Is it possible I have OSDD ?

Hi There

What I know.

I have experienced amnesia as a child over long periods of time.
I have memory and was aware at the time of sexual abuse from 12 to 19. Often the abuse which I would recall then no recall after the beginning of it. Authorities kept returning me to the care of the abuser (not father). I was further abused by others during that time period.
I recall experiencing co-consciousness, twice once at 10 then at 15 , both times the woman's voice was the same. The incident when I 15 she helped save me from possible murder.
I have a memory of being sexually abused at 3 by a man. My father witnessed the assault, it was by a man he knew from jail.
My father was not a stable man, my early childhood consisted of constant moving. He had little awareness or concern of how appropriate it was to place a young child in situations beyond what most mindful parents would. He was dangerously violent to my mother - broken bone, I had amnesia for a week.
When I was 22 and living in top floor flat, items were being moved around, odd stuff like curtain/s.it couldn't be a neighbor , so I concluded it was a poltergeist.
I disassociated often mostly conscious of it, but was very forgetful.
Lots of problems with flashbacks, scared to try to sleep in the dark, sleep with light on.
Frequently felt my mind kept secrets from me, had experiences of sensing two realities at the same time like visual eavesdropping on another person. Lucid dreaming. I still dissociate when engaging with people. When I try hard to remember things I dissociate, like a wave pulling me away.
resent psychologist, said I dissociate.
Any thoughts?

I recommend reading posts in the DID forum. It’s very active, informative, and supportive. OSDD and DID are both welcome as well as people who are wondering if they have one of them.

You’ve described prolonged childhood trauma and abuse, and dissociation that you have had since childhood. It’s very possible that you have a major dissociative disorder. The best thing is to find a therapist with experience in dissociative disorders who has seen a lot of DID, etc. They’re hard to find, but worth it.