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How are you today thread (trigger warning)

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Re: How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Postby ArbreMonde » Sat Nov 20, 2021 7:22 am

Sending moral support to you, Yuna. It is unfair how the health care system is unable to catch up with all it needs to do. I sincerely hope you will manage to find enough self-help ressources.

Amythyst, it is tremendous progress to realize the voices can be talked to collectively. It reminds me a bit how G/Hosties (from Zamiel) and Zami (from Zamiel) function: as a collective of fragments. Each fragment is too small to be talked to individually, but all together they gather more than enough wit to reason and act like a person. It might be a possible evolution of your bullying voices in the future. Fingers crossed, because it would allow to reason with them!

Glad for you, Gang, that the issues with the T are getting solved. We hope that the Thanksgiving celebrations will be pleasant for you.
__
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Social: Zamiel ɸ (complex fusion) or Daniel ♂ɸ (Zamiel + David)
Self-care: David ♂
Managers: The Mirror ♂ (inner self-helper) - Isaïa ♂ ("trauma-sitter") - Theia ♀ (gatekeeper)
Trauma holders: Pride|Wrath ♂ - Lust ♀ - Reyna ♀ - Ulysses ɸ

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Re: How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Postby Amythyst » Tue Nov 23, 2021 5:08 pm

thankyou Gang & Daniel

Gang we hope things continue to go well with your T. and hope you have a good thanksgiving.

same for anyone else who's doing that this week, hope you all have a good day.

Daniel, 'a collection of fragments' describes all of us in our system pretty well lol

like the ones of us who have names & identities & stuff, we're the ones who's collection of fragments sticks together pretty good. but when those fragments stop sticking together then we kinda fall apart & stop being here.

and yeah we're kinda hoping if we can get that group of fragments to kinda come together again so we can talk with them like we did before, then maybe we can reason with them & stuff. getthem to understand the critical talk doesn't help anymore & that we dont need to be productive every waking minute etc.

atm we're still dealing with stress / anxiety, mostly about work stuff. we've noticed alot when that happens we feel little but not sure if theres a little fronting or just nearby
ok was just told "its Teg" which makes sense

gotta go try helping her calm down
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Re: How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Postby TheGangsAllHere » Wed Nov 24, 2021 5:00 am

**************************TW death of a pet*********************************




We had a very sweet cat with a lot of personality, but she had a tumor that got really big, and she was losing a lot of weight, and we had to decide what to do before we left on our trip tomorrow. So it's been a really difficult few days. We took her to the vet oncologist on Saturday, and her prognosis was really grim, but we thought we could keep her going until after we got back. But after watching her for a few days, and seeing that nothing improved even with trying prednisone again, and the tumor was just getting larger and larger, we decided to have her put down today. There are vets who will come to your home to do it--that's what we did with our cat who we lost 2 1/2 years ago. So that happened around noon today and it was really sad.




**************************End TW*********************************

We saw our T early this morning, before we had to deal with our cat, and he was really sad also, so that helped us. And he's going to see us on zoom on Friday, even though it's the day after Thanksgiving. Now we're packing, and trying to look forward to the trip. I think it's going to be hard when we get back and our cat isn't here waiting for us. :( :(
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Re: How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Postby gremandco » Wed Nov 24, 2021 5:09 am

so sorry you lost your cat, gang. we also lost a pet of ours not long ago, who had neurological issues and was very old. i hope you feel better soon.

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Re: How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Postby ArbreMonde » Wed Nov 24, 2021 7:27 am

Sending tons of moral support, Gang. It was a very difficult decision to make.

Our cat is having constipation lately so we decided to try a few Internet vet recommendations before going to see the vet in-person. It turns out, olive oil did help his guts start again. He also stole some All Brans from our bowl. Giving fibers to a constipated cat is a good advice though the vet recommendations are more about giving cooked green beans and zucchini for the fibers because they contain moisture too. Oh well. At least now we know he eats All Brans and we can give him some if he gets constipated again - he has no issue drinking with his fountain so I guess he does not need greens for the moisture when constipated.

We'll talk to the vet at the next vaccines visit though, and we'll keep paying attention to how the cat is doing and will take an emergency app before the vaccines, if it turns out olive oil and All Brans are not enough.

