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Unable to come out of a bad habit because of dissociation

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Unable to come out of a bad habit because of dissociation

Postby bellic007 » Wed Feb 19, 2020 6:23 pm

I am the trying this for so long but still unable to figure out why I lose my personality each time when I come out of a h abbit. That I nearly forget everyeverything I used to do for the days and then my present self withdraws inwards and I act out on my h abbit. It appears scary after ach relapse I feel like i have living another life for the last 10 or 20 days.
I used to do meditation and yoga namaskar daily and some posting in a group as a part of coming out of a h abbit. And on the 10 or 13th day I forget everything.
I forget even how totake mobile and which site to go.
Also I forget how to do meditation and where I will get that. The site all appears so strange to me. That I myself ask am I the one who did this for last 10 days?
This gives me so much anxiety that I nearly wished to let the addiction control me but on the other side the addiction is destroying me. I cannot even understand why my personality switches when day 13 come. And I know part of it was stress and tension but the switching and immediate loss of short term memory make me feel so bad.
That normal people don't understand what I am experiencing. For them they intentionally act out but me I just want to ocmeout of addiction so badly because the addiction is so much affecting my memory consiousnes and thoughts which was already affected by dissociation.
So even though i feel helpless. Anybody have any suggestion tegarfing how to deal with strange feeling of memory loss and personality low during coming out of addictions.
Dx Body Dysmorphic Disorder
Self diagnosed Dissociative Disorder

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Smoker (M) 14 yo
Vyakulan (M) 23 yo
Nirali(M) 13 yo
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