How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Thanks for the support, BeccaBee, VioletFlux and TheGangsAllHere. It was a three-day thing. I'm home now. It was kind of good? But I know there will come up a lot to process in the next few days.

While travelling home, I thought about "that this is how I lived" - I always lived *in the moment*, without awareness of other things and other information existing. I never stopped to think about anything.

Hi fireheart, glad you're home ok and everything.

----

Mike fronted for a few hours yesterday afternoon. It's pretty rare, he usually only fully fronts if there's like an immediate threat or something. This was more like, give the guy some time to just relax and stuff.

*** possible trigger warning, dysphoria, body stuff, food ***

So it's been super hot here again, heat wave and stuff, and I'd already kinda gotten comfortable before we decided he'd have the body for the afternoon. Basically just had a big oversized shirt on and nothing else.

I was a bit worried he'd freak out with dysphoria but it was actually better for him? Not feeling a bra on his chest was better than having one on. And bare legs was better than wearing tights or leggings.

I was co-con with him at least some of the time, cos I remember him looking out a window and thinking if anyone was looking in, they'd see his junk hanging down under the shirt. lol. I guess like the rest of us, he sees the body as his own body, forgets that it's not what other people see.

On the un-good side of things tho, he ate too much. Only fronting rarely I guess he wanted to eat different things he likes, and maybe wasn't thinking about the body and the rest of us.

*** end trigger warning ***

Today we're supposed to meet our friend, go hiking, and have lunch. It was originally spossed to be 2 weeks ago but she had to cancel at the last minute. I'm hoping she won't have to cancel again this time.

Hope everyone has a good day today.

V2

Hi, Fireheart.

Those situation, after finished, let us know how far we got and what else we could do. It's nice you are processing studf but be sure to remember you're home now and you're safe there.

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Hi, V2.

Sounds like he had a good time and that's nice, althought, not too good for the rest of you dealing with a real fully belly.

-

I'm "okay" right now. A bit sleepy. Today's holiday here but I've to go to work. I don't feel bad about it, tho.

Hope it gets to be a good day.

Today has been a real emotional rollercoaster.

An hour before we were going to head out to meet our friend there was a work crisis... a computer thing we thought we took care of a week ago, but turns out we only did half the job then forgot about the rest.

I tried to fix it and stuff but trying to patch it up quickly jsut made things even worse so then I had to try to undo my 'fix' and stuff just to get it back from completely broken to only partially broken. Then I just left it and went out to be with our friend.

It messed me up a bit first so I forgot stuff and wasn't ready and couldn't remember where I was supposed to go and all that. But, we got there and met her.

And then most of the day was really fun. We went hiking and we talked and stuff, saw pretty bugs and baby ducks and lots of nature stuff. And then we had a big sushi meal, and then icecream after. And Melissa came out for the icecream and our friend was nice to her and they talked a little, but Melissa is still really shy and stuff so she didn't hang around too long. Then our friend and we said bye and we came home.

Also - our friend realized something had 'changed' when we switched, and pretty quickly she guessed it was Melissa. Then when we switched back our friend saw that too and recognized me. And it felt really wierd in a way? I asked our friend how could she tell, and she just said, "you were a different person, i couldn't not notice!" And like, now I'm a little curious to know what it looks like, but I'm also a little afraid, like maybe I don't really wanna know?

Anyways, since getting home it was right back into the broken computer hell, plus answering a bunch of emails from customers asking why the thing wasn't working right. After two hours of stress and a feeling of impending doom (and wishing we could just quit & throw the computers in a dumpster) I just now finally got it fixed but I'm still super stressed but also super tired.

Anyways, just had to kind of vent a bit about that.

V2

We also saw two big owls and a bald eagle and three falcons!

Melissa

whoa that's cool melissa!!!!!!!!!

we had T day today. she helped.
but it is always a tough day
I am just waiting for the painkillers to kick in
trying not to overdose them out of despair and the wish to make them faster
my face hurts worse than usual, not like the burning and not like the hot wire under the skin
I mean really bad.
nerve pain is evil
the trigeminal nerve divides all around the eye socket.
I can barely see on my left side
there is pain behind my eye balls
just typing to keep myself from thinking of the pain.
god this sucks more than you can imagine.

Hi Melissa,

That's pretty cool about the birds.

Hi birdsong,

I'm sorry you're hurting so much. It's weird your face hurts but I guess any nerve can hurt if it's mad at you. Kind of worried about you. Take care of yourself ok?

Iain

-- Tue Jul 30, 2019 4:35 pm --

Hi Melissa,

That's pretty cool about the birds.

Hi birdsong,

I'm sorry you're hurting so much. It's weird your face hurts but I guess any nerve can hurt if it's mad at you. Kind of worried about you. Take care of yourself ok?

Iain

we hear you birdsong. knew two people with trigeminal neuralgia IRL. they too described the pain as utterly unimaginable if you've never experienced it. and needed to medicate heavily just to survive. praying you get some relief soon.

good to see you people's all still about. you're a decent face for a DID community. mine's all scarred and brutal.

reality's hitting me again after a long time. I don't want to be multiple anymore. we're quiet and stable, but it's always there. i'll never be normal

The weekend sucked. Thought I handled the blood test but it was like a delayed action bomb. It went off a couple days later and blew the sh*t out of us. Wasn't Evan's fault. Like dialing the combination lock of our brain. When the tumblers click in - sh*t floods the system. I should have seen it coming.

Colin