Hitting rock bottom + maybe hopefully some good aim

So, yesterday I drank myself to sleep and while I was at it I relapsed into SH. I hit rock bottom, lost everything I worked towards my whole life. I fell out of college (again). University education was what all I ever wanted and dreamed of. Because of Covid-19 (a major part in this all) I can no longer afford it anymore. I've been supported financially mainly by my parents, but because of the pandemic they noted huge losses they won't be able to do so anymore. Therefore I can't afford education anymore. Furthermore, I can't take it mentally anymore. It's been an obstacle to the point of me being unable to get through it. I know it sounds like a dumb excuse to blame my failings/shortcomings on the pandemic but it was/is a factor too great to handle for me.


On a slightly positive note, I've done research towards mental health help and finally feel ready to make the jump to put it to use, but then again, I am in no position to afford it, really. So as such, I am at a loss. I don't know what to do. I'll try to find at least some minimal wage job. This is my last tiny spark of hope.

If you have read this, great many thanks for your time and attention, this is exactly all I have left. Nothing more remains.
They have something to believe in, and that is all they need.
It's not that much. But it's also everything.

When there's life, there's always hope. A lot of plans have been dashed this year, mine, too. But we have to have faith, that things will be better. Sorry to hear you've lapsed into SH- try to be gentle with that. I know it feels good in the short term but ultimately it ain't no good for us.

How has your mood been of late?