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Please Help! Brain blocked out a face!!! First time ever

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Please Help! Brain blocked out a face!!! First time ever

Postby brainfog » Thu May 25, 2017 7:12 pm

Hi,

a little back story so this can be understood...

I fell in love for the first time in my life being older. I already have a family so it's not great timing. Nothing happened between us, just met in a work type environment. I haven't seen him for many months and we have no contact. He also has feelings for me, he told someone I know so a few months ago and tried to see me through work but i didn't work out.

Anyway, recently I have seen a car parked close to my house. I felt incredible pull towards it but couldn't see his face (i can't see far away well). Anyway, later I was out for a walk and walked right by his car which had an open driver window. I could tell it was a man. I looked at his face. I could tell he was looking at me and smiling. But i BLOCKED out his face! I cannot tell whom I saw in the car even though I was only a few feet away. This has never happened to me before, but since childhood I'm VERY good at lying to myself, denial of things I can't handle, etc... So...

I have a strong feeling it was him. He could've easily looked up my address. He has been in my fantasy world since meeting him, I think about him every day and night. So seeing him in my home environment would be a shock. I have a strong feeling it was him but my brain did not want to consciously see what my eyes saw to protect me. I was not ready to see him and to bring him into reality from my fantasies.

So here is my dilemma, anyone who knows about this and has suggestions, please help!!! If it was him, I want to reach out to him. A few months ago I realized I love him and I have never loved any man. Even though I cannot be with him, I at least want to acknowledge our feelings, it has been driving me crazy to think about him constantly, no matter how I've tried to ignore it.
But if it wasn't him, i won't take action.

So... could it be that it WASN'T him, just a guy who looks a bit like him, but I wanted / expected it to be him so I blocked out his face for that reason? Or the only explanation for this craziness is that it was him and my brain couldn't handle it, bringing him out of my thoughts into my real world?

PS., my friend told me if it was him, he would've said hi, etc.. BUT, knowing him and knowing our situation, him even being by my house was scary for him (almost stalking...) and he is a very cautious person. So... basically I need a percentage, I feel 90% it was him, otherwise why could't I see his face? But could I just be fooling myself, what are the chances i imagined it was him and cause the blackout? Please help!! How to restore this memory? I tried going to that same spot, etc... nothing... I remember the car, the outline of a man, him holding a phone or ipad and that's all.
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Update

Postby brainfog » Sun Jun 11, 2017 11:22 pm

Yes it was him, for those who were wondering. This was the craziest thing that has happened to me probably in my whole life.
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