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Not quite myself anymore....?

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Not quite myself anymore....?

Postby SpaceCadet » Wed Jun 27, 2012 10:49 pm

I've been dissociative for as long as I know. I can't give exact details regarding how long I've been this way, probably because it's apart of my 'normal' range of day-to-day living. I can't walk down the street without going inside myself, or floating above myself and watching someone else doing things for me, and then when I come 'back' I don't remember anything that happened. But that's only half the issue here...

For as long as I know, I will experience intrusive feelings that make me feel like they're not 'mine'...like they belong to someone else, and I feel like I'm 'changing' into another person. For instance, I could be doing something like watching TV, on the Computer, and then something that triggers a splintered emotional state will emerge, and it feels like I'm 'displaced' out of the situation and someone 'hijacks' my body/behavior. I feel like I'm 'in between' myself and another... What scares me is that I can loose complete consciousness sometimes, or I'll feel some 'evil/angry' emotion that emerges as the prelude. I can 'feel' the anger, and the joy of wanting revenge...destruction...it's like a deep-seated urge if that makes sense? But it's not in my nature to be this way, and I have NO IDEA why this happens to me, or where it would come from.

This is only ONE type of emotion that sweeps across me that controls me with varying intensity...I know this seems strange, but what is this? Can anyone help? Is this DID? Or the beginning of it?
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Re: Not quite myself anymore....?

Postby kaylaleigh » Wed Jul 18, 2012 8:32 pm

I don't know if I can help you, but I can tell you that you're not alone. I have very similar experiences to the ones you're describing, and they scare me. Maybe you could PM me sometime and we could see if we could help each other?
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Re: Not quite myself anymore....?

Postby Attheendofmyrope » Sat Aug 25, 2012 6:18 pm

Hi, your post is VERY similar to what my husband says he experiences.
Wife of someone with DID
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Re: Not quite myself anymore....?

Postby Quidel » Tue Jun 17, 2014 3:09 am

If I were to guess, I'd say there are issues of trauma/C-PTSD there. Have you seen a councilor?
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