Dissociating During Sex & Physical Injury

There are 2 situations in which I respond in a way that is becoming increasingly dangerous.

1) I forget sex. This really disturbed my most recent ex, and of course confused a number of other past lovers. Granted, this usually coincides with alcohol - the odd part is, I'll remember EVERYTHING else. I'll remember the pizza we ate before, the t.v. show we watched after, but I'll have NO MEMORY of the sex. To the point where I would get upset with my most recent ex thinking he wasn't attracted to me and he'd have to point out that we just had sex and he couldn't just do it again. It's frustrating because I enjoy sex and enjoy being close to anyone I love. So not remembering it feels like I'm missing out on a significant part of my life.

2) I can't feel physical pain inflicted on me by someone I love. My first serious boyfriend sliced me pretty deep, a few times, with a knife (we were goth kids, it was stupid.) When people ask me "didn't it hurt?" The honest answer is, I didn't feel it. The ex before this current one has a violent temper. One day he shoved dog food down my throat and a few hours later, I forgot. Later that day, I was joyfully playing with his dog and he started crying and apologizing and I couldn't understand what he was talking about. He literally had to REMIND ME that he shoved dog food down my throat.

Does anyone else experience this? What is it?

It does sound like Dissociating Amnesia, but usually a a Therapist or Doctor can diagnose you. It's common under periods of stress, so can be the reason for not remembering physical injury. Don't know about the sex part, so a a Therapist can help you sort that out.

Kali

Thanks, Kali. I usually have a therapist - I currently don't. I always either have a job that allows me a lot of free time but with no or not so great health insurance - or a job that has great health insurance but allows me very little free time. My current situation is the latter. It sucks forgetting things you want to or should remember but remembering all the things you wish you could forget!

Having no memory of sex just minutes afterward is not typical dissociative amnesia. You are losing time during a certain kind of activity, repeatedly, which is typical of DID. I have DID and I used to lose time in connection with sex. Sometimes I would come to in the middle of sexual activity I had not chosen to engage in. Wow was that ever yucky!

Highly dissociative persons often have abnormal experiences of pain. I do. I experience a lot of unexplained severe pain, somatoform pain, and yet after surgeries I am so nearly pain free that I need minimal or no medication for pain relief.

Thank you for sharing, Una - I'm relieved I'm not the only one. I've never considered that I might have DID. But like you I have totally "come to" in situations that I didn't remember getting into.

I also mostly forget completely All sex stuff and don't know why but it's embarrasing because the stuff people tell me like ex's etc...are very embarrasing as if it's stuff i would never say or do.....or things people tell me i have done that i just feel are not my personalit at all...it's So weird..and yes the sex stuff is embarrasing and weird and the guys would sometimes feel insulted that i didn't remember....very weird...