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How are you today thread (trigger warning)

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Re: How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Postby ArbreMonde » Fri Jul 30, 2021 10:25 am

Tons of moral support sent your way, Colin and all of you!

People who take advantage of vulnerabilities under the guise of love are the WORSE! I hope that you will find ways to keep yourself/ves safe from them!
__
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Managers: The Mirror ♂ (inner self-helper) - Isaïa ♂ ("trauma-sitter") - Theia ♀ (gatekeeper)
Trauma holders: Pride|Wrath ♂ - Lust ♀ - Reyna ♀ - Ulysses ɸ

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Re: How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Postby TheGangsAllHere » Fri Jul 30, 2021 1:46 pm

That sucks, Colin!! I'm sorry someone put you through that. You can tell how someone feels about you by what they DO, not by what they SAY. I hope you're safe from them now.
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Re: How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Postby IainEtc » Fri Jul 30, 2021 8:43 pm

Thanks guys. I made sure we're safe. I'm not letting those mof*ckers messing us up. I kind of let it go too far. My fault. Not making the same mistake twice.

Colin
Iain - 14, Colin - 17, Evan - 7, Cody - 16, Raven, & Host - the adult out front

When they say 'be yourself',
which one do they mean?
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Re: How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Postby spinningtops » Sat Jul 31, 2021 11:33 am

Hi Colin, sorry to hear that. i have experienced that too, glad you have your boundaries up.

~

Things are a really big mess lately, trying to hold things together. TW: i had gone to a really dark spot this last week, leave it at that. but going to see the T Monday, and maybe it will help. I am hoping so.
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Re: How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Postby IainEtc » Sat Jul 31, 2021 12:22 pm

Thanks spinningtop. You good holding on till Monday? Hope your T helps. Just got to make it through.

Things are better for us. I'm pretty much in control now. Setting boundaries and keeping us strong. Host is ok with that. He's not an idiot. He knows we need some space to get better.

Colin
Iain - 14, Colin - 17, Evan - 7, Cody - 16, Raven, & Host - the adult out front

When they say 'be yourself',
which one do they mean?
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Re: How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Postby littleDaria » Sun Aug 01, 2021 3:05 am

we have had an, episode (?), that has shed a little light on some things that have been happening to us recently. we think an insider, previously hidden, has been kind of lurking, watching us. they feel protective, possibly a young boy (the image of Peter Pan comes to mind).

there is an issue though, like others, they communicate only via emotion and limited language. they seem to be worried we are going to do something to get ourselves in trouble, we think the fear is almost certainly focused upon our mother.

they are VERY wary, pathologically so, about being seen. their stealth, it seems, is what has kept them safe.

visually they are indistinct, its the images of two eyes staring from fog that we visualize.

oh wow, they might be a ghost. no, they THINK they are a ghost.

ok, why. they must believe they died?

or is a ghost alter a form of protector, born from a need? as we write we are getting... "i can help, follow me, I know where to hide."

we are getting another image, from a movie, The Sixth Sense, during which the young protagonist is approached by a ghost boy.

that ghostly boy is what we imagine this newly surfaced insider to look like, pale, empty eyes, scary.
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Re: How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Postby HKayo » Mon Aug 02, 2021 7:31 am

New here. Hopefully, this will change my cycle of joining a discord server, not understanding who is who cause everyone is mcyt alters, offending someone because I thought they were someone else with the same identity, and then leaving and finding a new server.

Anyway, I am not doing too good, cause along with the previously mentioned, I am dealing with terrible air quality due to forest fires, and the recent death of my father who I planned to live with at the expense of my mental health because I can't work. Now I am gonna be living alone with my aunt who is on and off about being bad but in the meantime dealing with all the stuff of my dad's well. So yea.
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Re: How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Postby gremandco » Mon Aug 02, 2021 3:33 pm

**mentions of suicide and self harm**

i think i can talk a little about this here because it feels safe.

my favorite time of day is the early hours of the morning, between 4-8 am, when i can watch the sun rise. i like to go outside and sit and drink some coffee or smoke a cigarette and watch the sky get bright while listening to some music.

today, i did that and discovered a new hobby in taking pictures. i took some of the sky, the trees and plants and greenery that was right next to our house, walked down the path of the greenbelt next to us just taking pictures of all the trees and plants while listening to some calming music and it made me so happy that i wanted to just lay down in the dirt until moss grew on me.

i love the pictures i took. i made one of them our phone background.

i don't know what it was about this morning but it made me so happy my chest ached and i wanted to cry. even now, just thinking about it, it makes my chest feel funny and i want to lay down in the dirt because it feels like home.

this was the first day in my known existence that i've ever been genuinely happy to be alive.

in my existence so far, i've struggled with suicidal thoughts and thoughts of self harm. i didn't really like fronting. far earlier this morning, i hated fronting and existing and i wanted to die. but this and the pictures i took and being outside in the foggy early morning, getting mud on my shoes while i pick up the smallest toad i've ever seen... for a while i wasn't sure i could feel love, but this made me sure i could.

now the only reason i'm even slightly sad right now is the fact that i can't be out there all the time.

-kat
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Re: How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Postby TheGangsAllHere » Tue Aug 03, 2021 5:37 am

Hi HKayo,

Welcome to the forum. Sorry to hear about all the fires and the loss of your father. Sounds like things are rough right now.

Hi kat, that sounds really good.

____________________

Today was the first day at the office of the new job I started three months ago. It's been on zoom all this time, but now I'll be going there. Some of us were stressed out about it beforehand, but it worked out ok.

We have therapy first thing in the morning tomorrow, on zoom. Friday's session didn't end well, and we almost decided not to see him tomorrow, but then we decided to try it and see how it goes.
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Re: How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Postby Amythyst » Tue Aug 03, 2021 4:23 pm

hey everybody

were still around & stuff. forgot about the forum again sorry!

were still super strugling with dysfunction & stuff,& boatloads of anxiety, makes doing anything & everything really hard

viola's still writing & publishing stories online, its still her favourite kind of escapeism. still dreaming of becoming a fulltime author. still stuck doing other work that we dont like.

our system hasnt changed much since last time we were here. viola, Em, ciara, teg are the most active. viola's still the one who fronts most

and were still doing therapy, making slow progress with stuff, dealing with the past, trying to make sense of the present.

we hope folks here are doing ok.
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3
Ciara(10f); Em(22f); Teg(6f); Viola(17f); et multa magis
DID, general anxiety; previously depression, bipolar.(New) Journey Thread
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