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How are you today thread (trigger warning)

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Re: How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Postby TheGangsAllHere » Thu Aug 01, 2019 2:41 am

Sorry you had a bad weekend, Colin.

Hope your nerve pain is better today, L.

Been having an issue with the T that took up ALL of yesterday and led to a bad night's sleep. I got some things done today, but that was in spite of feeling bad, not because I was feeling fine and productive. :(
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Re: How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Postby BeccaBee » Thu Aug 01, 2019 10:23 am

$#%^ happens, Colin. we cant always predict or prevent it. sometimes you're just outgunned. hope it gets better soon.

sorry about the T gangs. sounds like the kind of thing that will be upsetting for a while.

I am brain tired. worked from home until late last night doing crucial things and the other two superstars on the team didn't pull their weight. I want to be sure my boss knows who ACTUALLY stepped up. but dont want to brag on myself. I am going to see if these girls give me credit or try to take teamwork credit. then I will know what I'm dealing with.

was at the doc yesterday to get my disability accomodations and asked if she would recommend remote work when possible in addition to the lighting and glare stuff. 2 more days and I should have some lighting shade blockie things soon. gonna take a lot of ubiquinol this morning. brain fatigue is bad.
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Re: How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Postby birdsong87 » Thu Aug 01, 2019 10:47 am

I increased the lyrica in the hope to block the pain. makes me feel drunk. Annett hates it.
but it seems like we are managing the pain.
we are not so good at managing emotional pain right now.
we keep hitting that thing with the wishes and dreams.
that it is safer not to have any cause damn, it hurts to even touch the topic.
friends post their pics from their beach vacation.
consider getting a dog.
and we get LOST in tears over our life.
we are miserable if we allow ourselves to feel a wish of our heart.
we have to dissociate that to manage life.
wishes are no good when you are poor and chronically ill.
can't stop crying.
Dx: DID cPTSD
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Re: How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Postby MakersDozn » Thu Aug 01, 2019 12:01 pm

Sorry you're not feeling well, Colin. We hope things get better for you soon.

We are run down, mostly from poor sleep the last couple of nights. So we are staying home from work but left a message saying that we would check our work email periodically. We expect to go back to work tomorrow. We just need some rest.

We had a very productive T session last night, but some of us are concerned that others inside who are more in trauma time will not feel connected to the progress. We're hoping to talk more about that in our journey thread when we're more rested.

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Re: How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Postby Amythyst » Thu Aug 01, 2019 12:26 pm

BeccaBee, good luck with the accomodations and stuff. And we hope the rest of the team acknowledges the work you did!

birdsong, we hope the lyrica keeps the pain under control. Sorry you're feeling so sad and not having dreams. That's a struggle we share a lot. We hear you about it being safer not to have any.

I'm kinda tired this morning. I thought we had a good sleep last night but then I realize that when I woke up, stuffies had been moved around, and our computer was on a website I don't remember looking at, so now I'm wondering if someone else was active overnight and forgot to 'cover their tracks' or something.

It's a really busy day today too so I can't just take it easy, much as I want to. work and stuff is always super busy at the end/beginning of the month. Bunch of 'time critical' stuff that can't be done early and cannot be late. :(

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Re: How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Postby BeccaBee » Thu Aug 01, 2019 6:37 pm

birdsong can you get a dog? we live our doggy.

work shenanigans continue. I have a meeting with my boss tomorrow called discussion. in my response I asked what I should be prepared to discuss. ****crickets****

I dont know which is worse. my anger or apathy. both cripple any chance at real connection with anyone.

every day I walk in this place feels like being in azkeban with dementors feeding on my soul.

my biggest dream is to work from home. but I'm prepared for some #######4 tomorrow.
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Re: How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Postby Amythyst » Thu Aug 01, 2019 6:40 pm

Hey BeccaBee,

Good luck! I hope the talk with the boss is good news.

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Re: How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Postby birdsong87 » Thu Aug 01, 2019 7:09 pm

we have a less than 350 square feet home without a garden.
and pretty much exactly 200$ to live on in a month.
even just the yearly taxes (!) for having a dog here are more than we have to eat in a month.
we can't afford a dog.

it is one of the things we are most heart-broken about in our life. that and a vacation.
it makes it sososo hard to see other people have a life and money and big homes and freedom to choose.
3 of our close friends are on vacation at the coast right now, constantly posting beach pictures.

we did the hypnosis thing today and kind of got the pain under control. all my days are all about managing pain.
Dx: DID cPTSD
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Re: How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Postby H-Black » Fri Aug 02, 2019 9:06 am

That's really tough, birdsong.

I really hope you have better days soon.
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Re: How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Postby BeccaBee » Fri Aug 02, 2019 10:07 am

TGIF!!
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