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Total blocks of time

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Total blocks of time

Postby Sandy830 » Wed Dec 02, 2015 12:17 am

Hi, :roll:

I really wish I could talk to someone like me. I have entire days and sometimes weeks where I have complete amnesia. I have had a brain disease which causes some memory issues so no one questions my memory issues. The problem is that I am missing out out on huge chunks of my life. Things I wanted to be present for.... such as my moms passing in July. I was doing okay handling things and then suddenly I was a week past the funeral and didn't even get to say goodbye. It is so frustrating.
I did try another support group but found no answers there. People there seemed to switch in and out of alters at will. That is NOT how it works for me. Maybe there is no answer. Maybe no one can control when it happens to them? Anyway, thank you for reading and if you have any ideas I would love to hear them.

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Re: Total blocks of time

Postby Phoenix1956 » Mon Apr 25, 2016 1:09 am

Sandy830. I do not switch in and out at will either. My switching seems to coincide with stressful events OR within the safety of my Dr.s office. I too loose blocks of time, although not to the extreme you talk of. Yes, it it SO frustrating to try like the devil to remember a period of time and it's IMPOSSIBLE! Do you have a Dr., therapist you trust? I hope so, it makes the world of difference!
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Re: Total blocks of time

Postby brockovich4321 » Mon Apr 25, 2016 10:49 am

I am so sorry to hear you missed your mums funereal :(

I want you to know that I can not switch at will either. I think you will find that people who can, have usually done much work or have been taught to do so.

Like sandy said, my switches are brought on by stressful events, and I do not have any control over the switches. Sometimes I do next t have control over my body either. So although one of the introverted alters may be filling my mind with paranoid thoughts, another alter can still force my body to do things (sometimes) at other times my body is paralyzed.

The switches for me can be brought on by outside events. Like recently my daughter worked out herself (she is 6) that if she compliments my mothering like 'you are the best mum in the world' she can switch me from a tween back to her mother. But I can not internally make this switch occur myself.

I am also in a constant state of disassociation. This is what my Doc says causes the serve DA (Like you have described)

I really know what day it is, loose hours at a time, my short term memory is non existent. Right now (without looking at the calendar) I can only tell you one thing that happened yesterday.. And the rest is a blur.

I know how frightening it can feel, but since I learnt yo accept it, admit it, make light of it & tell my friends about it.. My stress levels have lowered & while its yet to make the DA better, the DA no longer causes stress (unless I push to remember stuff & get upset when I can't)

My calendar is my best friend!!! Sometimes I still get it wrong but it helps to create a timeline.

Just the other day a friend was reminding me of a convocation we were having at her place while she was painting the bathroom. I remember the convocation but have no memory of being in her home. She told me I was there helping & I believe her. But in my memory I was at home/my home having the convocation on the phone, and saw her painting through a pic she sent my phone..

Sure enough when I checked my messages, there was no picture that I thought she sent, only then did I have a vauge memory of standing in the door way chatting while she painted.

It used to drive me crazy.. It still does at times.. I FEEL crazy but I KNOW I'm just sick. It is an hour illness & we will get better.
30yo female, formal Dx DID, aka 'me'..
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