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How are you today thread (trigger warning)

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Re: How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Postby ArbreMonde » Fri Jan 21, 2022 8:05 am

Sending moral support! It can feel scary to get surgery but in the end, after the recovery, we fell so much better than it's all worth it.

Be brave little ones. It'll be worth it I promise.
__
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Re: How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Postby Amythyst » Fri Jan 21, 2022 11:45 am

sending support & good vibes your way Gang!!

juice & crackers & fun movies sounds really good!
Ciara(10f); Em(22f); Teg(6f); Vanessa(13f); Viola(17f); et multa magis
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Re: How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Postby TheGangsAllHere » Sun Jan 23, 2022 5:31 am

Thanks, Daniel and Amythyst. We had our surgery yesterday and it went fine. It turned out that one (or some?) of the littles had a very scary idea about what would happen, and they were very relieved when that turned out not to be true.

We did get apple juice and crackers when we woke up, and we watched several Disney movies after we got home yesterday, so I was glad we could keep our promise to the littles. We also texted the T and got back nice emojis from him.

Now we're in the boring phase of staying in bed with our feet up. Sleeping was difficult last night, but it should be easier tonight.
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Re: How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Postby Amythyst » Sun Jan 23, 2022 11:31 am

hi Gang, we're glad it went well!

we hope you all have a smooth & speedy recovery!
Ciara(10f); Em(22f); Teg(6f); Vanessa(13f); Viola(17f); et multa magis
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Re: How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Postby ArbreMonde » Sun Jan 23, 2022 6:19 pm

Good luck with the recovery, Gang! Congrats to the Littles for being brave through it all, and to have been able to connect with the here and now enough to realize all was well.


*****************CONTENT WARNING: feelings and metaphors are a bit over-the-top and psychotic-like**************************







I am presently dealing with the newfound vaste-ness of my self. I have more or less integrated all of the identity aspects into a whole "me", and I now feel the Innerworld as part of the INSIDE of me rather than the OUTSIDE. I am all the alters, all the Innerworld, all the memories, and oh gosh there are years of work ahead to tidy the place. Well, the "me" rather than the "place". I am the Innerworld and everything and everybody inside.

I feel like I have reached god-level of being a whole universe myself. The whole of what is happening inside my brain is a universe, and this universe is me. I contain a world. I am a world. Now that I feel like I am a whole world (Well let's not get ahead of ourselves shall we? 90% of a world. There are hidden fragments somewhere, I know it.) I can fully, whole-ly, interact with the other world-persons there exist.

I know it sounds a bit "over the top" as a metaphore. The feeling will certainly subside and go back to human-level-normalcy when I'll be used to it. But this is how it feels right now. I am a whole universe, everybody is a whole universe, and the physical world is the 4-dimensional-space through which the different person-universes drift in order to reach each-other to communicate and interact.










************************END WARNING**************************

But well. Give it a few days and I'll be back to "I am a whole human person able to give almost my whole 100% to my interactions with the other human persons and we meet through the physical world". It's just that the step from feeling "an alter among many" to feeling "an almost whole integrated person" is a very intense feeling. It is a bit as if the limits of "me" have bounced from "just the size of one organ" to "everything inside the skin appart from a finger or two".

Now, tidying everything up will be another pair of sleeves. But at least I have a 90% vision of what is going on inside which will make the whole cleaning up and tidying up easier than with only a 10% vision.
__
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This too shall pass. It shall pass like a kidney stone, but it shall pass.
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Re: How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Postby spinningtops » Mon Jan 24, 2022 1:12 pm

Arbre Well it does sound like a great way to feel though! I am glad you are feeling good right now. Sounds "expansive" and beautiful.

~

well been a while since i posted here. but yeah. feeling a bit weird today. i am trying to find a normal place. was writing earlier which is triggering and hard, but also feels really important to do and like, 'a goal' of mine. but i know it brings out some alters that maybe are a bit weirder i guess. anyways i am in a weird place when i do this. and am just trying to calm down now.
starting a class in a few days (very excited for that).
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Re: How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Postby ArbreMonde » Tue Jan 25, 2022 12:24 pm

I am very salty. Salt-mine level of saltyness.

After two years of trying to reach out to one of my professional partners by email, they emailed me back saying they were cancelling our engagement. They pretend they recieved absolutely no contact from my part these last two years. They sent postal mail to me to the old adress, that recieved no answer. The postal mail were of the kind "If you do not answer we cancel everything" and despite being very important, they were NOT engaged with a "Proof of delivery" or any "Return reciept" kinda thing.

So to summarize:
- they ignore me.
- act unprofessional.
- use all of this to cancel our contact unilaterally.

All in all I LOST the equivalent of $3,200 in the process. Or if you prefer: they kinda stole this amount from me given how their lack of professionalism caused the contract to be cancelled. This feels like validism to me since I asked their services in the first place specifically because I am too disabled and don't have enough professional helpers to do the things myself.

My second best solution is to turn to the biggest, international, less ethical solutions - or to do everything myself, at the cost of my time and health.

Being disabled socks. I'll end up opening a shop for millipedes so much this situation socks.
__
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This too shall pass. It shall pass like a kidney stone, but it shall pass.
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Re: How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Postby HGranger » Tue Jan 25, 2022 2:28 pm

On a happier note, it is Tuesday. The best day of out week. Yes we see T for 1 hour and should start our wand making project, then we get 2 more hours of group where we are comfortable enough to let some of the others out. Angelina, who is 4 is doted upon and she is such a trooper, we like to let her interact in this safe place.
:D KC
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Re: How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Postby YunaTheSummoner » Sun Jan 30, 2022 11:26 am

There seems to be a little girl who can communicate with us ( I say 'us' cos Juno seems to also 'see' these dreams and we talk about them the next morning) via night time dreams though it is still a struggle for me to 'see' or imagine others while I am awake. ...but it is kinda like receiving a video message but it only happens when asleep. Although she never talks but 'sends clips' of video that I'm guessing she's trying to say something with them.


I don't know how she can see what I've seen or been watching to use that to communicate back to me and I don't know how to communicate back to her although she seems to know that I 'received' the message, I'm not always sure what she was trying to tell me??

I thought if she' s in the background somehow and can read this and I've got a screen reader reading it out loud incase she's too young to be able to read some of the words - that I can somehow communicate the fact that Juno and I are aware of her and are trying to work out how to 'fix the broken bridge'.
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Re: How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Postby ArbreMonde » Sun Jan 30, 2022 7:15 pm

I too function a lot through night time dreams. They helped me figure out a lot of important things.

If she communicates by sending images and "clips" this might be her primary way of communication. Therefore, words or sentences read aloud might not reach her. BUT ! You can focus on sending her similar "clips" back. Such as for example: you and Juno giving her a hug and a teddy bear, to show that you care. Or images of the physical world here and now, so she can realize the painful past is over.

Hope this helps!
__
Morwan.
Autistic | ADHD | DID | transmasc (they/them & he/him)

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Journey thread | DID ressources thread

This too shall pass. It shall pass like a kidney stone, but it shall pass.
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