System-wise, we notice more and more our fluctuations and blendings and passive influences. It is not full-on switch I think, since our sense of identity is more blended than during full-on switches. As an example, I realized I had a lot of influence from Ghosties@Zamiel when I started selecting fauvism-like colors for the seaside landscape I was painting yesterday during the painting activity at the association for disabled people. With a hint of Zami@Zamiel for the impressionism touch. (I am more of a realist / Bob Ross kind of painter myself.) It took me "loosing" them while I was drying a layer of paint with the hairdryer to realize it was not me-me. They came back as soon as I had a paintbrush in hand. Apparently, watching paint dry (literally) is not fun for them. *chuckle*

Lust seems to have been completely merged with the Mirror. It makes sense since they both contain aspects of inner caretaker / self-helper. I appear to have inherited some of her aspects. Others have inherited some, too. Like Hohenheim, Trisha, and others before her, she seems to have dissipated as a full-on alter to become more of a guardian spirit present everywhere across the system. It sounds very Disney-like but it is exactly how it feels. She is not "gone" because her spirit is within everyone. I guess if we really want to talk to "her" we can still do it - I mean, it happens with e.g. Hohenheim sometimes, when we really need to hear him say something in-person. It feels like they are "one with the Force": they can appear in-person when we really need to see them in-person, but most of the time, they are like spirits floating everywhere at the same time, with no specific shape. Not "gone", just, not "separated" anymore.

It kinda feels like we are being "haunted" but in a nice way. Instead of having poltergeist-like trauma flashbacks lurking around, we are (yes "are" not "have" since our whole mind is the crypt) a crypt full of "ancestor spirits" watching over us.

Disney-like stuff indeed.

At least nobody (yet) is singing "It's a small world" inside our head.
__
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Key: ♂ he/him | ♀ she/her | ɸ they/them

Social: Zamiel ɸ (complex fusion) or Daniel ♂ɸ (Zamiel + David)
Self-care: David ♂
Managers: The Mirror ♂ (inner self-helper) - Isaïa ♂ ("trauma-sitter") - Theia ♀ (gatekeeper)
Trauma holders: Pride|Wrath ♂ - Lust ♀ - Reyna ♀ - Ulysses ɸ

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Re: How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Postby YunaTheSummoner » Wed Nov 24, 2021 9:32 am

Sorry to hear about your cat Gang. It's awful loosing much loved pets. :cry:

I talked with family at the weekend and as they haven't got round to getting me a laptop yet they will instead get something to help with exercising to encourage me to keep moving. In the meantime I will work with what I have here for now.

I will continue to do the speech therapy exercises I have as wait's for any type of therapist seem to be very long right now!

Juno and I have been practising though by talking to each other whispering, shouting out answers at the TV on quiz shows and trying singing along to songs we know.

There was an article I saw about music therapy, cos music activates different areas of the brain, more than art does and professionals are considering it to help like people with parkinsons etc to walk better by walking to a beat etc Learning to play an instrument is meant to be really good for the brain too for memory and higher functions. so we're thinking looking for something like second hand treadmill (maybe someone selling an old one to upgrade to something more fancy) we could get sibling to put parallel bars at each side of it to hold on to.

Maybe look at some second hand instruments and see what we can get for a good deal. xmas maybe a good time to buy with many looking to replace old things with the latest versions...so we have a plan in place and it's been decided between us and protector that Juno and I should stay upfront as 'the host' (as far as the rest of the world is concerned)..though this means we have to deal with everyone who has ever been a part of 'the host's/body's life if they still seem to be expecting some kind of relationship.....not just the one's I feel I relate to best right now!

But we do feel if we've been the one's putting the hard work in we should at least get to spend a xmas with family (out all the time) as we choose to spend it before anyone else comes out and takes over. The pathway that triggers others out to the front does seem to be damaged though as still only us 4 who were originally nearest the front at the point of stroke and kind of 'stuck at the front' have been able to stay at the front and communicate with each other thats me, Juno the protector and the spirit guide.

I've remained the one fronting, P and SG communicate with us in the background like advisors and Juno can blend with me but we've never switched so only she is fronting, she says she's not able to. ..so thats as far as we've got in the last few months.
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Re: How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Postby Amythyst » Thu Nov 25, 2021 4:56 pm

Gang were really sorry about your kitty
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

hwere deeling with really hard work stress agian
noticedagain that the really bad anxietuy comes with felings of being little
they say its good cos we know who its from but dont know yet how to help
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