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rage memory

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rage memory

Postby GreenLady » Sat May 31, 2014 5:43 am

Hi, I'm new to these forums, but I need some help... My question is about my husband. He seems to have rage problems that need treatment. He breaks things, punches doors, etc. occasionally when we've had arguments. My big concern is a memory he has from one particularly bad night while we were living in Latin America. We had a fight about dinner, and he took off in a rage from the house. Since then, he has had a memory of beating a guy to a pulp and killing him (it's very graphic), but he thinks it is a false memory. And on nights that he drinks, it always comes back up and is so vivid... When he is sober, he believes it to be false, although very detailed. But when he has been drinking, he is convinced it's real. I don't know what to think anymore. Has anyone else heard of or dealt with memories like this? Could it just be a false memory? Any suggestions for more information? I can't convince him to see a therapist... :(
Thank you!!
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Re: rage memory

Postby Ada » Sat Jun 07, 2014 8:46 pm

Welcome to the forum, D. I don't know much about what you've described. And this is quite a quiet corner of the forum. So it might take a while for anyone knowledgeable to answer.

I'd suggest perhaps posting again to living-with-mental-illness/ ? That's not saying that your husband definitely has a mental illness! Just that it's a general area. And since this question seems to cross between amnesia and alcohol use and anger issues. It would be OK to post there for more diverse opinions.
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Re: rage memory

Postby T.A. Anderson » Sun Jun 08, 2014 7:50 pm

Isn't there pretty clear evidence that his rage memory existed prior to the evening in question. Apparently, he is repressing something, or just not sharing it.

I had a similar false memory. I think it resulted from my having wanted to do something to someone as opposed to having actually done it. Perhaps your husband would consider my memory vivid, but for me it wasn't. Using my imagination I could even construct some of the details, but there always remained a dream like qualtity to the memory. Vivid is relative. My distrurbing false memories were never as vivid as the real ones.

I suspect, like me, murder is out of character for your husband. Perhaps he needs to be looking in his past for an explaination for his rage as opposed to consequences of it.
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