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I can't remember most of my childhood help

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I can't remember most of my childhood help

Postby abcd12346 » Mon Jul 19, 2021 2:34 pm

This is weird for me to talk about and I'm really confused so sorry if this doesn't make sense.

I can't remember the majority of my early childhood (from before I was 7) which I thought was normal until I asked my mom her earliest memory and it was from she was like, 3 or something. I can barely remember most of pre-school, one of my two memories being bullied by this one kid, and I can't tell people any of the details up until second grade. I can barely remember places and names, but ask me what I was interested in, or most of my class, or what I looked like, or what I did, and I don't know.

It's a similar situation with my memories from third, fourth, and fifth grade. Although I remember considerably more of people and things, I still can't really give many details about most stuff. I remember like, three assignments we did, two of which were from fifth grade, and I remember these two kids who bullied me, but I barely remember any of the bullying itself.

I feel like big chunks of my life are just really blank to me. I don't know, maybe its an ADHD thing or something, but I kinda want to get y'alls takes on it and figure out if its maybe some sort of dissociative amnesia. Thanks for your help!
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Re: I can't remember most of my childhood help

Postby Snaga » Mon Jul 19, 2021 8:06 pm

Hello and welcome!

I struggle sometimes with dissociation. I also have a history of (undiagnosed) ADD behaviours. I used to fancy I had a good memory- but either with age it's decreased- or I'm merely discovering it's not as good as I fancied. I do, however, have early memories- but just isolated vignettes, for the most part, I think.

Do you struggle with current gaps in time? Or is it just your childhood?
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Re: I can't remember most of my childhood help

Postby abcd12346 » Tue Jul 20, 2021 11:15 pm

I don't know. I do have issues remembering things, but that's usually chalked up to usual ADHD forgetfulness. I have apparently done something or said something or moved something and not remember it sometimes, but thats decently rare. I also sometimes daydream or zone out for long periods of time but its not really a gap in time, I just don't usually know what happens during it.
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Re: I can't remember most of my childhood help

Postby Snaga » Thu Jul 22, 2021 4:25 am

I've sometimes suspected myself of having OSDD... lets call it OSDD1b- Alters but not so differentiated that there's frequent memory gaps.

Or I just could be a heck of a lot more BPD than I think I is, I don't know.

Like you, I've done plenty of daydreaming over the years. Some of it probably maladaptive daydreaming.
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Re: I can't remember most of my childhood help

Postby ALiteralPsychopath » Sat Jan 01, 2022 11:16 pm

I feel you, for me I can't really remember much until 5th (?) Grade. And until I wanna say 7th or 8th grade I still have trouble sometimes. I'm only 16 and in sophomore year, so you'd think I'd be able to remember my middle school years better. (I remember a lot about 6th grade because I *actually* got bullied by some girls in gym.. And a couple other things..)
I do remember laying awake for hours on end basically my entire life ( I think I have insomnia but my parents never realized how bad it really was because I'm still functional on 2hrs of sleep) and"pre-dreaming", as I call it, of really messed up things. :(
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Re: I can't remember most of my childhood help

Postby Nike » Thu Apr 28, 2022 11:21 am

I can't remember a lot of my childhood too. I have been to see counsellors, for other things in my life, years ago and one time for a specific incident that I have no memory of, but some how worked it out what it could be, due to current circumstances and i had an anxiety attack. This was years ago. Now, ive decided to go back, to deal specifically with this amnesia and spoke with my doctor, who has referred me onto other counsellors, who can deal with amnesia and now feel im on the right path and this time, i will not be coming off that path. I will see it through.
Ive always felt like part of me was missing and still do to a certain degree, which has caused me some distress throughout my life and now im suffering with depression and anxiety, causing me even more stress. This is why i had to start at the beginning and not just try and go around it.

Though ive spoken about having gaps in my memories, this is the first time i've decided to put it at the forefront and address it verbally to my doctors and get help because of it.
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