently my biggest problem seems to be that I don't feel anything except anxiety or fear or shame or guilt and dread. Also keep reliving past events since I was a kid. Have nothing good to look forward in the future. Tried to make a new friend but kept switching and being weird and felt awful. Mostly I'd just like to be a carefree child, which I never got to be. Or at least a carefree adult. I'm supposed to think about workworkwork and how to get a job and all grown up stuff but I don't want to! Also I'm exhausted all the time and my pulse is always high and I keep getting sick (burn out type of symptoms).

Feel like I'm actually much more mentally ill than I previously thought (accomplished a goal for which I had been working towards for nearly a decade and after that everything unraveled and now I also question the whole accomplishment like why did I even bother).

Also I feel like a 17 year old who would just like to hang out with her (only) friend like we used to but suddenly we're middle aged, she has kids and no time for me. Well, actually she'd probably have time for me if I wasn't so crazy.

I guess my development in different life stages got arrested due to traumas and psychological symptoms and everything is weird now.

Life feels like watching a horror movie.

I'm feeling really low today I don't know if its because our medication didn't turn up for 8 days (so been 8 days without it) or because there's someone else near the front feeling depressed.

The nurse came to take our bloods yesterday finally (they were due in March!) so the fact we've had to miss just over a week may skew the results I'm not sure how quickly a difference would be noticed but all near the front are feeling depressed and tearful (that could be hormones too..or lack of them!)

Feeling a bit dissociated and not sure whose still up front but hopefully it will pass soon now meds have arrived.

Day was going OK given the bad night we had. Then started to spiral down feeling worthless and useless and that's when one of the abusers decided to show up and now feeling totally $#%^ n wishing my partner was here but they are away and I know they will be frustrated I listened to the abuser but they don't know what it's like trying to escape a voice in your head that uses your own hands to hurt the body. Everything is a mess