derealization/depersonalization *tw*

hello all
another question from me...i know...so many questions..
it's about derealization/depersonalization.

on friday i was seeing my therapist again, and we continued on the scid 2 testing. apparently it's very difficult, because every time we've gone through those tests i become strange.

the last time i suddenly felt dizzy, and i "faded" away, everything was different, i felt different, felt like another reality. i tried to hide it, but my therapist saw what was going on. extremely embarrassing:( before this happened i answered something complete ridiculous on one of her questions :S
anyway...i was wondering if this is what derealization/depersonalization feels like? the transformation from not feeling real/everything is strange, and then floating over to another reality/self?

Not sure what to answer.

I m not familiar with depersonalisation. I am familiar with fadin out and talkin nonsense and KNOWIN I m talkin nonsense.

However, I always felt that was a part of the dissociation?

Maybe someone else has more answers for you.

Love

Nina11

Hi Riddle,

for me it often feels like I am in a dream or having a very strong deja-vu, and then I remind myself that what is happening around me is actually just happening, but it seems kind of..improbable. Like, "why would I be in such a strange situation, this does not feel real". Sometimes I am convinced I am dreaming and should wake up any minute, and then I realise I'm awake.

Not sure if that makes sense, but I think that is part of the problem

they are and feel exactly as their names state.


derealization is the experience of feeling like nothing is real. kinda like a dream state. your mind can often feel "fuzzy" or "unclear", but you don't always know why. things can just simply seem "off" somehow and thus not seem "that real" to you. things can seem less clear or less bright than you're used to. it's kinda like the difference between looking at something far away that you can barely see and make out, and looking at that something through binoculars and having it be clear and seem closer to you.


depersonalization is the experience of not feeling like a person. feeling more like an object. limbs not feeling or seeming like they belong to you. looking at your hand for example and wondering, "is that really my hand?" sometimes your body can feel like it's not really your's, like sometimes limbs can feel disconnected, or sometimes you can feel as if the only way you know that a limb is attached to you is because you're watching it move, stuff like that.


- cassie (age ?)

When I explained the dissociation to someone, and derealization happened, I explained it like this.
It feels like the world is not real. Like optical illusion. It seems real, but you know it isn't. But with optical illusion you know it's not real. But it seems real. With derealisation, you know it's real but it just 'feels' unreal. (didn't tell this last bit:) Feels like when looking at some sort of hologram.
Hope this helps!

-? us?

i'm sorry it took me so long to reply, don't mean to come off as "demanding" answers and then disappearing....

thank you for the replies, so can depersonalization/derealization happen during a switch as well? can those states make you feel like you're someone else, in another country, with preferences that can differ from your own, or is that the whole concept of just being in a derealizational/depersonalization state? i'm confused by the difference of switching and depersonalization/derealization....

i'm not sure what's going on...but on monday, when i was at the hospital for checkup on my foot, i suddenly fainted(even though i was sitting down)i'm not sure if it was because i felt a change in my mind(because one of the last things i remember is that i felt something change..and i was scared i'd go into "another reality") or if it was because of not eating properly(i'm not allowed to eat too much by the critical voice) they did some testing after i woke up, and all tests seemed fine...the doc said i might just have a little low blood pressure.

anyway, i've been addicted to snuff for the past 5-6 years, but after the fainting and throwing up incident, even the thought of snuff makes me gag. i even forget that i used to snuff until i see one of my snuff boxes, and still it doesn't feel like it's mine.
oh well, i've been off it for a week without any withdrawal symptoms, pretty strange considering i always had to have one in my mouth, due to helping reduce stress.

Riddle, from your description in the original post, I'd say you had derealisation or depersonalisation (or both) and then switched. The feeling like a different person was the switching, I'd say. You sound like you was aware of it happening, as one of you "faded away" and another took over. X

riddle wrote:every time we've gone through those tests i become strange

This is normal, and expected. This is exactly what the SCID-D is designed to do. If you have a dissociative disorder the SCID-D will elicit dissociative signs and symptoms.

Feelings of embarrassment about these signs and symptoms are normal too! We all assume naively we are uniquely strange. But depersonalization and derealization are so similar from person to person all over the world that a diagnostician who has been educated about dissociation can recognize the signs and symptoms immediately and so can we!

You are not alone. You are not even strange. You are merely dissociative, and your dissociation is a completely natural, normal human response to trauma.

-- Sat Mar 16, 2013 2:10 pm --

riddle wrote:i suddenly fainted(even though i was sitting down)

This is a common stress response, the vasovagal response. Some women experience it while lying down, for example during a routine ob/gyn pelvic exam. You may want to tell your other doctors about it, so they know to keep a closer watch on you during procedures that are stressful for you.

Wikipedia: Vasovagal response

As I understand it...

Depersonalization is when the body feels like it doesn't belong to oneself. This happens quite often when some other part is (mostly) out / in control. I think the two are closely linked. It's quite logical that when another part is out, the body feels foreign, I think. DP is not the same as switching. DP is the feeling that the body isn't real or doesn't belong to you (when it actually is/does). Switching is when a different part takes over control (then the body is still yours, it's just that a different part of you is in control).

Both DP (depersonalization) and DR (derealization) often happen during switches. Especially during switches.

It could be a different part was addicted (but it felt like you were, well, a part of you was anyway). That could explain why you haven't any withdrawal symptoms.

thanks for helping me to understand myself...

i'm just hoping i won't quit therapy...i told my therapist last time that i might not want to continue, since i feel somewhat safe going through different "realities" and "not having to be the one" experiencing everything...but it's also damaging and sometimes scary. (and also annoying to forget a lot of the things i'd like to remember, even though it's great for the things i want to forget)
my best friend and my partner refuses to let me quit therapy....and i think i'll eventually commit suicide unless i get some sort of help...it's like a want help...and i don't want it :S
how can one survive in "normal" peoples reality...how can you survive when you can't escape to other realities...?
i've been to around 10-13 different therapist...and none has ever brought up dissociation, i guess i never told them about my symptoms, since i thought it was just me..or normal..or something.
i guess i should continue therapy....i just hope i won't do anything stupid