I can't remember most of my childhood help

This is weird for me to talk about and I'm really confused so sorry if this doesn't make sense.

I can't remember the majority of my early childhood (from before I was 7) which I thought was normal until I asked my mom her earliest memory and it was from she was like, 3 or something. I can barely remember most of pre-school, one of my two memories being bullied by this one kid, and I can't tell people any of the details up until second grade. I can barely remember places and names, but ask me what I was interested in, or most of my class, or what I looked like, or what I did, and I don't know.

It's a similar situation with my memories from third, fourth, and fifth grade. Although I remember considerably more of people and things, I still can't really give many details about most stuff. I remember like, three assignments we did, two of which were from fifth grade, and I remember these two kids who bullied me, but I barely remember any of the bullying itself.

I feel like big chunks of my life are just really blank to me. I don't know, maybe its an ADHD thing or something, but I kinda want to get y'alls takes on it and figure out if its maybe some sort of dissociative amnesia. Thanks for your help!

Hello and welcome!

I struggle sometimes with dissociation. I also have a history of (undiagnosed) ADD behaviours. I used to fancy I had a good memory- but either with age it's decreased- or I'm merely discovering it's not as good as I fancied. I do, however, have early memories- but just isolated vignettes, for the most part, I think.

Do you struggle with current gaps in time? Or is it just your childhood?

I don't know. I do have issues remembering things, but that's usually chalked up to usual ADHD forgetfulness. I have apparently done something or said something or moved something and not remember it sometimes, but thats decently rare. I also sometimes daydream or zone out for long periods of time but its not really a gap in time, I just don't usually know what happens during it.

I've sometimes suspected myself of having OSDD... lets call it OSDD1b- Alters but not so differentiated that there's frequent memory gaps.

Or I just could be a heck of a lot more BPD than I think I is, I don't know.

Like you, I've done plenty of daydreaming over the years. Some of it probably maladaptive daydreaming.