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How are you today thread (trigger warning)

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Re: How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Postby Jessica6 » Fri Oct 30, 2020 12:18 am

KalliopePS wrote:Our S/O has added all the system parts to the Christmas list and in turn they will all give gifts as well. It was the S/O's idea. I don't know if others do similar things but it does feel validating and supportive of all of us, not just the alts most people assume is us.


Wow that seems SO nice. I'll admit that I don't know we're so differentiated, that we even care to do that for Christmas, it's still a really nice gesture, and it must be lovely to have a supportive s/o- you're very fortunate.

Our s/o.... would tell us to quit playing around we're full of $#%^, at the idea of 'others'. We have to keep a very tight mask on with them. It would only either elicit skeptical scorn, or confuse and frighten them. Our s/o isn't very sympathetic to mental issues.

We are not so disassociative, that we can't mostly hold it together. I'm not the main (I don't think I like the word 'host')- if I'm out, or another is that isn't, we do get strange looks sometimes, but... meh it is what it is. We're more OSDD than DID we think, so there's not total amnesia of day to day switching, and we remember from other to other in at least the short term and in broad generalities, so we're very aware, me and the main and the other that usually fronts, some of the very odd looks folks give us when we're not acting 'normal'. We try, but it isn't always easy. Especially if we're out for a reason. Some things just can't get done, unless I'm doing them.
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Re: How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Postby KalliopePS » Fri Oct 30, 2020 4:14 am

Jessica6 wrote:Our s/o.... would tell us to quit playing around we're full of $#%^, at the idea of 'others'. We have to keep a very tight mask on with them. It would only either elicit skeptical scorn, or confuse and frighten them. Our s/o isn't very sympathetic to mental issues.[/color]


Ohh goodness. I am sad to hear this. That must be challenging. You are a very strong person.

Hugs.
Newly Dxed system. So many questions. Alts: Known who don't want to be named in public Three 2-3,5, Bastian 13,Lucy 16,24,27,30,31and several whose names are yet to be known.
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Re: How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Postby TheGangsAllHere » Fri Oct 30, 2020 5:31 pm

KalliopePS wrote:Our S/O has added all the system parts to the Christmas list and in turn they will all give gifts as well. It was the S/O's idea. I don't know if others do similar things but it does feel validating and supportive of all of us, not just the alts most people assume is us.


What a nice idea. Some of us, especially the littles, are thinking about whether or not we would like to do this. I mean, we don't even celebrate Christmas, but the idea of them each giving something to the husband, and the idea of him knowing them well enough to give them each a present---that sounds so nice.

We still try to look very much the same on the outside, even around him. It's rare that we can relax enough to let him know about switches. But he does like to give gifts. We'll definitely be thinking about this...
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Re: How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Postby KalliopePS » Sat Oct 31, 2020 1:59 am

TheGangsAllHere wrote:We still try to look very much the same on the outside, even around him. It's rare that we can relax enough to let him know about switches. But he does like to give gifts. We'll definitely be thinking about this...


Oh OK.

I don't know if your attempt to "look the same around him" is for his sake or yours but is that difficult for you? My S/O is actively trying to help me with mapping/switching/triggers, so they are quite aware of our behavior and looking for it. This a great but also makes us feel self-conscious when switching and blending etc. They have been great. I just don't know how comfy we will ever feel switching around people.
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Re: How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Postby TheGangsAllHere » Sat Oct 31, 2020 3:39 am

Hi KalliopePS,

It's just the way we've always been, and it's very hard to change that and stop hiding. We've been married for over 30 years and only found out about the alters 3 years ago, so there are a lot of patterns and habits that are hard to change. And no one else knows except our therapist.

We go back and forth about having him know more about who's in front. We actually bought a bunch of snap charms and a bracelet, because we had the idea of switching out the charms depending on who was in front. The bracelet has room for three charms, because sometimes it's a team of 2 or 3 of us who are out.

But even though we had everyone pick out a charm, and we gave the husband a list of who was who, we didn't end up wearing it. We often don't know that someone different was out until later on, and I'm sure we don't know who everyone is, and some of us pretend to be others. It just seems like too much effort for not very much gain, at least right now to whoever is writing this. :?
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Re: How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Postby birdsong87 » Sat Oct 31, 2020 9:52 pm

sending good thoughts for everyone who might be struggling tonight.
you are not alone. it will pass.
Dx: DID cPTSD
L (host 1); Asti (host 2); Annett (teen protector); Maya (child); Age (observer); Thamara (child); Danielle (aut. teen); Mike (caregiver) and others
Our blog on resources https://www.dis-sos.com
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Re: How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Postby IainEtc » Tue Nov 03, 2020 1:34 am

Thanks birdsong.

We're wrapped pretty tight here. On red alert. Things are coming unglued out on the street. We saw guys in camo with AR-15s today. I'm trying to take care of everybody - but F-k it's hard!

Colin
Iain - 14, Colin - 17, Evan - 7, Cody - 16, Raven, & Host - the adult out front

When they say 'be yourself',
which one do they mean?
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Re: How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Postby KalliopePS » Tue Nov 03, 2020 2:06 am

Holy crap Colin, are you OK?
Newly Dxed system. So many questions. Alts: Known who don't want to be named in public Three 2-3,5, Bastian 13,Lucy 16,24,27,30,31and several whose names are yet to be known.
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Re: How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Postby Snaga » Tue Nov 03, 2020 2:54 am

IainEtc wrote:Thanks birdsong.

We're wrapped pretty tight here. On red alert. Things are coming unglued out on the street. We saw guys in camo with AR-15s today. I'm trying to take care of everybody - but F-k it's hard!

Colin


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Re: How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Postby TheGangsAllHere » Tue Nov 03, 2020 5:45 am

Sorry things are so scary there right now Colin. Keep yourselves safe tomorrow and the rest of this week.
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