These past few months my mood had been pretty mixed in that I felt quite down, self-critical and planning to do loads of tasks but never getting them done. Last week I experienced an episode of some sort, where I became extremely paranoid that people were going to come to my house and harass me, which I had no reason to believe. The day after this happened, my vision changed and everything seemed really euphoric and I felt much more talkative than usual. Since then I have been in a really surreal mindset, where I have been irritable but drained, depressed but happy, tired but awake, lacking in concentration and experiencing racing thoughts and new ideas. I have been struggling to sleep, sleeping for less than usual, even though I feel physically tired at times. I have also been so forgetful, to the point where I can’t even recall a lot from what’s happened over the past week.
I don’t know what to do. I was diagnosed with depression for years but my mood has always been so hard to explain. Could anyone give me some advice as to why i’m feeling like this? I can’t fully explain what i’m feeling because it is too hard to explain. I haven’t taken any medication in months and I want to keep it that way. Everything is just so confusing right now and I have no idea what I should do. Should I create a mood diary? Is this possibly another condition? Is this normal for depression? A little bit of advice would be great! Thanks