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Multiple Personality?? memory loss

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Multiple Personality?? memory loss

Postby youarehere » Fri Feb 03, 2017 12:20 am

Hi i just typed a huge post for like an hour long..and when i went to submit it, it made me log in and then i lost it all OMG!!!!!!!!

I can't believe it.
Anyway.

i was writing wondering if Multiple personality is real or what?
I have severe memory problems but i saw a neurologist and i do not have alzeimers or anything in which i was worried about...also i can completely remember certain things but other things absolutely NO memory of..
i have lost complete memories....weeks months years even...lovely vacations years with friends....im talking tons of stuff when other stuff i remember as vividly as real life.

The thing that gets me though is all the sexual stuff...it seems that people ex's etc remind me of sexual things i DO NOT remember and is absolutely NOT my personality AT ALL, i mean...it's very embarrasing because i'm a very prudish non flirtatious type of person and the things people remind me of are complete opposite and it's very embarrasing....i feel as if that person is a completely different person all together.....i DO remember some sexual things the ones i do are completely vivid and have no trouble remembering them, but all the ones i do remember seem like they are not my personality. People have also told me things i have done that are completely not my personality at least not who i feel i am right now.
I've done daring and crazy things and WILD things that most people wouldn't do...i would be the aggressor in the group etc...just stuff that i feel really are not me and the stuff they tell me i say OH MY GOD and i know it's true but it's almost embarrassing because again i feel it isn't me....
Sometimes like my best friend will tell me OH PLEASE don't act shy and innocent, and it makes me feel weird because at the time i DO feel shy and innocent but she says it like i'm normally some outgoing crazy type which of course i am in the things people remind me of..it's just So weird....
I also notice that around certain aggressive people like aggresive abusive family members i find myself acting like a very loud dominant type person that makes me feel like a full blown man with a MANLY stature and a manly attitude and i HATE it so much because i feel like as if i'm a man and i don't wanna be a man i'm a woman...i can NOT stop this it just naturally happens around these people or people very similar.....it disgusts me because i feel like i am some burly man and i feel so ugly and manly when i should be a lady.

I also remember when i was a kid maybe 8-14 on various times my parents would scold me or mention to me to STOP talking like a baby that i wasn't a baby...because i would be talking like i was 3 or 4 years old i never really noticed i was doing it unless i felt really awkward and embarrased because they would tell me to stop talking that was but it felt normal to me like i WAS a child or baby so i guess that's why i was doing it....even till this day i still have times where i feel 100% like a baby or child and i totally find myself acting that way and wanting the other person to be a mother or father type figure it's REALLY weird but i tend to not really notice when it starts or why....if i notice it at all.....

i remember once many years ago when i was maybe 20 walking into the woods with 2 friends and one said to me ''OH WOW you have multiple personality disorder that's amazing i never saw this in person before'' and i was very confused but apparently i had gone into my child mode where i was talking and acting like a child and it was so obvious he held my hand and lead me like a child taking care of me...but it kind of embarrasses me because i never seen to notice when i'm acting differently or how fast i change...

The thing is sometimes i do notice that i'm acting or feeling completely different.

As far as my memory goes ive seen a neurologist because my memory is bad...like i said i lose complete memories, sometimes even years or weeks etc. Nice vacations i've been on, years of memories i had with my best friend at the time that died..i remember abslutely nothing of her that we did when i spent years with her.

I have lost SO much memory it scared me enough to make me go to a neurologist...

I also forget all important things i should remember and this affects my everyday life...people get mad at me and accuse me or only remembering what i want. They say i remember everything that benefits me but I forget everything else...it IS not true ..i forget so much i need to set reminders..

yet the stuff i DO remember i remember it so vividly with great detail, COMPLETELY real as if real life .

i also have random flashbacks or...scent or sound induced flahsbacks that are SO vivid i am IN the memory 100% i can smell what is there i can see i can feel the tempature, i know what kind of day it is outside i am LIVING it as if real life itt's a full body memory with all the senses so real it overtakes my whole body and lasts minutes to an hour even it's VERY weird...

I can also have random memories that i completely totally forgot suddenly come out of nowhere and i'll be like OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!! i completely forgot about that for like 20 years!

and one last thing is....in the spring or fall certain smells would sometimes set off a overpowering full body memory of what i feel are not my own memories...it's like a full body memory and overwheming feeling that takes over my whole body but of what i think maybe are somebody elses memories of past life memories it's so powerful and also feels VERY pleasant and overtakes my body and feels very surreal as if im floating or not in this world i usually just lay there the whole time and enjoy the feeling but it's very weird and kinda sad.


there's so much more i could type it's crazy...... but for now what do you think?
youarehere
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